I made a first small contact with Lilith last night just to say i was feeling pulled toward her. This morning i feel a powerful lack of motivation, i don’t know how to say this, some "i don’t want anything or to do anything" feeling you see ?
I don’t know how to take this. Is it normal ? No ? Anything ? Is it linked to Lilith ?
I am sorry about what i am going to talk about.
I am going to talk about age gap relationship.
We all know dating is incredibly hard in JW and many people stay celibate a long time. Many of them have their first relationship between 35 years old and 50 years old. I saw that many many time.
But i know it does cause issues to some of them. Many of them (not all of them of course) are very frustrated to have missed the love in the beginning of adult age, and there is frequently adultery acts with youngers people. I have known an elder before. He married at 42, first relationship, he talked to me about it when we were doing door to door.
He is now excommunicated because he broke up with his wife for a 24 years old girl. Yeah really.
An assistant who's also a father of a 21 years old girl, told me sometime it is hard for him to not look at the students in the university next to the kingdom hall because he wanted to know love at this age.
Do you all also saw that in your kingdom hall ?
I know it can be hard to trust what i say, but i assure you that is true, and i also feel frustrated about it but i am only 26 years old. I want to have a relationship, to be in love, to be loved. I am PIMO and can't get out but soon i will be able i think. I'll see.
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They hope to be young again, be with their spouse again, see their parents again (and let's not lie, some of them also imagine youngers people are going to be their slaves in the paradise. Not all of them of course).
But for the youngs ? Is "paradise" really a good thing for them ? Most of them have missed relationship, discoveries of teenage years, opportunity to practice a passion or learn a work they love.... And in the paradise they are going to work for what ? For the governing body who are now powerful entities in the sky, watching the humanity, ready to "teach" a lesson to the ones who are frustrated ?
I ain't sure for the flair because english isn't my born langage. Sorry if i did a mistake on this.
Narcissistic and egoist piece of shit who only think about his battle of ego with Satan.
The organisation is a reflection of god's personnality, tyrannic narcissistic manipulator.
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I am soo angry. They did soo much damages in my life and my family. I'm unable to accept i have missed all my teenages years because of these shit. And now, as an adult, i am fighting against an army of insecurities i'm feeling when i should be working, have my own apartment and family. But i have none of these. Not even friends.
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I missed too much. I missed social life, love life, professional life, studies, i developped a lot of health issues, i have permanent headaches, insomnia, depression, i can't accept i missed my teenages years and discoveries of this age, i have PTSD...
I don't feel anymore the need or the desire to go outside, go to the beach, walks in nature. And you know why ? Because i have no friends, no wife, no childs, no nieces, no nephews... Nothing. And i don't want to do things for myself. I am PIMO, still assisting to reunion, and everythings because i am stuck living with my mother and step-father and i am to weak emotionnaly to fight. I have never worked also.
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I am 26 years old. Yeah that's young, i know what you are going to say and please don't say it.
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I found a passion in theater. It does help me but it is not enough anymore. I feel betrayed by Jehovah god, the "loving father" who only think about his own glory.
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JW trapped me when i was 12 or 13 years oldi don't remember exactly. It's at the exact moment they entered in my life by my parents that everything and also my mental health started to fall apart.
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I am french, i hope my english isn't to bad, for the sake of yours eyes.
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