u/Strange_Coconut3641

I have a medical condition that I’ve been working through (vaginismus) that has prevented me from having PIV sex. I’m in my early thirties and I’m starting to panic about it honestly. I’d like to ultimately try with the right person but sometimes I get so in my head about my age and lack of experience. Not to mention societal commentary about someone in their thirties not having had PIV sex. Anyone else in this boat—maybe not a medical issue, but some other reason—and end up having sex in your thirties for the first time? I’d love to hear stories!

Like when you go to "push" a dilator in, are you supposed to be inhaling or exhaling to help? I've seen both answers on here!

I guess in this context I’m asking about relationships. I met someone really cool, but the timing is horrible. I have so much going on in my personal life that I had to tell him I don’t have the bandwidth to date right now. It was the right call but I’m really bummed. Have you ever had this happen and reconnected later?

I’m fairly confident I know where my entrance is in a mirror. But looking at it makes me feel confused because how the heck does something go in there? Logically I understand that it adapts but looking at it gives me a mental block. Has anyone experienced this and how did you get past it?

Backstory: I sent a vulnerable message to someone I was forming a relationship with and they just…didn’t respond. Logically I know all the things I’m supposed to tell myself: different communication styles, probably doesn’t have to do with me, probably not a match.

But I find myself really struggling with it. I’m always willing to have hard convos and give clarity. When someone leaves me in total silence I feel like it really triggers me and I don’t know how to process it or get out of the spiral. Any advice that has helped you?

And how is it going now?

Hi all. This sub is so helpful! I’m having trouble and I don‘t exactly know what’s happening so I’m wondering if someone has had a similar experience and can help.

I am working on trying to insert a finger. I can semi comfortably separate my labia and then I try to put a finger tip in the general area above my perineum where I (think?) the entrance is.

Then I experience two things: One is that I don’t feel like I can go anywhere. The second is I feel like I have to pee, lol. Anyone know what’s going on and have tips? I don’t know how to progress.

thank you!

As the title says, I'm curious about others' experiences with emotional connection among partners. Background: I've been with the same person for a long time, and it is both of our first serious relationships. I'm struggling with emotional connection, which I've expressed many times, but not much has changed thus far. He semi attributes the lack of emotional connection on the lack of PIV, which I personally disagree with and it is a point of contention with us.

I think it impacts me wanting to (or in this case, not wanting to) advance and try things. I just generally feel kind of turned off by it. It also makes me feel stuck because I'm in my 30s.

Since I have no other serious relationships to compare it too, I'd love to hear from other people about the impact that emotional connection had on your progress among different partners.

Thank you. <3

I could use some triumph stories! I’ve never been able to insert anything. I was very scared of my own vagina for so long. Now I’m able to look at it in the mirror and put a finger inside my labia but really struggling to figure out how to insert it. I’m just feeling stuck and frustrated because it’s been months of trying different things to figure it out and I kind of just get frustrated every time I try now even though I’ve watched videos and gotten advice from my PT. If you were in a similar situation, can you share how you overcame it?

Just curious. Personally I moved to a new city a few years ago and have had the hardest time finding friends. I’m not someone who usually has trouble with this, but, so many people I’ve tried to be friends with change plans last minute and don’t initiate in return after I make plans a few times. I‘m wondering if it’s my hint that this isn’t my place. Obviously I’m evaluating the practical too, haha, but have you ever experienced “signs” that something wasn’t working - and what happened??

I feel so silly. I was told to look in the mirror. I'm looking in the mirror (separating labia) and I have no idea where it is, still? Or how I'm supposed to insert a dilator? Can someone describe what I am supposed to do, I'm so confused lol!