u/Sudden-Club2195

So I remember back when I used to go to aftercare every day after school, I had no friends my age (F7). That being said I did have an older friend who was in the 6th grade (F12). Having this friend made me even more trusting of older kids so when my other friend who was in 7th grade (M13) started hanging out with me I thought “Cool older kids like me!!” After having been friends with him for about 3 months he started talking to me about his private area and how he masturbates. He’d make jokes about his private part all day long and once he even asked me if i wanted to see it, luckily I had enough sense to know that you’re supposed to say no when someone asks you that. He’d also tell me to sit in the back of the buss with him if my other friend hadn’t gotten on yet and he’d get really touchy with me. He’d touch my thigh, rub my back, pat my head, and he’d even tickle me sometimes, once i remember he even grabbed my butt and i had to move his hand and scoot over for him to let go. He did stuff like this for three years (He got held back in 7th grade) and somehow didn’t get in trouble which is the part that makes me so unsure if this was an issue or not, surely if what he was doing was really inappropriate someone would’ve reported it, right? Even my friend didn’t do much about it. I told one of my current friends about it and she said this counted as grooming and that I should tell my mom, but he was a kid too so that doesn’t sound right?

When I was about 3 years old, my cousin (who was maybe 7 or 8) asked me to take my clothes off if he took his off. I didn’t think much of it — I was 3, so it just seemed like a game or something so i said yes. Then he took his underwear off, and I suddenly felt really hesitant. I told him i didn’t want to take my underwear off, but then he kept pressuring me until I felt weird about saying no, so I just went along with it. The actual act is a blur now, but I remember running upstairs, naked, crying, and telling my mom what had happened.

Then, when I was about 10 (he was 14 or 15 now) I finally asked him what had happened that night — hoping he might have a clearer memory. He confirmed that we did have sex. Now I'm 13 and trying to figure out how to name this. I struggle with whether it's "rape" or "abuse" because I technically "agreed" at first and he was also a minor, only a few years older than me.

I guess I'm just looking for validation or perspective. Is this considered COCSA? Am I overreacting? And if anyone has resources — therapists, support groups, helplines, or advice on whether to talk to him about it now — I'd really appreciate it.
Thanks for reading.

Edit: I just remembered another incident that happened like two years ago. Me and this cousin were both watching a show on his phone, we were sharing a chair and like 10 minutes in he put his hand on my upper thigh (near my crotch) and squeezed. I freaked out and shot up out of the chair. Looking back that might have been an overreaction if that were the only thing that happened but as soon as i got up he started apologizing and begging me not to tell my mom which set off every alarm in my head. I didn’t want to get him in trouble so i told him i wouldn’t tell (i wish i would’ve.) I’m wondering if that was an overreaction too, seeing as i didn’t even understand why i reacted the way i did. I don’t think this incident would be considered COCSA but maybe it shows some sort of behavior pattern?