u/Sufficient_Ad9116

relapse after a supposed wellness retreat, and my Q (dad) has been lying to me saying that it’s his anxiety meds that make him act the way he is when he’s drunk. i am no longer asking him and getting into fights to get the truth anymore, i trust myself and my intuition. i don’t want to cut contact and i still care about him deeply, but how do i learn to be indifferent to his lying and not take it as personally?

edit - on the flip-side, he says that i need to be more caring and understanding of his situation, but how can i when he is so blatantly dishonest? i understand he’s going through a tough time, but i am so hurt all the time.

To the UK PhD folks, how do you budget your stipend? Super excited to start this September on an ESRC project, but not sure what a realistic budget looks like.

For context, it will be in Glasgow and I expect to work a few hours a week part time :)

Sober for two weeks, relapse just before my graduation, refuses to do rehab, always lying and making me feel like i'm the awful one for even asking. I see no way out of this but taking a step back from my relationship with him (Q is dad). This is so much easier for me to say than actually do. He seems committed to make me miserable and I am trying my hardest to not let him.

EDIT: I've also noticed a pattern of relapses and binge episodes always happening during moments important to me or my mum (graduation, exams, birthdays, when i receive any good news, mother's day, etc)-- makes it seem so much more malicious and really makes me wonder how he always manages to ruin any good thing happening to us. Sorry this is just a long vent. I am tired, I feel hollow and trapped.

received an offer recently while i'm still on the reserve list for another, should I tell the offer institution/ supervisor that i'm still waiting to hear back from the reserve spot?

First time posting here, my dad has been drinking for as long as I can remember, but has become exponentially worse in the last three years when we moved. He is a mean drunk and I can't reconcile his behaviour with how hes is sober. Parents are now getting a divorce because my mum cannot take it anymore (understandably) and I finally got through to my dad about rehab. Agreed to pay the deposit, cut the call, got drunk right after. I realise that I need to set some boundaries about my relationship with him but he really has noone except me. I am the lowest I have ever been and my partner keeps saying I need to prioritise myself. How do you set boundaries and stick to them when you're so worried?