u/Stunning_Lead_898

I was cooking dinner and got hit with a creative epiphany. I humbly present my divorce album prediction: Track 5 (Happily)

Verse 1
White dress hanging on the door like a question
Car still running in the drive, engine's confession
Everybody's toasting like they know something I don't
Bar's too loud to hear myself say I do or maybe or won't
I keep checking my own face in the window glass
Waiting for the feeling like a train that already passed

Chorus
Have you ever been happy, or just close enough to call it?
Standing in the good part, still afraid to fall in it
Everyone's sworn to secrecy, and there's no one left to tell me
When you know, you know—but how do you know
If this is the peak, then why's my heart still asking why
Maybe happy's just a moment that you're too scared to let by
Do I need the happy, or just the happily (ever after)

Verse 2
Standing in the garden, finally my day to bloom
Everyone's got a piece of me they bought a ticket to consume
Somewhere in the crowd there's a stranger with my bag
Petals never got to open, just got picked before they had
I'm the flower and the funeral, I'm the bride and the going, going, gone
Twenty thousand people watching me become somebody's swan song

Bridge
I'm in the aisle, waiting for it to feel right
Can't stop now, can't turn around in all this white
Maybe it comes later, maybe it comes after (ever after)
Maybe you just walk until the feeling comes after (ever after)
Everyone's sworn to secrecy, and there's no one left to tell me
When you know, you know—but how do you know

--

I stopped at two verses, but Taylor if you use this I want songwriting credits. hahahaha

Obligatory car and bar, plus a reference to the MSG raffle tickets and the NDAs. I fully expect her to sell some bullshit about how she realized that even though she got the happily ever after, she wasn't every happy

Hi all.

Our bub moved to kinship after 13 months in our home—came to us straight from birth. Long story short, this was not the ideal move that we dreamt of where we would be well-positioned to support him and his family in the long run. They've shut us out, and we're trying to honor that while desperate to know he's okay, picking up the pieces of our own hearts, and reeling from the emotional roller coaster of the last few months.

The grief is dense and the silence is heavy and, while my therapist is great, I'm looking for a support group or resource for foster parents who have experienced similar situations.

I'm in PA. I found a virtual support group in OR. Curious if anyone else has any resources.

Hello it's me again. I previously posted about how we had to fight tooth and nail to get transition visits for our kiddo. At that time, I finally got permission to coordinate an informal plan, then kinship said no, and I was sad. But we eventually (contentiously) got them court-ordered by the judge. Unfortunately, it cost all of the relational equity we had built with bub's family. We are working on rebuilding that now.

Quick recap: our foster son's (just turned 1) family member was approved as a kinship resource. He's been in a single placement since birth, so we requested that he meet her before the move to establish some familiarity. That did... not go over well. What should have been a straightforward transition plan turned into a very dramatic cancellation of a chaotic/last-minute move (cancellation prompted by state attorney, not us—we didn't even have time to react let alone escalate), and then judge got involved.

The court ordered 4 "successful" transition visits, then the move. Visit plans were made and the now-approved-and-real move was scheduled for mid-May.

Since then, we've had:

• 1 visit
• 5 canceled/failed visits

We're now almost a month past the planned move date and still only have one completed visit. Not for nothing, we live in the same city.

What I'm struggling with is that the visits were ordered specifically because of concerns about attachment, familiarity, and development. And not just mine! Court was rough, but the state lawyer and GAL pushed for these for the same reasons, and the judge agreed. But the moment the first visit failed, development seemed to leave the conversation entirely. Now the only goal appears to be eventually completing four visits, regardless of how long it takes or how much actual contact occurs in between. I asked specifically about this and was told that the kinship resource can reschedule as many times as needed, and they hope to achieve completion before his next court date at the end of this month. They "hope" to accomplish 4 visits in 10 weeks.

At the same time, every time I try to raise the developmental concern, it gets interpreted as opposition to the move itself. We have consistently supported reunification/kinship and vocally advocated for him with family. We have bent over backwards to accommodate poor planning and last-minute changes, maintain contact with incarcerated family members, facilitate continuity of care, and literally all of our conversations are child-centered. I've never said a bad word about any family member to anyone in the system, even when the workers/lawyers are venting to me about the family. I cleared my work calendar to try to get all four visits in one week and provide transport to/from, then those got rescheduled. Yet it feels like we are treated as the enemy simply because he's still with us, not with kinship.

So I guess my real question is this: is there a way to effectively advocate for the child's developmental needs at this stage without being seen as trying to block the move? Is there someone I should be talking to or something I should be saying differently? Or is this one of those situations where I've already made the argument, the decision-makers have heard it, and I just have to accept that the process is going to unfold the way it's going to unfold?

We don't have an ombuds. Our options are an oversight board which is effectively only to complain about the social worker's actions, or to appeal the move altogether through a formal process with legal representation. We don't have a CASA for him either.