u/Suspicious-Top2306

My boyfriend recently broke up with me after two years and eight months. This blindsided me mostly because we were doing good. Yes we had our ups and downs, but there was always a great foundation no abuse no infidelity. I was even in his child’s life for two of those years up until the very last day, we were spending time with each other. I spent the night that weekend did his daughter‘s hair on Sunday. I was broken up with on Tuesday.

There are some other things at play, but he was under a lot of stress from work, interviewing, and waiting to hear back from a big promotion, and also facing financial hardship. I was there through the whole process. I loved him regardless I told him I wanted him to take that job, ONLY if he wanted it and he would be happy. It can be important for a man to have a purpose. In the prior months money was a big focus. He stated I need money for our future to take our relationship to the next level. I need money if I’m gonna be with you, it’s gonna make me happy. In the past, he’s also stated that when he doesn’t have money, he is not a good person.

He was distant slightly in the prior months and I’m not gonna lie my mind went to the worst place that maybe he was having an affair. In the past if he’s overwhelmed, he does become distant, isolated, and shuts himself in to deal with his issues. When he broke up with me, it was after he went completely went silent on me on a Monday and I honestly just only cared if he was alive I asked him about this and told him that I wanted to talk.

He told me that after last night he no longer wished to have any further discussions that I always wanted to have long talks about things he wasn’t doing right, And that he wanted to go our separate ways and move on. That’s when he told me that we had been having consistent issues and each month I’m always bringing up something
that he’s doing wrong and things aren’t fun anymore.

But that isn’t true of course things weren’t fun. He was on a financial diet and I respected that but I consistently still did my duties as a good partner. I cooked I brought over food. I helped him with the care of his daughter. I gave him verbal emotional and physical support. We didn’t live with each other because I stand strong on my boundary that I didn’t wanna move in until we were married. I was of course distraught and he told me he had been feeling like this for a while. I told him that we were telling each other that we loved each other that we were planning on getting married he said yes I do love you but just because you love someone doesn’t mean you wanna be in a relationship with them. He said he needed to focus on his career and his child.

I feel completely abandoned and used. The prior months I felt like I was over giving, and the things that I was wanting to talk to him about or that I was asking from him were non-monetary things such as emotional support quality time and verbal affirmations.

Is there anyone out there that can help give me insight?

Together for three years, we’ve broken up before, but it was more like silent for a couple of days the longest we’ve ever not talked was three weeks. The relationship was not toxic, but there were ups and downs of me needing more connection,and seeking it out. He needed space at times and was distant. We rarely argued, never raised our voice never any abuse. I had a smart mouth lol. He has control issues with everything being on his time when he wants to do it doing whatever he wants to do did I mention he was an only child that’s right and only child Capricorn son Aquarius moon Capricorn, rising Sagittarius, Venus, Aquarius Taurus I am an Aries son, Taurus moon, Scorpio, rising Aries, Venus, and Taurus Mars. We had so much fun with each other up until about a month ago. He went through a really grueling process of interviews with his company and work was extremely stressful for him. He was also going through some sort of financial distress. He told me he just had to be on a budget. I was patient through all this mind you I helped him with his child. I was in his child’s life for two year.

We do have spats though.
Mostly, it’s my intuition of him growing distant and him needing his space. Did I mention he’s a dismissive avoidant? Two weeks ago was the interview and he said that he knew he had been distant and just let him make it. We had fun that weekend the following week right before the breakup we had an excellent time and I saw him three times that week and on that Saturday and then on the Sunday, I kind of took accountability told him I was sorry for being emotional that I was gonna work towards a grounded place, and I take full accountability. This was two days before the break up. I told him I enjoyed being emotionally as glance spiritually connected to him. He said same the next day. I didn’t hear from him all day, so I go to his house. I normally asked, but I use the passcode that he gave me and didn’t see him all night cause I think he slept on the couch the next morning I told him I was worried about him. I asked him why he didn’t call. He said he had a long day at work and he should’ve called and he will call again in the future.

The next day, I told him that we should talk because I was so worried about him. I didn’t know whether he was dead or alive and that when he didn’t call, it made me feel abandoned. He replied after last night I don’t wanna have any more long talks. You always wanna have these long talks about what I’m not doing right it’s best we go our separate ways and move on. What up are you just hanging out? He was like you always wanna have these long talks and things just aren’t fun anymore. I hope you respect my decision to move on.

We have keys to each other’s house. I have his passcode and he tells me I’m welcome there anytime. I normally ask, but I was concerned about him so this time I didn’t. he didn’t block me. He still follows me on social media. I don’t follow him, but he’s not big on social media. I’m literally shocked and devastated. I did not see any of this coming. He told me he hadn’t been feeling like this for a while.

Of course he’s not talking to me. I’m not blocked but he has made it clear that he does not want to talk. He says he still loves me but just because he loves somebody doesn’t mean you wanna be with them. I told him I was hurting and I said you don’t even care that I’m hurting and he said that’s not true.

I’ve decided to completely go ghost. I just wanna know we had a deep bond. Is there a chance for reconciliation?

Together for three years, we’ve broken up before, but it was more like silent for a couple of days the longest we’ve ever not talked was three weeks. The relationship was not toxic, but there were ups and downs of me needing more connection,and seeking it out. He needed space at times and was distant. We rarely argued, never raised our voice never any abuse. I had a smart mouth lol. He has control issues with everything being on his time when he wants to do it doing whatever he wants to do did I mention he was an only child that’s right and only child Capricorn son Aquarius moon Capricorn, rising Sagittarius, Venus, Aquarius Taurus I am an Aries son, Taurus moon, Scorpio, rising Aries, Venus, and Taurus Mars. We had so much fun with each other up until about a month ago. He went through a really grueling process of interviews with his company and work was extremely stressful for him. He was also going through some sort of financial distress. He told me he just had to be on a budget. I was patient through all this mind you I helped him with his child. I was in his child’s life for two year.

We do have spats though.
Mostly, it’s my intuition of him growing distant and him needing his space. Did I mention he’s a dismissive avoidant? Two weeks ago was the interview and he said that he knew he had been distant and just let him make it. We had fun that weekend the following week right before the breakup we had an excellent time and I saw him three times that week and on that Saturday and then on the Sunday, I kind of took accountability told him I was sorry for being emotional that I was gonna work towards a grounded place, and I take full accountability. This was two days before the break up. I told him I enjoyed being emotionally as glance spiritually connected to him. He said same the next day. I didn’t hear from him all day, so I go to his house. I normally asked, but I use the passcode that he gave me and didn’t see him all night cause I think he slept on the couch the next morning I told him I was worried about him. I asked him why he didn’t call. He said he had a long day at work and he should’ve called and he will call again in the future.

The next day, I told him that we should talk because I was so worried about him. I didn’t know whether he was dead or alive and that when he didn’t call, it made me feel abandoned. He replied after last night I don’t wanna have any more long talks. You always wanna have these long talks about what I’m not doing right it’s best we go our separate ways and move on. What up are you just hanging out? He was like you always wanna have these long talks and things just aren’t fun anymore. I hope you respect my decision to move on.

We have keys to each other’s house. I have his passcode and he tells me I’m welcome there anytime. I normally ask, but I was concerned about him so this time I didn’t. he didn’t block me. He still follows me on social media. I don’t follow him, but he’s not big on social media. I’m literally shocked and devastated. I did not see any of this coming. He told me he hadn’t been feeling like this for a while.

Of course he’s not talking to me. I’m not blocked but he has made it clear that he does not want to talk. He says he still loves me but just because he loves somebody doesn’t mean you wanna be with them. I told him I was hurting and I said you don’t even care that I’m hurting and he said that’s not true.

I’ve decided to completely go ghost. I just wanna know we had a deep bond. Is there a chance for reconciliation bless you

He’s a Cap sun Aquarius moon cap rising and I am an Aries sun Taurus moon and Scorpio rising. FYI☺️🙏🏼

First and foremost, we have had our trials and tribulations, like every couple, and we both were recently out of a divorce. My divorce was longer. His divorce was short and traumatic, but I digress. I think we were coming from unresolved trauma and for that I must say at least on my side he helped me work on a lot of of that. I wouldn’t say I’m 100% healed however there are some abandonment issues and of course I’m probably an anxious attachment style while he is an avoidant.

Things were great between us. He’s kind of like my opposite, but we’re also like the same.😂 It was very fun for me. I really grew to love him and I respected who he was. He’s an introvert and I am an ambivert so we got along fine there because I can understand him, but I would say we definitely have different communication styles. He is not expressive. He is very stoic. We shared good times talked about marriage and I became close with his child. I was there through his mother’s death. There was never any infidelity no trust issues.

Our spats stemmed from expectations. I guess I wanted things to move forward. He might’ve viewed that as pressure. He actually did view that as pressure. He had a lot of work stuff going on. Close to the three-year mark he became entangled and work and getting a huge promotion and I felt left out in the cold like I was over giving and wasn’t receiving so I brought that up to him. I told him I needed non-monetary intimacy. I wanted verbal I wanted physical touch, mostly verbal. I needed him to be a cheerleader for me like I was for him. I just wanted reciprocity.

Anyway, I noticed he became distant a little and of course, my anxious attachment wanted to grab on. I tried to give him space I did give him space to work. We only saw each other maybe twice a week before it was more he told me to be patient with him that he just needed to make it through his work stuff. I asked him if what I was asking for was too much and he said no your feelings are valid. I’ll do better. I too also told him that I have been emotional lately and that I take accountability for that and that I just wanted us to be connected again. He agreed two days later. I told him I wanted to talk about something because he hadn’t called me all day the day before which was something he never does, he then proceeded to break up with me over text telling me he didn’t want to discuss anything that I was always trying to have these long talks about what he’s not doing right and things just aren’t fun anymore. he told me he wanted to go our separate ways and move on. He said he had been feeling like this for awhile.

I said, but we’re talking about marriage? It’s been three years. I’m close with your child and we tell each other we love each other? He says yeah I love you but just because you love somebody does it mean you wanna be in a relationship with them. I told him this hurt me because I did feel blind-sighted. We we always talked maturely and calm. We never raised our voices with each other. Of course he is being cold, not responding not talking to me and I’ve decided to go completely cold as well.

My things are still at his house and I’m just wondering if there is any hope of reconciliation.