u/Successful-Boot-1526

Using a throwaway account as some friends know my main one. 

I need to know AIO or not?

I (35m) have been with my wife (34F) for 15 years, have 3 kids, a home and both work full time. 

Almost 2 years ago now, my wife was going through a bit of a mental health issue, almost like a midlife crisis. She was struggling with being "mum" instead of being her, if that makes sense. She went for a few nights out with her girlfriends and her sister. Nothing crazy, and I was happy for her to let off some steam. 

As that seemed to be all calming down and things were getting back to normal, we had a family party at our house. All her family were over, there were a few drinks (nothing crazy, i think my wife maybe had 2 glasses of wine, i don't drink) . My wife's phone was connected to Alexa to play music. 

Everyone went out for a smoke/vape while I stayed inside with her sister as she's pregnant. Whilst talking to her, I grabbed my wife's phone to skip the song that was playing and noticed she had 2 WhatsApp notifications from a number I didn't recognise, and a profile picture of a man I didn't recognise. 

I have never looked through my wife's phone, never had a reason too, but in that moment, I felt I had to check what this was. Put her pin in and it was incorrect. She'd changed it. 

I took a picture of the notification to get the number.

When she came back in a stood near her phone and as she went to pick it up and noticed the notifications, she quickly swiped them away. 

I asked her "who was that"

She responded with "just a friend from high school".

I didn't push any further as we were surrounded my family, so i went outside to cool off. 

When everybody left, I sat her down and asked her to explain who he was.

She told me he was an old school friend, they started talking on Instagram, then moved to WhatsApp. It was just friendly conversation, someone for her to speak to that could give an outside perspective. I asked her to show me the conversations. She had already deleted them all and blocked him. 

I asked why she changed her pin. She says "oh you remember, when our youngest,4 at the time managed to unlock my phone so i changed the password."

Which i don't believe, no 4yr old could remember a 6-digit pin, certainly not my 4yr old. 

We spoke a number of times about this but I still keep thinking about this. Here's my main issues that i keep going over

1. just why, tbh
2. Why delete it all if it was innocent?
3. why, when i messaged then tried to call him did he instantly block me? 
4. This guy lives about 400 miles away

Am I overthinking this or am I totally justified? its been 2 years, i still cant stop. I feel like i need answers, but shes deleted all evidence and hes blocked me. 

Using a throwaway account as some friends know my main one. 

I (35m) have been with my wife (34F) for 15 years, have 3 kids, a home and both work full time. 

Almost 2 years ago now, my wife was going through a bit of a mental health issue, almost like a midlife crisis. She was struggling with being "mum" instead of being her, if that makes sense. She went for a few nights out with her girlfriends and her sister. Nothing crazy, and I was happy for her to let off some steam. 

As that seemed to be all calming down and things were getting back to normal, we had a family party at our house. All her family were over, there were a few drinks (nothing crazy, i think my wife maybe had 2 glasses of wine, i don't drink) . My wife's phone was connected to Alexa to play music. 

Everyone went out for a smoke/vape while I stayed inside with her sister as she's pregnant. Whilst talking to her, I grabbed my wife's phone to skip the song that was playing and noticed she had 2 WhatsApp notifications from a number I didn't recognise, and a profile picture of a man I didn't recognise. 

I have never looked through my wife's phone, never had a reason too, but in that moment, I felt I had to check what this was. Put her pin in and it was incorrect. She'd changed it. 

I took a picture of the notification to get the number.

When she came back in a stood near her phone and as she went to pick it up and noticed the notifications, she quickly swiped them away. 

I asked her "who was that"

She responded with "just a friend from high school".

I didn't push any further as we were surrounded my family, so i went outside to cool off. 

When everybody left, I sat her down and asked her to explain who he was.

She told me he was an old school friend, they started talking on Instagram, then moved to WhatsApp. It was just friendly conversation, someone for her to speak to that could give an outside perspective. I asked her to show me the conversations. She had already deleted them all and blocked him. 

I asked why she changed her pin. She says "oh you remember, when our youngest,4 at the time managed to unlock my phone so i changed the password."

Which i don't believe, no 4yr old could remember a 6-digit pin, certainly not my 4yr old. 

We spoke a number of times about this but I still keep thinking about this. Here's my main issues that i keep going over

1. just why, tbh
2. Why delete it all if it was innocent?
3. why, when i messaged then tried to call him did he instantly block me? 
4. This guy lives about 400 miles away

Am I overthinking this or am I totally justified? its been 2 years, i still cant stop. I feel like i need answers, but shes deleted all evidence and hes blocked me.