u/SuperbButterfly411

I miss my son.

I’m not okay.
Truthfully, I’m not.
I tried to seek professional help from one of the therapist the hospital recommended to me, but that was a flop. I tried reaching out to other therapist. Nobody got back in touch with me and the only one who did scheduled an appointment with me never called me so we could actually speak or have the appointment but she charged me despite her not calling me and the truth is I’m just tired. I miss my baby every day. I’m not someone who was built for this amount of grief I wasn’t built for it. Every connection I’m making in life is special to me no matter who they are. I love my husband, but he takes everything out on me. My life is falling apart. I finally found a new job, but it’s not enough. I thought it would be something to look forward to, but it’s just not. I miss my son. I want to be with my baby. He should be here with me and now I’m just tired every day I wake up angry. I get angry just because I woke up, I’m tired of living, especially without my son he was my light, I was ready to be a mom. I wanted him for so long it’s crazy how long I waited for him to join me on this earth just for him to be taken away by things out of my control. I know this probably isn’t the place to post this but I’m just I’m at my end. I’m at my limit. Life keeps throwing me wrench after wrench. I’m literally watching everything crumble around me. It’s only been three months after I lost my son and it’s been everything in my life.
I don’t think anyone could ever have this much bad luck in their life within a three month time period. I truly don’t.
Anyways; I’m done ranting and crying. And venting.
Thank you to those who will take the time to respond or give me some type of hope. life has just worn me down, and I need to get it off my chest how worn down I feel. Since therapy isn’t in the cards for me.
Thank you.
😊

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u/SuperbButterfly411 — 1 day ago

Amir

To my baby boy, who I love deeply and think of everyday.
Thank you for blessing me and making me a mother.
Thank you for being born even if you only spent a short time with us.
Thank you for letting me learn to love someone so much that I never knew that I could love this much or this deeply. Thank you for allowing me to know what unconditional love truly feels like.

I wonder everyday, about the things you would’ve liked or disliked.
Who you would’ve been, the man you would’ve become.
How much you would’ve really looked like your father, even though at only 22 weeks you were the spitting image of him.
August was supposed to be our month that we shared together.

I talk about you everyday, think about you everyday like you’re still here, you’re still my beautiful son even though you’re not. You still matter to me. It’s important to me, for the world to know you existed because you did. It’s important for me for you to be recognized and honored.
I love you so much my sweet little lion prince..
- love forever, mom ❤️

u/SuperbButterfly411 — 29 days ago

If anyone has anything that just feels right to say..? Taking any readings that anyone has or feels 🤷🏻‍♀️♥️

u/SuperbButterfly411 — 2 months ago

My husband just informed me that he blames me for the loss of our son. I can’t entirely blame him for feeling this way, and part of me feels like he’s right. I blame myself a lot, despite doing my best to care for him how I could before he was born. The two weeks in the hospital were stressful for me, and the day before I went into labor I was stressing about things that didn’t matter much at the time, looking back. He blames me for being so stressed that it caused my body to go into labor.

I’ve already been fighting the suicide thoughts left and right with hopes of this bringing us closer together, not pushing us further apart. But he’s now telling me he doesn’t want to have another child with me & doesn’t really want to be together anymore.

We just lost our son on 4/11/26 so it’s barely been a month.

I feel dead inside, without my son and now my husband is telling me he blames me and doesn’t want anymore children with me or to be married to me anymore.

I don’t even think I can feel anything right now.

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u/SuperbButterfly411 — 2 months ago