u/Sweaty-Class-1903

am in a relationship with my sister’s finance’s brother. That sounds complicated. My sister got together with her fiancée when we were 14. My sister and her fiancée are to be married this year. For reference, we are 25 F. Her fiancée is 26 M and his brother is 27 M. I will refer to her fiancée as L and his brother as C.

Being twins and all, I’ve always known and had a relationship with, her fiancée. Absolutely not in a sexual way. Grosses me out even having to say that. He’s been a brother to me. He’s been there for me during breakups and many hardships. I mean, really, he was just there when I went to my sister but he has also always been supportive of me. He’s told me I deserve better and all kinds of stuff. Obviously my sister did as well, but it feels different coming from a guy. Again, I want to reiterate our relationship is merely friendship, as the thought of him literally grosses me out lol.

I’ve known his brother as long as I’ve known him. We were always a tight circle but I had never thought of his brother in a romantic way until this past year.

For reference, my sister and I were 14 when we met these boys through our friend. My apologies, I don’t want to go into specifics for how we met. My sister went on to pursue a relationship with her current fiancée and I persued a relationship with another boy (U), also met through said friend, we will call her B. Our friend, B, persued a relationship with C and I left it at that. I’ve always thought of him as L’s brother and B’s ex. Again, B was 15 when she was with C.

I was with U for 10 years. There were many ups and downs but the downs outweighed the ups and I finally got over him. My sister and L supported me through everything. C had settled down with a girl we will call D, and I really didn’t think anything of it. He was L’s brother and B’s ex and he had nothing to do with my life.

However, I finally left U for good and found myself again. C was also single, having left D, and attended family events due to our siblings being partners.

My sister invited C to a family gathering, not uncommon. It just so happened that C started talking to me a lot during the gathering. I’m not a big talker at all, let alone to someone I find attractive. I answered his questions and I really didn’t try to further the conversation. I noticed how handsome he was after all these years but I really didn’t think too much of it.

Well, my sister and L were going to C’s new house after the family gathering. L invited me because he honestly probably knew I didn’t have anything better to do and felt bad for me. I’m really not sure of his intentions because he ended up getting upset that his brother, C, & I hit it off.

So L invites me to C’s because him and my sister are going to see C’s new house for the first time. C had been trying to chat me up the entire afternoon and I merely replied to be polite. I had noticed how handsome he was but I was also shy and not really looking for a relationship.

C ended up asking if I wanted to ride with him to his house since L invited me. I played it off like I just wanted to ride in his new car. I couldn’t have him knowing I thought he was handsome and I was into him after the entire afternoon of merely replying to his questions out of politeness.

We happened to really hit it off during the car ride. He lived an hour away but we made a few stops, due to my sister, and it was about 2 hours before we got to his house. There wasn’t a single moment of awkward silence during the car ride. We talked about anything and everything and it just felt so easy to connect with him.

Fast forward a couple weeks and we start dating. Apparently, my sister had planned it all along. She thought we would be great together but L was pissed. He took a while to come around to the idea of his brother dating his future sister in law.

L claims to be protective of me and he’s always thought of me as his sister. So he really didn’t like the idea of his brother dating his sister. Not because his brother is a bad guy, but because he couldn’t get over the fact someone he thought of his sister was dating his actual brother.

I gave a lot of backstory but man am I happy and in love. L is still trying to come to terms with me and his brother being in a relationship. My sister is as happy as I am, but she doesn’t want details of our relationship. She thought we would be a cute couple but she also doesn’t want to think of her brother in law in a certain light.

We are so happy together. My family thinks it’s great, as they’ve always liked C. My friends are happy for me because im finally with a man who isn’t toxic. I’m happy for me. I’m sooo happy. I just wanted to share my happiness with a group who possibly wouldn’t judge me for loving my sister’s fisncee’s brother.

Again, it sounds weird as hell. We are just twins who happen to love brothers.

Since reddit is Reddit and it can be weird and gross, I want to reiterate the fact that I have NEVER had feelings for L and vice versa. I was with U almost the entirety of my sisters relationship with L. I went to her during my hardships with U. L just happened to be there because he lived with my sister. I actually got so wasted with my sister one night, that she left me home with L and our actual brother to take care of my drunk ass while she went out clubbing with our friends. Our twin telepathy ended up with her in the club bathroom crying about U while I was in her bathroom at home crying about U. It’s very funny now. She was crying about the brother in law relationship she lost while I was crying about my actual relationship lost. Anyway, all that to say, L & I have never had a romantic relationship and I’m disgusted even typing that for clarity. I just wanted to clarify he is simply grossed out at the fact someone he’s deemed as a sister is in a relationship with his actual brother. Which, like I said, he’s coming to terms with.

I’ll answer any and all questions but please no hate. My future brother in laws brother is not my brother in law. We will not be related once my sister married L. If anything, C will be a sibling in law but I’ll see him as my boyfriend. Twins share everything, why not a last name? That’s totally a joke.

A while back I made a post about leaving my bipolar partner. I didn’t leave him as soon as he was diagnosed. We got through his episode together and made it past. We knew that marijuana is what triggered his mania and he promised he wouldn’t smoke again. He made it a year and a half before giving in and smoking again, triggering his mania.

Throughout that, he stole from me, cheated on me, he brought strangers into our home, he choked me, he disrupted my peace and my own mental health. I made the decision to leave him and it was so extremely hard although it was the best decision I’ve ever made.

I moved out and got my own place, I got a new job, and I’m so extremely happy. I get home and I no longer have to dread when he comes home. I am filled with peace. His behavior was getting out of control and it was so hard for me to handle. I loved him at his best, but I couldn’t handle him at his worst. He’s been going through mania since October and he’s doing better but he’s still not the man I fell in love with.

I feel extremely guilty for being so happy in life. Anyone who thinks I’m horrible for leaving has a right to their own opinion. I just needed to do it for my own well being. He hadn’t had a job in two years and I was paying for everything. He stole my card and spent my entire paycheck on payday. That really got me behind on bills. He just caused me so much stress with his behavior. It was very hard, but it was the best choice for me.

I’m just writing this in case anyone else is considering leaving when they don’t want to but know they should. I absolutely did not want to give up. I just happened to have family and friends who knew everything going on and told me I deserved better. His own sister and father told me to let him go as well. It took months worth of convincing for me to finally go through with it. I still love him and I worry about him but I’m no longer in love with him. I love myself and my life without him.

If anyone is considering leaving but struggling to do so, this is your sign that you can still be happy despite the heartbreak of losing your partner.