Lack of Positive Black Experiences/posts
I’m a 27 year old gay Black man originally from Nigeria but I’ve lived in the UK since my teens, and lately I’ve become really frustrated with how overwhelmingly negative online discussions about Black people, dating, travel, and social life seem to be.
Every time I search anything involving Black experiences — it’s always “we’re undesirable”, “nobody wants us”, “don’t travel to this country/city”, “queer spaces hate Black people”, “dating is hopeless”, etc. And while I’m not blind to the fact racism and bias exist, I’m honestly struggling to relate to the constant doom and negativity online.
My real life experience has been much more nuanced. I’ve travelled around Europe and other countries, lived in different UK cities, have a very active social life, have been approached by different races, have dated/hooked up with different kinds of people, and overall I’ve generally felt pretty normal and desirable as a person. Sure, I’ve experienced rejection or awkward moments before — but who hasn’t? I reject people too. Attraction is mutual sometimes and not mutual other times. That’s just dating.
What frustrates me is how hard it is to find positive or even balanced conversations online. Instead, it feels like algorithms only push pain, fear, rejection and racial anxiety over and over again until you start questioning your own reality.
Is anyone else tired of this? Not denying racism exists, but just wanting a more balanced and human perspective instead of constant negativity?