u/Sunshinner

Should I leave the Philippines? Cebu City isn’t working for me anymore. Where in SEA should I go next?

I’m a digital nomad in my 20s currently based in Cebu City. I can work from anywhere, and I’m starting to realize Cebu City may not be sustainable for me long-term anymore.

I originally came here because I liked the Philippines, the people are kind, the beaches are beautiful, and the cost of living can be affordable. But after actually living in Cebu City, the daily environment is starting to wear me down.

The biggest issues for me are:

• Lack of walkability
• Pollution and traffic
• Not enough clean, easy outdoor spaces
• Too much city chaos without the lifestyle payoff
• Infrastructure feeling harder than expected
• Feeling mentally drained by the general vibe

I’m not trying to bash the Philippines. This is just my honest experience living here. I know a lot of people love it, and there are things I still appreciate. But I’m asking from a practical digital nomad perspective: is it time for me to leave the Philippines, and if so, where should I go next in Southeast Asia?

What I’m looking for:

• Walkable areas
• Affordable monthly living
• Good internet and infrastructure
• Access to beaches or nature
• Other digital nomads / social opportunities
• Cafes or work-friendly spaces
• A place that feels livable, not constantly stressful
• Ideally somewhere I can stay for at least 1–3 months

Places I’m not interested in right now:

• Da Nang
• Anywhere in Vietnam
• More places in the Philippines

I’m mainly looking within Southeast Asia.

For people who have lived in places like Bali, Thailand, Malaysia, Cambodia, or other SEA spots: where would you suggest based on what I’m describing?

Please be 100% honest and speak from your actual experience. I’m not looking for generic travel-blog answers. I want to know where you felt daily life was actually sustainable as a digital nomad.

Thank you! ❤️

I am in my 20's, digital nomad, so I can work from anywhere. I came to live here in cebu city earlier this year, but I was also visited cebu a few times before for short durations in the past few years.

My question: I really loved the Philippines, but now living here my perspective changed a little. I need advice based on what you think I should do, move to another country, or do you think I should try a different part of the Philippines before moving? Read down below to see what I like and dislike to form your advice based on your experience and knowledge. Yes, a lot of my cons are cultural differences I have noticed.

Before you respond, for the locals please understand foreigners are entitled to feel how we feel about your country no matter where we are from. You are not the king and queen of the world, neither are we, not all of us foreigners are rich. Just like if you visit our countries you are entitled to feel how you feel. Stop being a baby when you read and learn about our sentiment towards stuff and just listen. we know it's not your fault the way things are and it sure as heck aren't ours. Thanks! :)

My travel experience: I have been all over the philippines including Boracay, Camotes, and other islands, also I have traveled and stayed a while t other countries in SEA (south east asia) so I am aware of the big contrast in more developed countries like Vietnam or Thailand, fyi.

The things I love about Cebu City/the Philippines:

- The beaches: Out of a lot of south east asia countries, Philippines has some of the best beaches I have experienced, especially here in cebu city it is very accessible to the beaches and near by islands with cheap shuttles and ferries to get there.

- The beautiful and kind people, the people here are very kind and hospitable, and family-oriented

The things that I dislike about Cebu City/the Philippines:

- Bad Healthcare: the doctors I have engaged in seem to not be knowledgable and laugh at certain things even in the ER doctors where playing around and joking with each other and not being professional

- Pollution & Trash: For me it is very overwhelming, of course in the more province areas air pollution is less bad, but there is not much to do there for foreigners like me, and in cebu here especially there is lots of trash on the street so I assume there is not an efficient way trash is handled other than burning it which causes more air pollution. Oh and you got to love the people peeing on the streets everywhere lol

- Cultural understanding, this may shock many people but everyone says the filipino people are most kind and hospitable which I agree, however, I discovered when it comes to friend making or connections, I fear that since a lot of them do not like confrontation. So for example, when I interact with some folks depending on context they would lie about a certain thing or they would not communicate their true emotions and it makes me feel bad for them because they are people like anyone and should not feel like they have to make up a certain image of "artificial happiness or jolliness" all the time but instead express themselves, and for me this has been one of the biggest culture difference to accept the longer I stay here since I value authenticity. Again I mean this from respect not from a negative perspective.

- Lack of Walkability, I am a fitness guy and where I am in cebu city, there is nearly little to no sidewalks and the air pollution makes it hard for me to walk and enjoy my area without it being awful :( I love to walk and enjoy scenary but my spirit gets low whenever I think of how limited that is for me and others

Overall, I still love the Philippines as much as I did before moving here, however, being a resident my thoughts and emotions have changed, my cons list is bigger than my pros list, but the pros list holds weight too. . .

My question, from your experience and knowledge of this place: Do you think it is worth me exploring/living in another part of the Philippines (besides cebu city where I am now) to get a better feel of it, would my experiences be the same/similar in other metro cities OR it is worth me moving to a different country? Comment down below.

Also, again locals please listen, my heart is with you and your people, this post is to help me learn and observe not of a place of bad/negative comments on your country, just what I have encountered, also that goes for the annoying expats lol. This is not the post to comment your dirty laundry or say how entitled I am, I just want to learn more about you and get your advice. Thanks.

Context:
Mid 20's, foreigner from the west, stable financial position, have great hobbies and goals in life, healthy lifestyle, travel often, just moved to ph recently. Confident in my sexuality.

The Story:
(Don't take some things I say to close to heart, don't be soft, laugh a little).
I love the Philippines culture, the people, the food, everything! But, I have grown to hate the gay community here (yes, I am gay), it peels the skin off my bones lol. I said to myself, "It would be nice to finally re-enter the gay dating scene again, how about I try to date a different culture? Some filipino men!"

Being gay is tough all over the world, however, I realized, being gay there is limited spaces to find other gay men. I am not a partier, I don't drink, I don't smoke or do drugs, so I tend to find environments where that happens un-attractive (just for me not others obviously). So, I did what anyone would do in today's modern world. I downloaded Bumble (a place I thought was for romance) and I have tried meeting people from Reddit, and even ran into other gay men in person, but it all ends up the same way. Read below. 

So what happened you ask? Buckle your seat belt. I think I am a fair looking guy, I get lots of compliments in a humbling way, so I get a few matches on Bumble. Guess what happens? I talked to all of them and I found something in common, and they all wasted my time, either asking for money OR they wanted to see my n*ked photos. "How big is it po?" "Is it true what they say about your people? *eyes emoji*" 

From what I have experience, NOT READ ONLINE, it has either been those two things. My heart is broken and just so disappointed from these gay chat experiences because I had a higher respect and expectation for the gay men here in the Philippines. I can not say I have given up, however, as a foreigner it is farrr to toxic for me to be in environments where I am seen as a s*x animal to be put on display where locals just want to see my privates or attempt to use me for money or their wallet haha. 

Summary/TLDR; Foreign guy in his mid 20's (me) healthy lifestyle, looking for romance only, lots to offer others in life, when attempting to find gay dates online through conversations, only faced super h*rny men who wasted my time saying they want romance, but instead begged me for my n*aked photos or asked me for money. And when I said no to these inappropriate requests guess what? Grand finale? They blocked me! Literally everyone whom I thought I was making a connection with, has literally blocked me, no exaggeration. I'm not bother by it deeply emotionally, I think I am just disturbed. IYKYK.

Thanks for reading my ted talk. The gay community rocks!. . . 

Content:
Mid 20's, foreigner from the west, stable financial position, have great hobbies and goals in life, healthy lifestyle, travel often, just moved to ph recently. Confident in my sexuality.

The Story:
(Don't take some things I say to close to heart, don't be soft, laugh a little).
I love the Philippines culture, the people, the food, everything! But, I have grown to hate the gay community here (yes, I am gay), it peels the skin off my bones lol. I said to myself, "It would be nice to finally re-enter the gay dating scene again, how about I try to date a different culture? Some filipino men!"

Being gay is tough all over the world, however, I realized, being gay there is limited spaces to find other gay men. I am not a partier, I don't drink, I don't smoke or do drugs, so I tend to find environments where that happens un-attractive (just for me not others obviously). So, I did what anyone would do in today's modern world. I downloaded Bumble (a place I thought was for romance) and I have tried meeting people from Reddit, and even ran into other gay men in person, but it all ends up the same way. Read below. 

So what happened you ask? Buckle your seat belt. I think I am a fair looking guy, I get lots of compliments in a humbling way, so I get a few matches on Bumble. Guess what happens? I talked to all of them and I found something in common, and they all wasted my time, either asking for money OR they wanted to see my n*ked photos. "How big is it po?" "Is it true what they say about your people? *eyes emoji*" 

From what I have experience, NOT READ ONLINE, it has either been those two things. My heart is broken and just so disappointed from these gay chat experiences because I had a higher respect and expectation for the gay men here in the Philippines. I can not say I have given up, however, as a foreigner it is farrr to toxic for me to be in environments where I am seen as a s*x animal to be put on display where locals just want to see my privates or attempt to use me for money or their wallet haha. 

Summary/TLDR; Foreign guy in his mid 20's (me) healthy lifestyle, looking for romance only, lots to offer others in life, when attempting to find gay dates online through conversations, only faced super h*rny men who wasted my time saying they want romance, but instead begged me for my n*aked photos or asked me for money. And when I said no to these inappropriate requests guess what? Grand finale? They blocked me! Literally everyone whom I thought I was making a connection with, has literally blocked me, no exaggeration. I'm not bother by it deeply emotionally, I think I am just disturbed. IYKYK.

Thanks for reading my ted talk. The gay community rocks!. . . 

Context:
Mid 20's, foreigner from the west, stable financial position, have great hobbies and goals in life, healthy lifestyle, travel often, just moved to ph recently. Confident in my sexuality.

The Story:
(Don't take some things I say to close to heart, don't be soft, laugh a little).
I love the Philippines culture, the people, the food, everything! But, I have grown to hate the gay community here (yes, I am gay), it peels the skin off my bones lol. I said to myself, "It would be nice to finally re-enter the gay dating scene again, how about I try to date a different culture? Some filipino men!"

Being gay is tough all over the world, however, I realized, being gay there is limited spaces to find other gay men. I am not a partier, I don't drink, I don't smoke or do drugs, so I tend to find environments where that happens un-attractive (just for me not others obviously). So, I did what anyone would do in today's modern world. I downloaded Bumble (a place I thought was for romance) and I have tried meeting people from Reddit, and even ran into other gay men in person, but it all ends up the same way. Read below.

So what happened you ask? Buckle your seat belt. I think I am a fair looking guy, I get lots of compliments in a humbling way, so I get a few matches on Bumble. Guess what happens? I talked to all of them and I found something in common, and they all wasted my time, either asking for money OR they wanted to see my n*ked photos. "How big is it po?" "Is it true what they say about your people? *eyes emoji*"

From what I have experience, NOT READ ONLINE, it has either been those two things. My heart is broken and just so disappointed from these gay chat experiences because I had a higher respect and expectation for the gay men here in the Philippines. I can not say I have given up, however, as a foreigner it is farrr to toxic for me to be in environments where I am seen as a s*x animal to be put on display where locals just want to see my privates or attempt to use me for money or their wallet haha.

Summary/TLDR; Foreign guy in his mid 20's (me) healthy lifestyle, looking for romance only, lots to offer others in life, when attempting to find gay dates online through conversations, only faced super h*rny men who wasted my time saying they want romance, but instead begged me for my n*aked photos or asked me for money. And when I said no to these inappropriate requests guess what? Grand finale? They blocked me! Literally everyone whom I thought I was making a connection with, has literally blocked me, no exaggeration. I'm not bother by it deeply emotionally, I think I am just disturbed. IYKYK.

Thanks for reading my ted talk. The gay community rocks!. . .

On the G app whenever you ask a man if he has tested recently a lot of them get offended. Why? Is sex education so bad here that guys think you can get anything even from oral? Someone explain why men are like this here. Do they not care about getting an std or just uneducated?

They think prep and the other stuff protects them but that is not true! Consider hpv, hsv, etc, you are not immune if you take the pills.

I’ve been living in Cebu City for a bit now and I’ve noticed I feel tired and slightly off more often than I expected.

Some of it could definitely be work stress. I’m juggling a lot mentally right now, so I’m not ignoring that. But at the same time, I’m wondering if the environment here plays a role too.

I’ve noticed things like:

• low energy even after sleeping
• mild headaches or head pressure
• occasional throat or sinus irritation
• just an overall “off” feeling some days

I’m curious if anyone else living here has experienced something similar.

If you have:

• Did you figure out what was causing it? (air quality, water, allergies, etc.)
• Did anything actually help from a health standpoint? (vitamins, antihistamines, diet changes, air purifiers, etc.)
• Did your body just adjust over time?

Not trying to jump to conclusions, just want to hear real experiences from other foreigners living here and what worked for them.