u/Such-Raccoon1481

My BIL is the opposite of a provider, he is a hardcore freeloading mooch and so is most of his family. He and my younger sister have been married for 8 years and they have two elementary aged kids. During covid he was laid off, and has made zero attempts to find a job. Originally they made an agreement that he would be a stay at home husband/stay at home dad until he found something else, lo and behold he didn’t even try to find another job. Now their kids aren’t even home.

He has never taken care of the kids, he never takes them to any of their appointments, doesn’t want to deal with them when they’re sick, and does nothing with them when they’re home. He also doesn’t do anything around the house, he sits at home all day every day playing games. He does absolutely nothing. My sister is now working two jobs, six days a week, and carries the entire house load and kids because her trash ass husband refuses to be an adult. My sister is always asking us for money because she’s barely making ends meet and I feel awful for her. Their relationship is super strained because he doesn’t want to do anything and is a lazy bum who takes after the rest of his family. Not to mention he’s just a prick, he says he just has a blunt tough love personality but it’s actually a cover up to be a douche bag. He is the most judgmental dude I’ve ever met and treats my sister like shit.

This weekend she and her kids stayed at my house, and for the first time in god knows how long my sister had a heavy breakdown. The ONLY reason she has stayed is because of the kids but she is at the end and wants a divorce.

My family is ready to fully support her in whatever way possible, but how can I be here for her and her kids emotionally? If any of you have gotten a divorced what’s something that you wished you got support wise?

Just need to rant about my in laws!

“We never get to see the kids, it’s not fair your family gets to see them and we don’t”, right you never see them because you refuse to come over, won’t ever find a time for us to go over there, don’t care enough to show up to any of their events, and can’t ever be bothered to even pick up the phone and call them… so yes my family sees them all the time because they actually put in the effort and show up. Even in my pregnancies, it was like pulling teeth to get them to even respond to messages we sent.

My MIL is constantly whining on Facebook that my kids don’t even recognize her but will conveniently leave out the reason why 🙄 we don’t even bother trying with her anymore. If she doesn’t have a relationship with my kids that’s on her.