Friend With Benefit, Question
Hi!
So my main question revolves what my friend and I should do, both aro, about if we should or shouldn't go into a fwb. Here's a story time below and the main question after!
Story time! Okay so I have close friend, who I'll just call spark for privacy reasons. I've been friends with her for a while, like 3-4 years. We're both similar in our age around 20. And we've been close friends for a while too.
To begin, she's one of the people who made me realize 1 was aromantic as she is too. I like to believe this brought us a lot closer, we never had to worry about the "boy girl friendship" thing becuase we were aro
But recently as of late (by recently I mean like |wk nine months) I've been feeling sexual attraction for her. This isn't normal, we've both opened up about how we don't have interest in each other. And I never lied about that when I said that. I thought she was pretty and I complimented her (as a good friend would) but nothing else. But then one day that changed and now I began to feel sexual attraction.
I never told her this (pin in this for later) and for the next several months it got a little bad. I never went out of my way to be weird or assault or harass her or anything but it felt weird to me, especially because, again, we both felt comfortable as just friends. And part of me wanted to just be friends too. After all, I loved them as a friend. And I don't want a romantic relationship. But I started having thoughts of fwbs.
Then a few months later after this revelation, spark and I met up for the first time (we kinda met up one time but that was a long time ago ver briefly, and we are online friends btw). It was a very fun and I loved that week (though my wallet didn't), but I can't lie and say I didn't have sexual thoughts during that either.
All of this to say that it kinda got out of hand. I didn't want to tell her and ruin our friendship by making this sexual feeling something to tear us apart. And I didn't want her to view me as some weirdo (or something) but last night I got super drunk and I lowkey told her and now we are here.
Story time over! I got a mixed response, but her main worry is similar to mine in that if she agrees to do this friends with benefits with me (which I don't think she's just agreeing to doing it bc I asked?) that it could spiral somehow and ruin our friendship. And she doesn't want to deny and make me upset either.
What should we do? This post is kind of for both of us, as I don't really know anything about this either.
We both don't really like relationships and I'd say are pretty comfortable with how we are right now, and we wouldn't want the sexual aspect of it to take it into a possessive relationship. Idk. Is there any advice for what we should do? If so pls do share.
Thanks!