u/Substantial-Invite83

Going through a divorce with my wife who I've been with for 18 years. Things have been going bad for really long time and honestly we should have started this process years ago. My biggest fear was my whole life was going to fall apart. I would lose connection with my kids. I'd lose all my money and I never find anyone else to love me again. But, a year and a half into this process and things aren't that bad. After the initial hurt and pain, me and my ex were able to have a friendly relationship as we move through this process, she said she's finding her spark again and I'm so happy for her. I was able to get a bigger apartment so my kids can stay with me half the time, it's not everything they wanted but we're having a lot of fun and things haven't changed too much from when I was living in the house with them. I'm dating a beautiful woman who loves me and is giving me all the things that I was missing in my marriage. She's a business owner and a paid and published bikini model. When I started this process I was certain my life was going to end but things aren't half bad.

My (36M) birthday was a few months ago and I took a trip to Central America for the weekend and brought my GF (31F) with me. The past year has been incredibly hard, I have been dealing with the separation and ending of an 18-year marriage and learning how to still be present in my two kids lives during this time. My birthday trip was about a year after the separation from my ex and I was really looking forward to the trip and quite honestly really needed it.

I met my girlfriend a month after I moved out and we talked off and on for about 6 months before things started to become more serious and we started dating. By the time my birthday trip came around, we had known each other for about 8 or 9 months and I thought it would be fun to bring her with me on a short weekend trip even though it was out of the country. I was looking forward to a fun and relaxing weekend, just getting out, having fun and forgetting about my stresses and worries.

We landed on a Friday and we're a little jet lagged so ended up just sleeping in the rest of the day. Saturday was my actual birthday and we had a full itinerary of things to do but the morning when we got up she was distant and had an attitude the rest of the day. She was clearly upset all day but refused to tell me what was going on or what happened. Barely talked to me and didn't sit near me or communicate with me during any of the trips and excursions throughout the day. It wasn't till late that night. When I found out from my friend who I learned she had been talking to all day she had watched some Instagram reel about a man who went back to his ex and she was in her feelings all day because of a video that had nothing to do with me. And I haven't done or said anything that would give her any reason to think I would leave her and go be with my ex.

I spent my entire birthday trying to cater to her and fix her attitude instead of enjoying myself and my time with her. And it really irritated me that my friend who I've known for 10 years didn't say anything to me until I reached out at the end of the day to tell him how frustrated and upset I was. That was when I found out that she had been texting him all day and he had been trying to calm her down but he never thought to say anything to me and let me know what was going on. I've known him for over 10 years, my kids call him Uncle. He has known her for only 6 months and he said he didn't want to betray her trust by telling me how she was feeling.

A couple of months have gone by and I still don't fully know how I feel or what to do. I'm still friends with him but I don't talk to him the way I used to and I no longer give him the same access to my life because it's clear to me we have different thoughts on what friendship means. She has apologized multiple times since then and we are still together, But I don't know how to handle things moving forward. I still get upset when I think about everything that happened. I had a lot of expectations for that weekend and it was ruined. In this new chapter of my life I want to travel and do the things I always wanted to do with a partner right there by my side. But now I have worries and second guess the thought of traveling with her, especially for something that is meant to celebrate me.

I'm not the type to hold grudges, but once you have hurt me I will never put you in that same position where you will have a chance to hurt me like that again. But I don't know how to continue this relationship while still protecting myself.

My girlfriend and I have been dating officially for 3 months but have been courting each other for 9 before that. We met shortly after I separated from my wife and have been taking things really slow as I work through this process. My ex-wife and I met in high school and have been together a little over 18 years and we have two kids together, one in high school and one in middle school.

My ex struggled with health issues ever since our youngest was born, but a few years ago I finally got a job making enough money that we could live off one income so I had her quit her job and become a SAHM to focus on her health. Because of that now that we're separated she has been out of work for years and her career field doesn't pay enough to cover her current lifestyle. Additionally she was recently diagnosed with Lupus which explains the health issues she has had for all these years. Because of the diagnosis we have postponed filling the divorce so she can stay on my health insurance and get the care she needs.

I'm covering all the bills for my old house with the ex and my apartment (my kids split time between both of us but spend more time in the home they grew up in with her). Things are a little tight but I can still live comfortably. I can't do everything my GF wants to do but I'm able to do enough and help her out from time to time as well. The problem is that my GF has started asking questions about when will my ex start paying for herself and I heard her tell a friend she can't be with someone who is still playing husband. It seems like this is bothering her more the longer our relationship lasts but she dismisses it when I try to talk to her.

All I've done is pay the bills for the house where my kids live and I don't feel like I've crossed any line. Me and the ex have a good co-parenting situation and only really talk about the kids. But also my ex was there when I had nothing and helped me grow to a point where I can support two houses so I won't let her struggle/become homeless if I can help it. I don't know how to have this conversation with my GF or how to know if I should just leave.