Yes, you are allowed to be WITH your own children when they visit grandparents.
No, it isn’t any more “good for them” than if you weren’t there.
No, your kid’s development won’t suffer just because they aren’t spending hours alone with grandma & grandpa.
Yes, your parenting style is totally fine.
Yes, their guilt tripping says more about them, than you.
No, you aren’t being too protective because you aren’t preventing them from visiting their grandchildren.
Yes, the situation is more awkward than it needs to be because your parents are selfishly gaslighting you into doing things their way.
Yes, you are the parent not them. They had their kids already.
No, you don’t need to feel bad. You didn’t do anything wrong just because you attachment parent securely and happen to have a preference for how you do that.
Excitement of course. And I’m actually not afraid of them being out of a hospital setting. And I’m strangely ok with the fact this is their birth story (I trust God with that one). But I feel hollow, like our story hasn’t started yet. Like being home is when it begins. And I’m not sure that’s how I should feel? Like, do I mentally include the past 100 days of NICU in my heart, or try and process and forget it? Sounds ruthless I know, but it’s been brutal, and we’re not out of the weeds yet, by a long shot. I guess I just feel like I don’t know where to go from here, so much so I don’t even know how to ask this question properly. Like it honestly feels like my babies are only now going to be delivered, because they’ll be home. Or like I was never pregnant (because they were delivered at 25 weeks), and now boom there’s going to be 2 babies in my house. I don’t feel depressed at all, or even sad, just like deeply confused…. lol this is so weird. I know it sounds like dissociation, but it doesn’t feel like that either. I think it just feels like my life paused when I found out there were birth complications, and will continue once they come home, but because so much of my life was just “grin and bare it until this NICU part is over”, I’m having a hard time even remembering most of it. Trauma is weird like that. Like the past 100 days of my life feel deleted. I’m happy to pick up the pieces and keep going for sure! But where do I start? 😅🌷
Enfamil is to MacDonalds, as Kendamil is to a home cooked meal. Objectively.
And yes, I know Enfacare has increased calories, calcium, and phosphorus. But so confused why we can’t just give feeds more often for more calories (rather than starving them with feeds every 3 hours — completely different from how babies actually eat with cluster feeding), and just supplement with calcium & phosphorus as needed.
13 I have set my rainbow in the clouds, and it will be the sign of the covenant between me and the earth.
14 Whenever I bring clouds over the earth and the rainbow appears in the clouds,
15 I will remember my covenant between me and you and all living creatures of every kind. Never again will the waters become a flood to destroy all life.
16 Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth.”
17 So God said to Noah, “This is the sign of the covenant I have established between me and all life on the earth.”
How many times a day did you pump (realistically). Was it truly every 2 hours or can you relocate by pumping every 4?
- pumping every few hours
- drinking lots of water
- different flange sizes
- mother’s milk tea
- chamomile tea
- oatmeal
- coconut water
- moringa
- lactation cookies
- spinach
- getting enough sleep
- getting enough to eat
- manual pumping
- digital pumping (various strengths)
- self-expression
- more skin to skin time
Is there anything left or is it just time to give up?
The weird thing is I had 2 litres/day a few months ago. Due to NICU stress I didn’t pump regularly, and almost lost my supply. I’m down to 1/2 ounce per pump even though I’m pumping again.
When I first had my baby, I had a couple litres a day of milk. Now I’m down to an ounce.
I know they say milk works based on supply & demand. I’m willing to try pumping every 2 hours if it will actually work, but I can’t tell if it’s wasted effort at this point (in the sense there’s so much in my life I’m trying to balance right now). Do you think I can get my milk back? Drinking more water and eating oats doesn’t really make a difference for me.
If you relactated, how did you do it?
I understand my boys "need me to do this right now", but mentally, I can't bring myself to have MORE eyes on me, after everything I've been through over the past few months. 100 doctors, and nurses, and specialists, walking in on these intimate moments between me and my babies *constantly*. I can't handle the small talk anymore, the eyes, the micromanaging every little thing I do with my kids, the ignoring every simple request I make. NICU is making me insane. I am truly grateful for the doctors and nurses — obviously. It's not that. Rather, it's just that I'm a very quiet, introverted person, and having to "do people-ing" at this level for well over 100 days already, is sooooooo difficult. And now I have to be naked in front of random people too? Great 🙄
Essentially, am I a bad mom for wanting to bottle feed them while they're in the hospital, and work on breastfeeding once they come home?
If they never breastfeed that's fine (re: nipple aversion, due to loving a bottle).
Am I justified in my decision? Do you ever feel like this when trying to breastfeed at the hospital? I value my privacy. The thought of being naked around strangers makes me dizzy.
He’s been doing this since he got the surgery and doctors are saying it’s just his “spicy personality”. I disagree though. He seems very disturbed by it…