u/TangerineBat

Basically as the title says, my boy keeps spraying whenever his routine gets disrupted.

Some background, he is prone to stress-related cystitis, which lead to an operation 8 years ago to reroute his urethra, keeping it short and wide.

I have two other house cats - his sisters from the same litter. They get on well.

He has seen the vet in the last week and nothing was of concern.

Recently, our daily routine has become so solid, that if I step out of line he'll literally rage-spray (but due to his operation he just shakes his tail while pissing on the floor).

Last night it happened again. I needed to go to bed, but my partner stayed up to finish watching a movie.

Boy cat saw me go upstairs, went into the livingroom to shout at my partner, then when my partner didnt get up off the sofa, he sprayed on the mat - where my partner could see him.

We're due to go away for a few days soon and I have a friend coming over to watch the cats, so obviously their routine will be totally different during this time.

Not sure what to do.

Also, they have water points and feliway plug-ins GALORE.

I cant stop ruminating about my friend.

I've counted her as one of my best friends for over 20 years, although we now live far apart and dont see each other often.

A group of us went away for the weekend and on the first day, everything seemed fine, but on the second day things just felt different.

First, we were about to leave the hotel so I was putting my makeup on and suddenly she starts talking about how she hates makeup and its so pointless and stupid. I didnt say anything and tried not to take it as a personal dig.

We then went for breakfast and I was telling a story about something - nothing particularly important, just something from life as we were catching up.

She suddenly gets up and goes to see if we needed to pay at the desk.

So I stop, and I didnt know whether to wait for her to come back, or just tell the rest of my story to the other friend (friend 2), so I kinda waited. Friend 1 came back, so I carry on telling my story but then Friend 1 gets up and says "lets go" and just walks out.

So we follow out and I carry on telling my story, but then Friend 1 literally runs across the road to go look in a cakeshop window. So we follow.

At this point i'm just like "point taken. I'll stop talking", and Friend 2 (i love her so much) senses i'm offended and tries to encourage me to finish my story but it just feels like charity more than genuine interest so I tell her it doesnt matter.

We're walking along and i'm being quiet, then Friend 1 suddenly wheels on me and demands "what's the matter!?"

So I tell her that she really hurt my feelings.

She responds with "I cant be interested in EVERYTHING you say!"

I just kinda froze. I know i'm not the best storyteller, and maybe i'm not all that interesting as a person but it just felt cruel.

She then (no apology) blames "[her] adhd"... and I didnt respond but it really rubbed me the wrong way.

Firstly, she isnt diagnosed but knows I am. (Not that it probably matters. She probably does have adhd, and I dont want to sound like I have some kind of superiority on the matter)

Secondly it felt like she was using a diagnosis as a free pass to be rude AF.

At the time we kinda just made up and enjoyed the rest of our time away - mainly because i didnt want to make things awkward for Friend 2.

But its been eating at me for months now.

Friend 1 also missed my birthday. We usually exchange gifts but all i got from her was a template message on my facebook wall.

I cant talk to her about it - last time I tried she responded with "I cant be interested in everything you say".

Also she's going through a hard time right now and i'm trying to be there for her, while keeping a bit of distance as I feel unsafe baring my feelings around her now, and i'm really struggling with resentment - trying to be so conscious of her feelings when she was so callous with mine.

Just dont know what to do and I cant stop ruminating.