WIBTA for wanting to set boundaries when it comes to watching my special needs brother all the time
Some background before I start. My father died during Covid, so for so long it’s been me (18) my brother (17 non verbal autism,) my grandparents, and my mom for a very long time. Since she didn’t have a second parent to help with my brother I have been the one she usually turns to other than my grandparents who live with us. My mother is also somewhat strict and overprotective to the point where I didn’t get a phone until highschool and wasn’t allowed to have social media even now (she has parental controls on my phone even after I have graduated) I have not had a lot of freedom to do things on my own. My brother is non verbal autistic and high on the spectrum, not only that but he has OCD, he can’t take care of himself. He has also had a history of destroying things when upset and has even flooded the upstairs of our house and my room before. Not only that but he also has a history of running away and now has to have a tracker on him.I myself have been diagnosed with high anxiety, adhd, and depression.The problem comes with me not wanting to watch him when my mom goes out any more or at least not at much. My mother recently has gotten a boyfriend a few years after my father’s death, I have met the guy and I like him and he’s good for my mom. (Don’t get me wrong am very happy for her.) But because of this they have been going out alone together a lot and for long periods of times. Leaving me with my brother. My grandparents are there but they can’t do much. Am usually the one responsible for him. I love them all so much and get that my mom has been alone taking care of us (we were a lot) for a long time, and even with my grandparents it’s still hard. Everytime I watch him lately I get tense, stressed, and anxious. I worry constantly about things due to his history. My grandparents try to help but they end up just getting in the way and contradicting what I say and making my brother confused. I myself am now at the age we’re am starting community college and a job and am given freedoms that I haven’t before, and it’s frustrating that I can’t when I have to be at home watching my brother. My brother is twice my size and way stronger and faster than me, if he decides to run or lash out theres not much I can do other then try my damn hardest. I feel really bad and worry that if I don’t help out with my brother I could affect my moms relationship with her boyfriend (her boyfriend doesn’t hate my brother and actually likes him but I don’t think he’s really ready to really handle him). I have been watching him for years and have been told am good at it, my brother isn’t even the first child nor special needs child I have watched over. Just something about watching him lately has been setting me off. Maybe it’s the lack of freedom or control, or maybe stress from worrying about college coming up. I do not know. Am sorry this is more of a dump than a post.