u/StrwbrryTobz

Thank you for all the advice I got last time!! It was a huge help! I tried to clear up some details without sacrificing pacing. Hopefully the passivity problem is better, too. My main character is dreaming about faeries, but I’m dreaming about the day I enter nitpick territory, haha.

TW for mentions of suicide

[Edit: there’s a revised attempt in the comments]

Dear [agent],

Given your interest in [this], I’m presenting STRINGS OF FAETE, a standalone YA, LGBTQIA+ contemporary fantasy novel with series potential. Complete at 96,000 words, it combines the bubbly, magical fae companion of FT Lukens’ Otherworldly with the themes of self-acceptance and mental health found in Mason Deaver’s I Wish You All the Best.

Sixteen-year-old Tatsuki Allen's beautiful dreams make him miserable. Each night filled with faeries and love makes each day with his demanding, homophobic father harder. Against his will, he moves countries to live with his estranged mother and half-brother. America is difficult enough without high school, where a social blunder ends with him nearly breaking his neck on the stairs. Saved by classmate Winter Araenum, Tatsuki has no clue he's just reconnected with his lover from a previous life, nor that his presence will awaken magical forces within him.

While struggling to bond with Winter and his new family, Tatsuki fights an otherworldly call from the woods, tempting him to meet his demise. Abandoned, homesick, and isolated from his friends, every failure fractures his resolve. After clashing with his brother, ruining a gift meant for his mom, and nearly poisoning gluten-intolerant Winter, Tatsuki heeds the woods’ call and tries to take his life. Instead, he meets a faerie.

Tatsuki feels hopeful when Áine, a chipper but tactless faerie, reveals he's a reincarnated fae. He agrees to aid her mission to rescue fae who have gone to the human world and warped into monsters, and in exchange, she'll give him the life of his dreams…literally. However, going to her realm means reverting to his fae incarnation, sacrificing his human identity. Between fighting a floating head in a Target bathroom, navigating his crush on Winter, and saving his brother from a zombie, Tatsuki must decide whether a new life is worth giving up who he is.

I’m a bisexual and demisexual high school English teacher who cares deeply about teens seeing themselves represented in literature. As my book deals with themes of depression and suicidal ideation, I was lucky enough to have it reviewed by a therapist. I recently won a short story contest and was one of five contestants published in the April 2026 issue of Lavender Rising.

Thank you for your consideration,

[Name]

Any advice, comments, or criticisms would be appreciated!

Worked on the pacing and passivity after getting some really fantastic advice. I feel like I‘ve been battling the passive problem for a bit, but someone finally explained it in a way that gave me a lightbulb moment…or at least I hope, lol. Of course it’s possible I’ve missed the mark again. This one is definitely shorter than all of my recent attempts, so hopefully 🤞 that’s indicative that the pacing has improved.

As always, thank you to everyone who has helped me thus far! This community is so wonderful. Any comments or critiques are appreciated!

A quick question if anyone happens to know, if I know how long the series will be, were it to get picked up as a series and not just a standalone, should I mention that? Like, “standalone with four-volume series potential”? Or is that unnecessary?

[Edit: There’s a revision posted in the comments. Not sure which version is better, though, tbh!)

TW for mentions of suicide.

Dear [agent],

Given your interest in [this], I’m presenting STRINGS OF FAETE, a standalone YA, LGBTQIA+ contemporary fantasy novel with series potential. Complete at 96,000 words, it combines the bubbly, magical fae companion of FT Lukens’ Otherworldly with the themes of self-acceptance and mental health found in Mason Deaver’s I Wish You All the Best.

Sixteen-year-old Tatsuki Allen never stops trying. His efforts at being the straight, masculine son his dad wants just get him kicked out, though. Sent to America to live with his estranged mother and half-brother, his attempts to bond with them result in nothing but burdens and burnt bread. When classmate Winter Araneum saves him from nearly breaking his neck, he feels something strange, like magic mixed with déjà vu. He tries to bond, but nearly poisons the Celiac boy with gluten instead. With each failure, he's fighting against a call from the woods, urging him to give up and end his life. By the time he realizes the woods are literally calling, he's already immersed in a deadly monster hunt.

Tatsuki learns he’s a reincarnated fae when Áine, an energetic and infuriatingly optimistic faerie, saves him from dying in the woods. Tatsuki agrees to aid her mission to collect the souls of monsters previously invisible to him, who are stealing human energy. He's offered a bittersweet reward: she'll take him to the accepting paradise that's her home, but he'll revert back to his fae incarnation, sacrificing his identity. Disappearing feels like the right thing to do, but when he finally stops pretending to be someone he's not, he finds himself tentatively connecting with both Winter and his new family. Before Áine's offer expires, he needs to decide if his human life is worth living.

I’m a bisexual and demisexual high school English teacher who cares deeply about teens seeing themselves represented in literature. As my book deals with themes of depression and suicidal ideation, I was lucky enough to have it reviewed by a therapist. I recently won a short story contest and was one of five contestants published in the April 2026 issue of Lavender Rising.

Thank you for your consideration,

[Name}

Edit: Just realized my title says 95k instead of 96k. That’s just an error on my part. Sorry!

Third attempt here, but technically my ninth overall. I cut out my third comp for the sake of the word count. Here’s hoping I might be getting close! I’ve certainly come a long way since attempt one, although sometimes I worry I’m taking steps backwards.

I am wondering, if I know how long the series would be, were it to get picked up as a series and not just a standalone, should I mention that? Like, “standalone with four-volume series potential”? Or is that frowned upon?

As always, any comments and/or critiques are appreciated! Thank you to everyone who has helped me thus far!

TW for mentions of suicide

[I posted one revised letter in the comments, based upon the feedback I received.]

Dear [agent],

Given your interest in [this], I’d like to offer for your consideration STRINGS OF FAETE, a standalone YA, LGBTQIA+ contemporary fantasy novel with series potential. Complete at 96,000 words, it combines the bubbly, magical fae companion of FT Lukens’ Otherworldly with the themes of self-acceptance and mental health found in Mason Deaver’s I Wish You All the Best.

Sixteen-year-old Tatsuki Allen believes he’s a burden. He’s not the masculine, straight son his dad wants, and his depression has done nothing but hurt his friends. When he’s sent to America to live with a mother and half-brother he’s never met, he quickly realizes he’s a burden there, too. He begins making plans to end his life, but a fateful collision with classmate Winter Areneum leaves him with an unexplainable desire to connect with the abrasive, taciturn boy. He also feels a strange, irresistible force drawing him to the woods and compelling him to create a circle of stones around a pond. By the time he decides to drown himself, he’s already opened a portal and is quickly entangled in a deadly monster hunt.

Tatsuki learns he’s a reincarnated fae when Áine, a faerie, emerges from the portal. She’s on a mission to extract the souls of terrifying monsters that are stealing the energy of living beings. If Tatsuki can help her collect four souls, she’ll reward him by taking him with her when she returns to the accepting paradise she calls home. If he fails, not only will he be ripped to shreds, but he’ll turn into a monster himself. If Tatsuki hopes to save those the monsters are preying upon, he needs to get closer to them. As he builds bonds with Winter, his classmate Amira, and his new family, the feeling of being a burden starts to diminish, and he finds himself questioning if giving up his human life for the fae world is actually the right choice.

I’m a bisexual and demisexual high school English teacher who cares deeply about teens seeing themselves represented in literature. As my book deals with themes of depression and suicidal ideation, I was lucky enough to have it reviewed by a therapist. I recently won a short story contest and was one of five contestants published in the April 2026 issue of Lavender Rising.

Thank you for your consideration,

[Name]

Thank you so much for the help last time! I made quite a few edits, including changing some of my comps and trying to highlight my inciting incident better. Any thoughts or critiques on this would be appreciated! I’m sitting at exactly 400 words right now. I kind of wanted to specify that Tatsuki’s dad sends him to live in America with his mom and brother, but I’m hesitant to add even a single word over 400, haha.

TW for mentions of suicide.

Dear [agent],

Given your interest in [this], I’d like to offer for your consideration STRINGS OF FAETE, a standalone YA, LGBTQIA+ contemporary fantasy novel with series potential. Complete at 96,000 words, it combines the bubbly, magical fae companion of FT Lukens’ Otherworldly with the themes of self-acceptance and mental health found in Mason Deaver’s I Wish You All the Best, while mixing in reincarnation flashback sequences similar to Laura Steven’s Our Infinite Fates.

Tatsuki Allen, a bisexual sixteen-year-old, is plagued by dreams of faeries and magic. His dad criticizes such dreams as girly, just as he criticizes everything about him. Already wallowing in low self-esteem, Tatsuki’s depression deepens when his dad sends him to live with a mother and half-brother he’s never met. Convinced he’ll never be accepted for who he truly is, Tatsuki makes hesitant plans to end his life. But after meeting classmate Winter Araneum, things take a magical turn. Following a compulsion that leads him to a pond in the woods, Tatsuki unknowingly creates a faerie ring. His plans to drown himself are cut short as he suddenly finds himself entangled in a deadly monster hunt.

A faerie informs Tatsuki that he’s a reincarnated fae and tells him she’s on a mission to collect the souls of terrifying beasts plaguing the human world. She agrees to take him to the accepting paradise that is her home if he first helps her collect four souls. If he fails, not only will he be ripped to shreds, but he’ll turn into a monster himself. He has until the end of the bargain to decide if he’ll go; otherwise, she’ll leave him behind. His determination to leave begins to falter, though; his new family begins offering support, his lesbian classmate provides him community, and he finds himself suspecting that Winter might be the kindred spirit he’s always longed for. As his deadline looms, he finds himself questioning if leaving his life behind is the right choice.

I’m a bisexual and demisexual high school English teacher who cares deeply about teens seeing themselves represented in literature. As my book deals with themes of depression and suicidal ideation, I was lucky enough to have it reviewed by a therapist. I recently won a short story contest and was one of five contestants published in the April 2026 issue of Lavender Rising.

Thank you for your consideration,

[Name]

Thank you to everyone who helped me with my last attempt! I updated my comps to better suit my genre and tried to speed up my first blurb paragraph. Hoping I’m getting close! I’m sitting on 400 exactly.

Any critiques or thoughts would be appreciated!

Dear [agent],

Given your interest in [this], I’d like to offer for your consideration STRINGS OF FAETE, a standalone YA, LGBTQIA+ contemporary fantasy novel with series potential. Complete at 96,000 words, it combines the bubbly, magical fae companion of FT Lukens’ Otherworldly with the themes of self-acceptance and mental health found in Mason Deaver’s I Wish You All the Best, while mixing in reincarnation flashback sequences similar to Laura Steven’s Our Infinite Fates.

Tatsuki Allen, a bisexual sixteen-year-old, is plagued by dreams of faeries and magic. His dad criticizes such dreams as girly, just as he criticizes everything about him. Already wallowing in low self-esteem, Tatsuki’s depression deepens when his dad sends him to live with a mother and half-brother he’s never met. Convinced he’ll never be accepted for who he truly is, Tatsuki makes hesitant plans to end his life. But after meeting classmate Winter Araneum, things take a magical turn. Following a compulsion that leads him to a pond in the woods, Tatsuki unknowingly creates a faerie ring. His plans to drown himself are cut short as he suddenly finds himself entangled in a deadly monster hunt.

A faerie informs Tatsuki that he’s a reincarnated fae and tells him she’s on a mission to collect the souls of terrifying beasts plaguing the human world. She agrees to take him to the accepting paradise that is her home if he first helps her collect four souls. If he fails, not only will he be ripped to shreds, but he’ll turn into a monster himself. He has until the end of the bargain to decide if he’ll go; otherwise, she’ll leave him behind. His determination to leave begins to falter, though; his new family begins offering support, his lesbian classmate provides him community, and he finds himself suspecting that Winter might be the kindred spirit he’s always longed for. As his deadline looms, he finds himself questioning if leaving his life behind is the right choice.

I’m a bisexual and demisexual high school English teacher who cares deeply about teens seeing themselves represented in literature. As my book deals with themes of depression and suicidal ideation, I was lucky enough to have it reviewed by a therapist. I recently won a short story contest and was one of five contestants published in the April 2026 issue of Lavender Rising.

Thank you for your consideration,

Hopeful I'm getting close. My word count is 385, which I'm worried is a little high. I'm admittedly starting to feel self-conscious about my number of attempts.

Thank you so much to everyone who has helped me thus far!

TW: Mentions of suicide

Dear [agent],

Given your interest in [this], I’d like to offer for your consideration STRINGS OF FAETE, a standalone YA, LGBTQIA+ contemporary fantasy novel with series potential. Complete at 96,000 words, it combines the anxious monster-hunting and exploration of identity found in CG Drews’ Don't Let the Forest In with the gentler themes of self-acceptance and family found in Mason Deaver’s I Wish You All the Best.

Tatsuki Allen, a bisexual sixteen-year-old, is plagued by dreams of faeries and magic. His dad criticizes such dreams as girly, just as he criticizes everything about him. Already wallowing in low self-esteem, Tatsuki’s depression deepens when his dad sends him to live with a mother and half-brother he’s never met. Convinced he’ll never be accepted for who he truly is, Tatsuki makes hesitant plans to end his life. But after meeting classmate Winter Araneum, things take a magical turn. He feels an irresistible pull to a pond in the woods, along with a compulsion to create a ring of stones. By the time he makes the decision to drown himself, he’s already created a faerie circle.

He meets a faerie on a mission to collect the souls of terrifying monsters plaguing the human world. Claiming he’s a reincarnated fae, she agrees to take him to the accepting paradise that is her home if he first helps her collect four souls. If he fails, not only will he be ripped to shreds, but he’ll turn into a monster himself. He has until the end of the bargain to decide if he’ll go; otherwise, she’ll leave him behind. His determination to leave begins to falter, though; his new family begins offering support, his lesbian classmate provides him community, and he finds himself suspecting that Winter might be the kindred spirit he’s always longed for. As his deadline looms, he finds himself questioning if leaving his life behind is the right choice.

I’m a bisexual and demisexual high school English teacher who cares deeply about teens seeing themselves represented in literature. As my book deals with themes of depression and suicidal ideation, I was lucky enough to have it reviewed by a therapist. I recently won a short story contest and was one of five contestants published in the April 2026 issue of Lavender Rising.

Thank you for your consideration,

[Name]

I’ve done several run-throughs of this over on another sub, but this is my first time posting it here. I did post a pitch a couple of days ago. I’m hoping I’m not breaking the rules by posting this, since it’s a query. If I am, I apologize! I’ll gladly remove this and wait a week. If I’m not, then any feedback would be greatly appreciated!

TW for mentions of suicide

Dear [agent],

Given your interest in [personalization], I’d like to offer for your consideration STRINGS OF FAETE, a YA, LGBTQIA+ contemporary fantasy novel with romantic elements. It’s a stand alone with series potential. Complete at 95,000 words, it combines the anxious monster-hunting and exploration of identity found in CG Drews’ Don't Let the Forest In with the gentler themes of self-acceptance and family found in Mason Deaver’s I Wish You All the Best.

Sixteen-year-old Tatsuki Allen has never been normal. To start, he has strange, recurring dreams of an enchanted past life. He’s also stupid, geeky, and bisexual, all traits his dad says are flaws. After being abandoned and sent to live with a mother he's never met, Tatsuki meets Winter Araneum, a classmate he feels almost magically drawn to. When his attempts to bond with both Winter and his mom fail, Tatsuki, believing he’ll always be alone, makes plans to end his life. He doesn’t expect to accidentally create a faerie ring instead.

A faerie appears and informs Tatsuki he’s a fae reincarnation and presents him with the opportunity to go to her world, where he’ll finally be seen as normal. Before she can leave, she needs to collect the souls of terrifying monsters plaguing the human world. She strikes a bargain: if Tatsuki agrees to help her collect four souls, she'll bring him with her. If he fails, not only will he be ripped to shreds, but it’s possible he’ll turn into a monster himself. He has until the end of the bargain to decide if he’ll go; otherwise, she’ll leave him behind. However, the longer he spends hunting monsters, the more he finds himself bonding with his new family and classmates, Winter included. As the conditions of his deal come to a close, he finds himself questioning if leaving is the right thing to do.

I’m a bisexual and demisexual high school English teacher who cares deeply about teens seeing themselves represented in literature. As my book deals with themes of depression and suicidal ideation, I was lucky enough to have it reviewed by a therapist. I recently won a short story contest and was one of five contestants published in the April 2026 issue of Lavender Rising.

Thank you for your consideration,

[Name]

This is my first time posting here! I signed up for the MG Hub Pitch Party event, which is for children's lit, middle grade, and young adult submissions. The pitch has to be 60 words or less, with no mentioning of comps, word count, or any housekeeping type of stuff. Any thoughts on my attempts here would be appreciated!! I've written four different variations (though they're very similar, with just some wording/phrasing tweaks). I think A might be the strongest, but please tell me if that's not the case! If they're all awful, please don't hesitate to let me know.

Thank you so much!

TW: Mentions of suicide

A. When a queer teen accidentally creates a faerie ring while attempting to drown himself, he discovers he’s a reincarnated fae. To secure a chance to escape to the tolerant, accepting world of the fae, he agrees to help a faerie slay monsters. However, after finding support in friends, family, and his reincarnated past love, he questions if he should leave.

B. When a queer teen accidentally creates a faerie ring while attempting to drown himself, he discovers he’s a reincarnated fae. He’s presented with an opportunity: help a faerie slay monsters, and she’ll take him to the tolerant, accepting world of the fae. However, after finding support in friends, family, and his reincarnated past love, he questions if he should leave.

C. When a queer teen accidentally creates a faerie ring while attempting to drown himself, he discovers that his dreams of a past life are true. Given a chance to leave the human world behind, he agrees to help a faerie slay monsters. However, after finding support in friends, family, and his reincarnated past love, he questions if he should leave.

D. When a queer teen accidentally creates a faerie ring while attempting to drown himself, he discovers that his dreams of a past life are true. A faerie gives him the opportunity to leave his human life behind if he helps her fight monsters. After finding support in friends, family, and a reincarnated past love, he questions if he should stay.

Attempt number five. 🫠 One of these days, someone is going to comment, "Eureka! You've done it!" But until that day, here I am.

My word count on this one is different because I've been finishing up some edits after my last round of betas and cut some stuff. As always, thank you so, so, so much to everyone who has helped me thus far!! I appreciate it so much!

Dear [agent],

Given your interest in [this], I’d like to offer for your consideration STRINGS OF FAETE, a YA, LGBTQIA+ contemporary fantasy novel with series potential. Complete at 93,000 words, it combines the anxious monster-hunting and exploration of identity found in CG Drews’ Don't Let the Forest In with the gentler themes of self-acceptance and family found in Mason Deavor’s I Wish You All the Best.

Sixteen-year-old Tatsuki Allen longs to be normal, but his dad has made it clear that everything about him is wrong: his stupidity, geekiness, and bisexuality. Finding happiness seems impossible after his dad abandons him, shipping him off to live with a mother and half-brother he’s never met. He decides to end his life, but he doesn’t anticipate being stopped through magical intervention. After being rescued by a faerie, Tatsuki learns he’s the reincarnation of a creature of fae, and he’s given the opportunity to obtain what he’s always longed for: acceptance.

After gaining the ability to see monsters, Tatsuki is offered a bargain. The faerie is collecting the souls of these creatures, and if he can help her collect four of them, she says she'll bring him to her world. If he fails, not only will he be ripped to shreds, but it’s possible he’ll turn into a monster himself. His path seems clear, but the longer he spends hunting monsters, the more he finds himself bonding with his new family and classmates, who might be more willing to accept him than he assumed. After befriending Amira, a lesbian who helps him accept his own sexuality, and Winter, a handsome, stoic boy who seems to be just as abnormal as Tatsuki, he starts to question if he really wants to leave his human life behind.

[Bio]

Thank you to everyone who responded to my third attempt! I'm always blown away by how supportive this community is. I did my best to take everyone's advice, and, as a result, my fourth attempt feels super different to me from my previous attempts. I'm definitely worried it might be too dense (I'm at my limit with the word count), or that the wording might be clunky or confusing, so any help would be greatly appreciated! Attempt three can be seen here, if anyone cares to see it:

>[QCrit] STRINGS OF FAETE / YA LGBTQIA+ Contemporary Fantasy/ 97k / 3rd Attempt
by u/StrwbrryTobz in PubTips

Dear [agent],

Given your interest in [this], I’d like to offer for your consideration STRINGS OF FAETE, a YA, LGBTQIA+ contemporary fantasy novel with series potential. Complete at 97,000 words, it combines the anxious monster-hunting and exploration of queer identity found in CG Drews’ Don't Let the Forest In with the gentler themes of self-acceptance and family found in Mason Deavor’s I Wish You All the Best.

When sixteen-year-old Tatsuki Allen attempts to take his life, he doesn’t anticipate being interrupted by a faerie. Claiming he’s the reincarnation of a fae, the faerie, Áine, grants Tatsuki the ability to see monsters that have been sapping the energy of humans. These creatures, once fae, were twisted by despair into monsters after becoming trapped in the human world. Now, Áine is seeking to extract their souls, so they might return to the fae realm and revert to their old selves. As a reincarnated fae, Tatsuki is given frightening news: if he dies as he is now, depressed and suicidal, he’ll become a monster too.

Banishing his despair is the only way to avoid this fate, but that feels impossible. He’s abnormal, stupid, and drowning in loneliness. When Áine offers him the chance to join her mission permanently, he’s faced with a choice: sacrifice his identity and revert back to his original fae incarnation, or try to find hope living as a human. The choice is obvious, but as he fights to save those around him from the monsters preying upon them, he finds himself bonding with his family and making friends with his classmates, including a lesbian who helps him come to terms with his own bisexuality and a cute boy with whom he feels a strange connection. Will these new relationships be strong enough to tether him to his humanity, or will he choose to leave this world behind?

[Bio]

Attempt number three! My previous attempts were labeled as romantasy, but my betas helped me realize that fantasy is a better fit. Thank you to everyone who has helped me thus far!

Dear [agent],

Given your interest in [personalized], I’d like to offer for your consideration STRINGS OF FAETE, a YA, LGBTQIA+ contemporary fantasy novel with series potential. Complete at 97,000 words, it combines the anxious monster-hunting and exploration of identity found in CG Drews’ Don't Let the Forest In with the gentler themes of self-acceptance and family found in Mason Deavor’s I Wish You All the Best.

Sixteen-year-old Tatsuki Allen sucks at being human. He's stupid, awkward, nerdy, and, maybe worst of all (if you asked his dad), bisexual. After he’s caught planning suicide, his dad ships him off to America to live with a mother and half-brother he’s never met. Despite feeling abandoned by his dad, Tatsuki gives finding happiness one last shot…and fails. When he once again tries to end his life, he certainly doesn’t expect to be interrupted by a shapeshifting faerie. Tatsuki’s suicide plans are put on hold after she tricks him into promising to help her. He can’t be too angry at her trickery, though. Not when she gives him an explanation as to why he sucks so much at being human: he was never human to begin with.

Claiming he’s the reincarnation of a fae, she offers Tatsuki the chance to escape to another world. However, he first has to rescue other fae in the human world, so that they might help defeat the evil queen that trapped them there. As he does his best not to get ripped to shreds by various folkloric creatures, he finds himself gradually creating bonds with his family, his classmates, and yeah, maybe even the cute guy in his gym class. As he attempts to leave his human life behind, he might just find out that it’s a life worth living after all, and that suicide was never the answer.

[Bio]