u/StunningPumpkin2120

The Godmother played by Olivia Coleman completely conveys the traits of a narcissistic parent. A good watch but might be triggering for some people.

Sometimes it just hits you, like a tidal wave. As much as I've healed and as strong as I know I am, there are moments when the grief just hits me. I have nobody who would miss me if I died. I am staying for my dog and that's all that matters. After that, I have nothing keeping me here. I don't like this world anymore. Maybe there are better planets out there in space with civilisations who treat each other better. I hope so.

I am so angry and jaded and I just don't know if I will ever get over what my mother did to me. I want to be someone who trusts others and believes things can get better but I feel the complete the opposite. My husband is also a scapegoat child and we both are stressed and angry a lot due to years of being in survival mode. I want to be able to forgive her so I can release myself but I can't. Any advice appreciated. Thank you xx

EDIT: A HUGE THANK YOU to everyone who took the time to respond to me, I am starting to feel much better and have a new perspective on anger and forgiveness which is helping me heal. I felt like I couldn't let go of the anger until I forgave but now I realised I absolutely can separate the two! I can drop the anger, move on and be happy and still withhold forgiveness. This is such an amazing community of people and I often come here to read posts, to help others if I can and learn more about how to heal. If you have gone through this or are currently going through it, you are in the right place. We all have each other's backs here and we all know how horrific this abuse can be. We will heal and we will create the happiness we deserve.

Much love xx

I feel like I had to become tougher than I ever wanted to be in order to deal with my mother's problems. A part of me hates her for that. I feel like I need to reconnect with my femininity again somehow as my only example of it was poisoned from the beginning. I am childfree for obvious reasons and I think I would still be childfree anyway after healing but the damage is so deep that I just don't know who I might have been. Just wondering if anyone else can relate to this feeling. I feel like this is quite a big part of what I need to work on. Thanks for listening.

Many years ago (I think I was either at uni or had just left) my dad fell and hurt himself when he was at work and my mother, who saw this, started throwing things at him when he was lying on the floor and laughed. I wasn't there at the time but my mother told me she did it because 'he is so f*****g stupid.' Needless to say, this is vile behaviour and it is a reminder of how evil she actually is. I just needed to vent as I find her reaction to my dad in pain and needing help, traumatising even now. The way she thought she was justified in doing it haunts me. She really believes she was entitled to hurt him even more because he fell down. No wonder my father had affairs and they ended up divorcing, he must have been miserable, yet all the while she convinced me he was the problem and tried to turn me against him. Thanks for listening.

Was messaged by the mother of a family asking if I would be interested in nannying for her two kids who have autism and learning difficulties as I have SEND experience but when I said I was autistic too and my experience might be an advantage...no reply. Found it a bit hurtful as I took a chance to disclose because I thought I could trust them. I never normally disclose this as I know a lot of employers can be prejudiced but I thought there would be some understanding given the situation. Obviously I can't prove it but this isn't the first time 'shutters have come down' so to speak. Just wondering if anyone can relate to this and how they handle it, thanks.

I always like to think it was 'my choice' but sometimes I feel if I had had a happier family life as a child, I might have wanted a family of my own. Does anyone feel cheated or is it just me? I did think about whether I really wanted children in my thirties and I know I don't have that maternal urge but sometimes I wonder if things could have been different if my childhood had been better. Thanks for listening.