u/Sweetjirai0

I don't know if this is a schizotypal thing but I might as well post it here because I never really see this talked about, maybe someone can relate. Or maybe a lot of people can and I'm just not aware, I don't know.

I very frequently see people saying they wanna be comforted by others, vent to others or want a shoulder to cry on but that always seemed very alien to me. When I talk about my problems, especially irl I suddenly feel an intense fear and discomfort. Seeing a psychologist was one of the worst experiences of my life because I constantly had to do that. I don't even think it's about judgement but it might be, I don't know. But even if I knew I was gonna be accepted it feels completely useless and does not help me. I also hate when people talk to me or see me when i'm feeling horrible and I want them to leave me alone and not mention it. Most people assume it's because I worry about burdening others but I honestly don't care about that. Closest thing I experience to enjoying venting is posting my problems online and people telling me they relate. I also hate when people get involved in my problems or pity me so even when I was going through the worst parts of my life I never told anyone because it would just make things worse, they don't understand me and what I need and never will. I don't really have any trauma related to this, I'm just like this and have only ever been able to help myself. It's been like this since I was pretty young. Hope this makes sense, I'm writing this at 5 am and haven't been able to sleep

This happened in my early teens. For some info, I've been having paranormal experiences since I was very little. When this happened they were becoming very frequent, but I mostly had mild experiences like a door opening out of nowhere. I had some more intense experiences like hearing very heavy footsteps when home alone but that's about as bad as it got before this.

Before it happened I couldn't sleep and went over to sleep on the couch in the living room.I still couldn't sleep so I was just daydreaming and walking around. It happened at about 2 am. I started hearing heavy breathing. It was coming from inside the room and was very close, I looked around to see what could be making the noise but there was nothing that could've been making noises that sound like heavy breathing or anything close to it. It sounded like it was coming from a woman. I stayed in that room for about 3 minutes hoping it would stop, but it didn't so I went back to my room. It stopped a few seconds after I got to my room.

Later when I woke up and told my family about it, my mom said that she had a very vivid and intense dream about me disappearing and woke up crying. I wanted to share this story because I find it really interesting, I wanna see what you think, whether it's a logical or paranormal explanation.

Some extra info is the house itself wasn't haunted and I was the only one having frequent paranormal experiences and no one else there. I also have no dead female family members or anything like that.

I live in Europe and nobody knows any alternative styles except emo and sometimes goth (like most places lol) and I lovelovelove monochrome black coords which means people think i'm gothic almost everyday 🥹 It's understandable but honestly really tiring and annoying after some time. I've been recognized as a jirai one time in an anime con after taking a picture with some pjsk cosplayers and I was soo happy 😭 was the highlight of my week. I'm wondering if y'all have similar expiriences of being mistook for other styles too? ^^