u/Sweaty-Cut7578

I didn't even get it from Fin I got it from Mold/Covid/Gauncaficine. But around the time I got sick I got kicked out of college for some unrelated stupid reason. I got a bunch of money taken from me I also lost all my friends and my gf right before getting sick.

I know its out of the scope of these posts but I can't help but wonder if a real curse was put on me. You can't even begin to explain all the bad things that happened to me in 2021-2022 and they all still linger today I have never been able to move on. When I start to add up all the bad things that happened over the course of months I genuinely can't believe it. Its so bad it almost seems like a comic.

Its as if some demon has done everything in his power to make me kill myself. I felt like during those years the entire energy shifted and I knew I was fucked. Everything I ever tried went wrong in life. Its like I entered a hellish reality everyone also hates me its like they can sense I have a cursed aura and want nothing to do with me.

The only reason I don't kill myself is I received a sign from God to not do it. Even I am not foolish enough to ignore that I know if I ended my life things will get worse.

Most people have this autopilot mode that is basically half their day or more. They do tasks which they have always done without even thinking about it. Like brushing your teeth showering cleaning up your room car maintenance going to the gym etc.

I feel like for me I can never form any habits. Every time I do an action its like a conscious choice no matter how many times I've done it. I can't even form a habit brushing my teeth and I often forget about it. I've never once gotten into this flow state normal people seem to have in life am I doing something wrong or is this just from neurodivergence?

I made a post about low mold areas a month back... I was exposed to extreme black mold for a year even after leaving it I still have an extreme sensitivity to mold.

I had a friend offer to let me stay with him in San Diego. Is that a low mold area or anywhere in Southern Cali in general.

This condition made me give up on love and women. My gf broke up with me after it ruined my life and I realized how vain most relationships are. If you take away youth/looks and sex drive most relationships are awful which is why we all get divorced later in life.

But all the other issues my rapid aging brain fog face literally melting etc are unbearable. I would say the one thing I don't regret about this condition is realizing how 99% of relationships are completely vain and won't last. I just wish all the other physical and mental sides would clear up. The one upside is this really allowed me to see beyond the illusions of youth. If I still had my energy and vitality aspect of testosterone I would be perfectly fine being asexual.

I have a Compatia A+ Cert and years of retail experience. Is it still possible for someone like me to get hired in an entry help desk role without a degree or IT exp?

I am willing to move almost any area in the country. Where I live right now it would be almost impossible to get an IT job.

Years of Chronic fatigue and my parents are sick of me. I will be so unbelievably screwed soon. I think I can't live in this world anymore. At least I had an easy life although numbed tf out and tired all day. But if I am going to be homeless I genuinely can't do it.

All I've ever done is disappoint people in life. I've failed everyone in life and no one has faith in me. This disease has taken everything.

I don't know what to do anymore. Everyone I meet gaslights me. They always say penile shrinkage at 23 is impossible and that it only happens to 60 year olds or eunuchs after a decade.

So either they just are gaslighting me because they have no clue or I genuinely have a disorder that 60 year old men get. I don't know what else to do at this point.

Genuinely it destroyed mine especially the last 2 years. I was a bad porn addict even after the sexual dysfunction. But I finally decided to give it up for a whole year I went on retention. But I noticed something strange I had become even more asexual and never got morning wood. I tried getting an erection and it was so shrunken.

Cialsis things to support my blood flow all that stuff and its still not where it was in 2024. I still had penile loss but it wasn't as bad. Now I am about 60% with drugs so what do I get for my troubles trying to be chaste. Now my penis is fucked forever its been 6 months took huge doses or erection drugs it still hasn't come back nor have I ever gotten morning wood since then. I regret doing semen retention so badly. This only works if you have normal blood flow to the penis.

I can't help but see this all as a twisted joke. Everyday I want to kill myself God was thing only thing preventing me from it. If things don't turn around I probably will end myself or become a drug addict. I've lost every old friend I ever had. I lost my body my strength my penis my face. Even my mind has started to go if this faith leaves me then I have nothing left. I don't understand why this is happening.

I have severe acne and I know accutane is a horrible drug but do the creams still have bad effects for anyone?

My acne and skin issues are very bad I used it a few years ago and it had no worsening effect on my sexual sides. I would take accutane but I've heard accutane can give you sexual sides like PFS/PSSD.

I've tried fixing my gut my diet and my severe acne won't go away on top of this condition.

Has this helped anyone at all.

I have pretty low Testosterone but for some reason my acne is still awful. I always thought Acne was driven by puberty and high androgens or dht.

Its bad enough I'd take accutane for it but I've heard many bad things about accutane.

At the start I looked the same just less energy. 4 years later and my body more and more resembles a eunuch. I have gyno and my face continues to look less masculine.

This makes me realize the lie that time inherently heals. If things remain you look worse with time your penis also continues to shrink. I genuinely think even if I returned to normal I could only revert back to 70% normal.

Only God could fully restore me at this rate.

I don't have much money but I am honestly just considering leaving to a low humidity state. Like Colorado at this point to see if a few months there fixes anything.

Has this actually helped anyone. I got toxic mold exposure years ago and ever since then I have super sensitive to it in my environment I still test positive for myoctoxins. I went back to my childhood home and I still have yet to heal from being in a place with black mold. When I tested for mycotoxins I had them which is strange since I never had issues with mold as a child here.

My dick got a little erect but its still super shrunk like always like 1-2 inches shorter. This confirms what I feared I have permently fucked up my dick. Even if I could have a girl to have sex with I would be having sex with a short curved pencil dick.

Claude told me once you get structural damage from lack of use it could permanently cause the dick to shrink or warp. Urologist refuses to give me an ultrasound either. It won't be covered with insurance says its impossible for a man my age and that this sorta stuff happens to 60 year old men. Well if I have the penile condition of a 60 year old man at 22 I should just kill myself maybe the next life will be better.

I was always expecting that once I fix the problem my dick can go back to normal. I remember last year my penile tissue wasn't even that bad. I still got erections often at 80 sometimes 90% and occasionally morning wood. Now with a huge Cialis dosage I can't even replicate last year. This confirms that I completely structurally fucked my dick up doing semen retention

I am not diabetic yet but I am getting close to pre diabetes. I always store fat in my gut and I constantly look like I have a beer belly even when I dieted and lost the weight it would always store in my breasts and stomach like a Woman's.

Not sure what to do at this rate I am going to get diabetes this condition is the only reason I can conclude.

Been having trouble getting it might be living in my car for a while. I will hopefully be able to get it in a month or so.

I've been going through problems at home but I intend to get it soon.

Anyone have experience with AI models? So far I've only used Claude and Chat GPT. I'd say Claude is a lot better but it still is very conformist to mainstream narratives and doesn't look at things in an alternative way. GPT just tends to be very conforming its not much help

Last year I had to work a night shift job. I had recovered a lot by that point. Anyways I worked 60 hour weeks and lost a lot of sleep. By the end of it I got so chronically exhausted and my erection quality went way worse. It has yet to recover. I tried to just push myself to force myself to work harder and it back fired a lot.

I hope things work for me so I can give others hope.