u/T0T4L_ECL1P53

One of my favorite phantom shifts I had (I’m a spiritual therian so I rlly only get those) was where I had giant dragon like feet. It was so weird and uncalled for, as I usually trigger my shifts. I’m a dragon otherkin, but ims till trying to figure out what kind of dragon, but this was a nice head start. I had it in the middle of choir, and my legs just felt so much bigger like a dragon’s. I was super exited because I don’t get shifts often.

Hello… today I'm gonna rant about my ex best friend who I'll call petal, and I want to know if I was an ah for cutting her off…. Okay so it all goes back to when we became friends in 2021  Petal was always quiet and submissive but fun and we were inseparable. Everyone knew that we were best friends. I was mostly quiet but louder with her. I also do admit, I was always a bit "controlling" until around 2024 when I finally woke tf up.
By controlling, I mean always deciding what games we’d play during recess (I was in elementary…) though she never really said what she wanted to  say if i remember correctly. That was until the summer of 2025.

I hadn't talked to Petal much that summer so I decided to text her. She normally responds really quickly (she’s a freaking phone addict) so I thought it was odd after she hadn't responded in two days. I was playing roblox a while after that and I wanted to see if Petal was online so we could play together like always. When I checked my friend list, I didn't see her username. I even searched it up, nothing.

I was frantic (a bit of an overreaction now that I rethink but oh well) so I searched up her username outside of the party chat and I saw it. She had unfriended and blocked me. I told some friends about it and they were also unfriended and blocked. I thought she was mad at me for whatever reason.

This really and I mean really broke me (to the point where I did some things…), as she was my first real friend. I was trying so hard to figure out what I did wrong but nothing… We had orientation for the next school year and I knew she'd be there. I was terrified to see if she didn't want to be my friend anymore and I was constantly looking around for her when she walked in.

Petal comes in and sits down with my friend group, waving and being all friendly like nothing happened…i was honestly shocked. Later I asked about it and she told me that we were stressing her out when I had hardly texted her… she apologizes (I THINK! I don't remember this part well) and invited me and our other friend (lets just call her Bow) who was also worried to hang out.

I was still pretty shocked and shaken but brushed off that feeling. This is where I meet my other friend who we’ll call goldilocks (you’ll see why…) I met Goldilocks during the orientation and we were instantly friends. We had all of the same interests (im not even joking-) and a similar personality. We'd always joke that we were twins.

Within the first few weeks of school, I was admitted to the hospital (actually for no reason…) my vitals were fine, my weight height and everything was fine. And this all happened because I vented to my doctor who just wrote it all freaking down and told everyone. So of course I told her on a call with Bow, because she was my best friend. The first thing she asked me was “did you eat?" while my other friend asked if I was okay. I was shocked because she knew how insecure I was and I think that was the reason I was admitted.

I straight up ended the call and had to survive a week in the hospital. I just got out around the same time as an important event that I did not want to miss. When I got out, all my friends knew and some asked if I was okay, while others said nothing, including Petal. I eventually forgot about it and everything was fine until winter break. I was telling Petal something and she dismissed it as she always does, because she thinks I'm so immature and incompetent.

I was so fed up so I told her of course you dont believe me and it spiraled from there. The argument ended with a message from her saying some horrible things that I won't repeat (one of the things she said was that I thought her autism was a quirky trait. Funny because I have it-). Breaking up over an argument was 10x worse than before.

When we went back to school, I’d thought that she might have gotten over it, but she ignored me. One day in study hall, she wrote an apology and I hugged her and we caught up. Things were going smoothly until April first where she admitted herself to the mental hospital. She didn’t even bother telling me though, as if I hadn't been there for her when her cat and grandmother died, and as if we didn't vent to each other all the time.

I was hurt that she didn't tell me and not to make it about me, but it was a week before my birthday lol, and she never remembers it, though i do hers. That was pretty selfish (on my part) but I didn't really focus on that. And to make it worse, she told Goldilocks everything and me nothing, so I had to do some digging. I sent her a bunch of messages hoping she’d get better, though I know it's not easy since it was a mental illness.

I tried to push the fact that my best friend was in a hospital and spent time with my other friend, and we got closer. During the week of testing (I LOVE TESTING YAY), she tells us she is coming back to school, conveniently on a friday where we have testing all day and like 5 outside breaks. I got super excited and on the day she said she was coming, I waited for her to walk into the school doors.

When she walked in I screamed and jumped on her and hugged her. We both said we missed each other and we went to testing (in the same room too!) At the first recess, she was talking to all our other friends (normally, she was very quiet and liked doing whatever our group was doing, but now she was so talkative and just idk) and talked to me like twice, so I just thought okay. The second recess we (me, petal and goldilocks)  had the option to do an activity. We WERE all therians so ofc we picked the activity where we walked around outside. We had SO much fun and to  me, that was the highlight of the day.

WE EVEN GOT TO CLIMB A TREE. The day soon ended and I was scared that next week, she would be quiet again and to my dismay, I was right for most of the day. But I noticed she was only being loud and talkative with everyone else, but being quiet and serious with me which I felt hurt by because I'm always funny and loud with everyone. During the last month of school, Goldilocks and Petal keep going places without me and saying oh… sorry you cant come (mind you, i introduced them to each other and Goldilocks might not even have had any friends here if it weren't for me tbh…).

One day, we were at study hall and I was sitting with Petal and Goldilocks. I decide to take Goldilocks’s pencil (because my dumb ah adhd brain does not understand boundaries) and she crashes out. Petal asks me things like “why do you do this” “why are you like this” basically asking what is wrong with me because I took Goldilocks’s pencil. I ofc eventually give it back, and they leave the room together and don't come back.

During that study hall, Goldilocks says she liked Petal more than me which I was very hurt by. That weekend I got into an argument with Goldilocks online but I noticed some things that sounded like Petal was saying it. I ask goldilocks if she was with Petal, she says no. I ask again, she says no and I'm not convinced because I've known her for about 7 years.

Goldilocks called me toxic (I swear the only thing I did was take her pencil AND give it back.nthe only excuse she had as to why I was toxic is because i jokingly call her blonde [MIND YOU SHE LAUGHS TOO] when I asked her what I did that was toxic she said you have to figure that out by yourself…).

During the argument, i know petal is there, she keeps saying things like you’re so corny (mind you, the only thing she sends me are these corny ah ai videos that are freaking weird, and videos about gloving and nose pulling…) she also says this is why no one likes you and things like that, which i was taken aback by because petal is usually so kind to everyone, even during arguments.

Petal eventually leaves and I make up with Goldilocks. But Petal’s mom send a message to my mom saying that “she’s worried for my mental health” and that i said i was going to kill myself slowly. I started laughing because I never said anything like that. And if she was so concerned, you should maybe talk to me about it… The rest of the year, Petal keeps bullying me almost, saying things like, you’re so corny you’re always doing too much (im sorry you just don't do anything-), this is why no one likes you and just other things like that.

By then I'm very insecure and decide to cut her off suddenly just like she did to me (bc im just petty like that). But hey, as she says, “It’s okay to stop talking to someone if they are stressing you out.” so BAM KARMA. Looking for advice about what i should do, what I did wrong, and if I was right or wrong to cut her off. I understand that I'm a bit narcissistic and I've been working on changing that.

I also feel bad becuase it feels like she’s gained a lot of confidence (maybe a bit too much…) and I just stopped talking to her because I wasn’t the center of attention (that’s not why I cut her off tho).  If you’ve read up to here, I just want to say thank you so much for taking the time to hear my story. Also i know that the grammar was pretty bad but oh well… ;-;

she genuinely used to be the sweetest person and looking back on old photos stories and texts, I do really miss hee but it’s really whats best for both of us. Also looking back at our old texts, she was damn right when she called me corny….