I’m scared of Samsara
I am scared it might be impossible to escape the cycle of samsara. I have a hard time believing in karma, as it is faith driven. I feel like karma was invented to prevent us from going crazy with the realization of the true reality of the universe/samsara.
I feel like if we are born from non-existence, what’s to say we won’t be born again after death. As an animal or plant etc. I feel like true none existence is an impossibility, because it would inherently need a subject, which contradicts itself. Essentially, once you are dead, you cannot stay in a state of non-existence permanently. Some people compare death to being under anesthesia, but I would argue that it’s only possible to experience “nothingness” precisely because you are still alive, because there is still a subject. But the true annihalation of the self would render you back the state you were in before you were born, allowing for rebirth.
This type of logic doesn’t necessitate a soul or a belief in god, but it’s a profound and scientific mediation on the nature of consciousness and non existence. It wouldn’t be a linear reincarnation of a continuity of your “self” in any objective way, but rather a new creature all together, except that it is still experienced from your first person perspective. It’s the ultimate manifestation of being born again, meaning that we can’t ever escape the cycle of samsara so long as there are living creatures on the planet.
This gives me tremendous existential dread as I don’t want to be reborn as an animal with infinite suffering, especially anything in the sea.
Has anyone come to this realization? How do you cope with the dread? Does it make any logical sense to you? How can I have faith in karma, when there is no confirmation it is real beyond religious thinking?