u/TarHeelBraves8

I’m just typing all this out so I can get it off my chest and hopefully get some advice and/or hear from others who have been through phases like this…

As the title states, I’m a 29 year old husband and dad of two that is completely burnt out. My wife and I have been married for 5 years now and are generally happy. We own our home, and have a 2.5 y.o. son and 11 month old daughter. I work a very stressful job that has its perks, but demands a lot from me. My wife stays at home with our kids and is a really good mom to them - attentive, caring, and genuinely does her best. I do as much as I can to lighten her load so that she doesn’t get burnt out, however I don’t think that sentiment is being reciprocated.

Examples of my duties around the house include: I do the dishes after dinner every single night, I do bath time for the kids, I put our eldest to bed, I do ALL nighttime kid duty which has been CONSTANT for the 2.5 years. Our baby slept wonderfully right until the point that her brother finally started sleeping through the night when he turned 2, at which point she is up multiple times per night. I also wake up early on the weekends and let my wife sleep in. This is every weekend, and the favor is never offered to me in return.

My job is nice in that I work 4, 10-hr days, so I get a 3 day weekend every week. The downside to our situation is that we only have one vehicle that is ours, I have a work truck that can be used to run errands and such during the work week within reason (and obviously for work related tasks), but we can’t use it on the weekends. So, often on the weekends my wife will say she needs a break from the kids and go out to shop or have coffee with her friends and leaves me at home. I am generally okay with this because I want her to have a social life, as being around babies all day is draining. My problem is becoming, though, that I rarely, if ever, get this opportunity. I’ve expressed this and she agrees in the moment, but if I ever have something that comes up as an opportunity she acts weird like I’m abandoning her and the kids “during the only time I get to spend time with them”.

I can go into more detail if anybody wants me to, but that is the gist of it. Am I crazy for feeling burnt out? Anybody dealt with anything similar, and if so, how’d you deal with it?

I’m just typing all this out so I can get it off my chest and hopefully get some advice and/or hear from others who have been through phases like this…

As the title states, I’m a 29 year old husband and dad of two that is completely burnt out. My wife and I have been married for 5 years now and are generally happy. We own our home, and have a 2.5 y.o. son and 11 month old daughter. I work a very stressful job that has its perks, but demands a lot from me. My wife stays at home with our kids and is a really good mom to them - attentive, caring, and genuinely does her best. I do as much as I can to lighten her load so that she doesn’t get burnt out, however I don’t think that sentiment is being reciprocated.

Examples of my duties around the house include: I do the dishes after dinner every single night, I do bath time for the kids, I put our eldest to bed, I do ALL nighttime kid duty which has been CONSTANT for the 2.5 years. Our baby slept wonderfully right until the point that her brother finally started sleeping through the night when he turned 2, at which point she is up multiple times per night. I also wake up early on the weekends and let my wife sleep in. This is every weekend, and the favor is never offered to me in return.

My job is nice in that I work 4, 10-hr days, so I get a 3 day weekend every week. The downside to our situation is that we only have one vehicle that is ours, I have a work truck that can be used to run errands and such during the work week within reason (and obviously for work related tasks), but we can’t use it on the weekends. So, often on the weekends my wife will say she needs a break from the kids and go out to shop or have coffee with her friends and leaves me at home. I am generally okay with this because I want her to have a social life, as being around babies all day is draining. My problem is becoming, though, that I rarely, if ever, get this opportunity. I’ve expressed this and she agrees in the moment, but if I ever have something that comes up as an opportunity she acts weird like I’m abandoning her and the kids “during the only time I get to spend time with them”.

I can go into more detail if anybody wants me to, but that is the gist of it. Am I crazy for feeling burnt out? Anybody dealt with anything similar, and if so, how’d you deal with it? Thank you in advance!