Desirable enough to be kissed, undesirable to be kept
Always the writer, never the muse
Always the artist, never the art
Always the one looks at the sky, never the one to be looked at
Always lusted, never loved
Always the one to talk to, never the one to be walked with
Always left, never right..
Almost enough but not enough to be with
Somehow , somewhere loved, yet always unloved
i always wanted bcom hons, srcc to be specific but normalization wasn't in my favour and that's obv because i didn't deserve it and it was solely my fault probably. The marks i got weren't enough for bcom hons in nc or South campus.i live in North delhi. So i opted for eng hons instead because i really thought it'd be fine but it's not. I got ramjas in first round upgraded it to lsr in second round. This is a nightmare as a commerce student with maths doing eng hons. 2 days and i already feel like i don't want to travel 4 hrs everyday. I'd wake up at 7 and come back home at 7 at night and that honestly sucks.i don't want lsr eng hons and i don't belong
I can't take a full year drop because that isn't allowed plus cuet is a lil luck based so we can't be sure either. If there's a senior here please guide me
I just want to die so bad. People keep hope where it's genuinely possible for things to improve. Something that will never happen with me. The trajectory of my life up until now has proved it to me again and again of how miserable my life is and it's always gonna stay that way.
My head keeps hurting like anything just thinking about this life makes me want to die so bad
I don't know anymore
You promised you'd take me to see the cherry blossoms someday
Together, holding hands
In the moment, the next day and what came next
As i stare at the clock, i realize forever was a lie.
You withered without me, leaving me behind
To the stars, something i could not possibly touch
Leaving me with your memories, bittersweet
Countless therapies, sessions and everything else i could possibly do to forget the grief.
Yet i am helpless, surrounded by never ending suffering
Who's gonna hold me the way you once did
Your hands, their warmth lingers, every time leaving me in agony
Something as beautiful as cheery blossoms became just another place
Because to tell you the truth, it really was a joke when i said "I'd forget you within 2 days"
My happiness lied within you, your favorite places, from start till the end, today tomorrow and forever
Sometimes i wonder, when i come to the other side, to the stars or wherever you are..
Will you come to take me with you or perhaps
Hate me for looking at the seasons the way I once looked at you.
His touch that made me forget all my worries
at the moment that was all that could matter
His lips upon mine, felt like truly we were intertwined
As his hands touched my waist i forgot myself
But how do i explain I've been losing myself since he's not by my side
The bed echoes his name, the songs i write
I feel this deep agony that i feel, for someone i held once would never be mine
I so wanna be held once again the way he did
I wanna be kissed again with as much passion as he had when it came to me
I just miss that feeling
I know no end to this misery that i have for that someone
I deeply want to hug him and tell him how much i miss him
To be held by him, to be able to look at him
That was a pleasure i had.. Nothing would ever come close to that
Only the touch that i feel when held by someone i once called "mine"
I want to feel the warmth that i once felt upon holding you close
Do you feel the same you did back then with that new person you chose
Those winter nights when we stayed up late and shared our sufferings
Why has it changed, where are you, did you replace it with agony
The sun still shines, the moon looks the same but how do i explain it..why has it changed?
I want to hold you up so close again as i did once.. It breaks me to see you holding that someone
Constellations lied, your promises were fake
I really yearn to be hear you call me by my name again