u/StupidSexyHagrid

There's going to be a lot, so buckle in. Just as a precursor we're both AuDHD. I work monday-friday with some WFH days and he stays home.

Today my husband and I got into an argument that started as something small and quickly snowballed. I was working from home and we had just finished lunch together when I was heading back to my computer to finish up some work. When he asked what I was doing I responded with going over to my computer and when he asked to do what I said 'whatever the heck I wanted'

Granted, I said this in jest but having a touch of the tism tends to make my tone sound a lot more gruff than it is. This started off our argument and I ended up doing my best to apologize. However I had mentioned that after work, since I had a bunch of meetings that morning that I wanted to take some time to game. I will admit that I have a bad habit of blowing away weekends gaming and not getting things accomplished around the house, but after spending the week masking my battery tends to be drained and I tend to hyperfocus on gaming. He made a comment about how I needed to do more around the house and that working from home doesn't take as much energy as going into the office and that kinda really bothered me.

For context, I'm typically out at work from 6am to 6pm, I walk the dog twice a day, do all the grocery shopping and cooking, load the dishwasher, clean up after dinner and do my best to get the entire house tidy most weekends. However since I experience a lot of burnout I tend to miss things such as wiping down the counter, not throwing out trash, leaving my socks and clothing on the floor, ect. I will admit that I very much need to see all my tasks through but I do tend to struggle with it a lot.

He tells me he does a lot around the house during the week picking up after me, cleaning, tidying, ect and that it's exhausting. The only problem is, I don't see it. It's not for a lack of wanting to, when he does something and it's very visible I do my utmost to praise him and ensure that he knows I witnessed it. But for the most part, the clothes I leave out on the floor tend to stay there, if I forget to put something away several days in a row he constantly reminds me until I eventually do, and we're both guilty of leaving some trash on the counters.

I grew up in a household where if something was messy or bothered you, it took less energy to just deal with it than it did to get upset at someone for not finishing a chore and communicating that to them. If there was something in the way or something was bugging you, clean it up and deal with it. He grew up in a household where everyone took care of all their own stuff all the time. I personally don't mind at all tidying up after him, I don't mind picking up towels or trash he leaves out, I don't get annoyed or angry if something of his in my way. I just deal with it and move on.

I'm really struggling to get over this hangup. I feel as though we both tidy up after eachother but to him it weighs on him a lot more than it does me. He feels very strongly that someone should always deal with their own mess and not make it someone else's problem. While I agree with this on principle, I really have no problem picking up some of his things if he leaves them laying about. I can't say the same for him.

I'm well aware that I should be tidying up after myself, I definitely should be doing more of these things to keep our place clean but I can't help but feeling like wiping the counter down if I forgot to after I made dinner for both of us, shouldn't be a big deal and should be part of a collective effort to keep the place clean and tidy.

What are the best ways I can resolve some of these issues? I don't want him to have to constantly remind me to pick things up, I need a method to remind myself. I also want to do more to see the things that he does for me because I genuinely struggle to see everything he does. Any advice on this is appreciated.

We run bilingual broadcasts and I'm looking for a dual channel graphics generator that is capable of outputting two seperate video feeds simultaneously.

We have a Ross Carbonite that I want to overlay two feeds as keys on our english and french MEs. I reached out to Ross about their expression system but the cost is astronomical and way out of our budget.

Ideally I'd like to find one system that can run both feeds at the same time and be able to be triggered at the same time to reduce the number of devices needed.

I have an AJA GEN10 that I'm looking to get introduced into our system. Currently our cameras run into a Blackmagic Talkback into a Blackmagic 40x40. The same 40x40 feeds our Ross Carbonite.

I plan on running a feed from the GEN10 into the 40x40 and the Carbonite ref inputs but where should I introduce it into the cameras? Will the 40x40 send the Reference signal down to the cameras on the return feed to the Talkback or should I run a second GEN10 and have it set the same as the cameras.