u/Successful_Sky_7369

TRIGGER WARNING

The following text contains material that may be harmful or traumatizing to some audiences.

Anywayy, love y'all, hope you enjoy :D

***

"Silent night... Holy night.."

Mum sings yet again.
She thinks it helps. And it does, really- Shirley's sobs cease, Anthony's lips are twitching up in a soft smile. I hate it. I hate the song. It reminds me of Daddy- but it helps them. And as long as it does, I could sit here trying to remember Daddy's face for hours.

It doesn't drown out the bombs. It never does. It doesn't drown out the pain we both feel, knowing that Peter and Daddy are out there right now, fighting for the country. For us. We're supposed to be proud, and happy. Happy that our family is helping out with the war.

Last Christmas, Shirley wanted a doll. This year she only asks for them to come home. I wish she still believed in small wishes, ones you could hold. But I couldn't buy her the doll either. I couldn't give her comfort, answers, or the safety she deserves. Not then. Not now. Not ever.

BOOM.

The sound- all too familiar by now, rings out again. Mum's voice cracks, Shirley cries out again. And even though he's trying his best to hide it, I can see Anthony's eyes fill up.

Why must it be us- what did we do to deserve this?
There's no one to answer my pleas.

I wish Daddy and my dear brother were never called up. I wish they wrote more often. I wish the war never happened. I wish we could all just live in peace, forever and ever.
I wish, I wish, I wish.

But it'll never happen, will it? I can only pray as I sit there, staying strong for my mother and my younger siblings as these terrible feelings rising in my gut threaten to spill. Pray to the Lord to please forgive me for whatever I have done to deserve this. To keep them safe, all of them.

I hear Mum's voice take over yet again.

"All is calm.. all is bright..."

Nothing is calm. Nothing is ever bright. Never anymore.

But I'll listen. And I won't object. As long as it keeps Shirley from crying again. As long as Anthony keeps smiling.

But he doesn't. He doesn't anymore. Shirley can never cry anymore.

"HE'S BREATHING, HE'S BREATHING AGAIN!"

That's not Mum, or Shirley, or-

"Dan, Dan, can you hear me?!"

Stop, please stop, please stop it all.

"He's opening his eyes!"

Cry again, Shirley, please, just let me hear your sweet, sweet voice.

Smile again, Anthony. You could even break down and I'd hold you, let me just hold you.

Take me to Mama, please, I want Daddy. I'll do anything, just please-

And yet, I sit up. I watch them carry the lifeless body of my little soldier away.

They don't, in truth. But I see it. I see it everywhere now.

Because in truth, I was the one singing the song all along. I was the one smiling to myself, the fool I am, as the bombs crashed around me. As people screamed. 

Because in truth, they died a week ago. Because in truth, everything I have ever lived for died with them.

(Wattpad- btwTT2gud, check it out if you enjoyed this read!)

Ismay was the chairman of the White Star Line, the tycoon that owned the RMS Titanic. I think a lot of his hate is fueled by the 'captain goes down with the ship' ideology.
Of course, he wasn't the captain of the Titanic, but culturally, Ismay was viewed as the 'co-captain' of the voyage. While Smith chose to go down with the Titanic, Ismay stepped into Collapsible Lifeboat C on the starboard side.

He made it out alive, but his life ended the moment he stepped off of the Titanic.

His reputation would go on to be brutally butchered by public media. He was forced into isolation by the common and upper crowd alike, having to survive with trauma, survivor's guilt, and extreme hate.
Even today, his image is made to be some sort of 'meme'. The trademark of coward captain.

It's human nature to put oneself first. Had anybody advocating against him been in that situation (which, I'm sure, most of them can't even fathom) they'd have done worse to live. I don't get the Bruce Ismay hate. Unless you willingly blocked something that could've many others survive/harmed others in any way, then you putting your life first is ENTIRELY justified- which Ismay didn't even do. He actually spent hours loading lifeboats, and only got into the last one on that side (when there were no other passengers in sight). No person with rational thinking would've chosen to face a cold, horrible death for pure symbolic reasons.

Cameron's Titanic also really fueled the modern hate. I feel like his image could've been cleared largely by now. Just another reason I won't be watching the Titanic anytime soon. If you make a movie on a real historical event, then don't demonize real, historic characters who faced trauma. Actually, my wording is completely wrong here. These are not your characters. These are real people who faced enough hate to fill up eight times of your whole fucking existence. That seriously pisses me off. Anybody who shit talks a man should do their research first.

It's easy to run your mouth when you're sitting in a warm, cozy room, reading the news or watching the T.V. Public figures who push forward hate against people who've survived tragedies should be put in those same situations.
Then we'll see who sinks with their ship.