Worried about myself after a psycotic episode
Hi, so recentley like about 3 weeks ago i got discharged from a mental health hospital, i was in a very bad psycotic episode, this was my second one at 22 and my first one i was 18. I was in there for 9 months which is crazy. But anyways, i wont say im really healed from it, im struggling a lot rn actually, its like im becoming someone i dont like. I react negativley to things a lot, im not completley blaming myself because i know ive been through a lot but yeah, still aware. Im very depressed, i have a lot of intrusive thoughts which usually happen after an episode and a traumatic time. Im really struging to be my nice bubbly self because its like i have a perception now of everything being negative, and sometimes i dont even trust my family. Ive been getting nightmares almost every night. And one question thats been on my mind is how do i stop my mental ilness from making me a moody, not nice person to be around? How do i recover from whats happened this year? My episode was very scary, like worst than the first, and then the hospital was very scary, a lot of bad things happened there that time and its scarred me, i really dont think that enviroment was good for me. I know i need to tell someone irl whats going on, but sometimes my mum just reacts bad to these things now even if shes suppoeted me all the way. Its like people dont know what to say and tbh neither do i. Please leave some advice if u have any
Thank you