u/TechnicalCream2206

I'm subletting a room in a shared house for the summer, found through a private rental listing, not an agency. Nowhere during our conversations before I moved in was I told that the owner's adult daughter (mid-30s) actually lives on the property full-time and manages it day-to-day while her parents travel. I only found this out after arriving.

For context, I'm not new to shared living, I've done house shares before and generally keep to myself. I mostly stay in my room, only use the kitchen about twice a day, and try to be as low-impact as possible as a guest in someone else's home.

When I arrived, the room hadn't been cleaned properly, there was noticeable hair in the bed and sink. I mentioned it to the daughter, and she brushed it off, claiming the hair was hers from cleaning. I wasn't convinced, so I raised it with her father directly. When I brought it up, he said he was "privy to this" and knew exactly what I was talking about, which felt like an implicit acknowledgment that he's aware of how she can be, without him actually saying that outright. He took it seriously, apologized, and had the whole place professionally cleaned within a day or two.

After that, things actually seemed to improve. The daughter and I talked for a while one evening, she shared a lot about herself, and the conversation felt cordial, even friendly. She suggested we connect on social media (I didn't take her up on it). I kept things pleasant but didn't overshare in return.

She offered to let me use a desk and chair in an empty room next to mine, said I could use it anytime, and she'd only ask me to step out if there was a showing (the house is on the market). I used it for about a week. Then I saw she'd had it moved, along with my laptop still on it, to prep for a showing. I messaged her asking if I should relocate or use a smaller table in my own room instead. She said it was totally my choice, no pressure either way.
Shortly after, I messaged her father directly asking to move a small desk into my own bedroom permanently. Before he replied, I happened to overhear her arguing with him about it through a window (she didn't know I could hear). What she said, as best as I can recall, word for word where I'm certain: that I "know she's the only one on the property," that other people had wanted my room before me (she listed them by name), that they'd "already done more than enough" for me. When he pushed back citing an upcoming showing that needed my cooperation, she responded dismissively, something like "so what, it's one showing, it's ten minutes, big deal." She then made a comment about my ethnic background, saying something to the effect of "I know these [ethnicity], they're polite to your face but difficult behind your back," implying I was outwardly pleasant but secretly difficult or untrustworthy because of where I'm from. And this, exactly: "Can't wait to see how the rest of the month goes, can't wait for her to go away."

Her father, from what I could hear, was the one actually pushing back and defending the accommodation. Shortly after, he messaged me himself, warmly, declining the desk request but offering an alternative table from storage, no mention of any tension.

Since then, she's been cold and short with me, barely speaking, while he's continued to be consistently warm, at one point calling me "an angel" for cooperating with a showing (I had to temporarily relocate my cat and leave the house for an hour). Honestly, at this point I suspect he's overcompensating with kindness because he knows she's difficult, almost like he's trying to make up for her behavior without directly addressing it. That's just my theory though.

I'll admit, this whole thing has made me more self-conscious than I already tend to be, second-guessing small interactions, wondering if I'm imagining tension that isn't there, that kind of thing.

So, what do you guys have to say about this? Should I continue living here, and how should I handle the rest of my stay?

I matched with a guy on Bumble about two months ago. Things moved fast. Really fast. Within weeks he was telling his friend he thinks he met his life partner. He asked me if he would need my mother's permission to marry me. He talked about us having kids. He texted every day, called regularly, and was genuinely curious about my life. He learned about my culture, remembered details, celebrated my wins. It felt real and consistent. Some context about me that matters here. I have been dealing with a lot in my personal life and I am in a vulnerable place. Rejection hits harder when you are already carrying a lot.

I was genuinely good to him. I gave him space, never pressured him, cared about the small things. I cooked for him, sent him back with food when he visited. I never once visited his place. He lives two hours away and would always come to me. That was just the reality of the distance.

And to be fair it went both ways. He cooked for me, brought me flowers and wine, and once noticed I didn't have the right wine glasses and just showed up with some. He fixed broken cabinet handles around my apartment, installed an AC unit without me having to call anyone, and generally showed up in ways that felt genuinely caring and not performative. He was not just saying nice things. He was doing them too. Which is exactly why this has been so hard to make sense of.

We spent three weekends together. The last two times he stayed over at my place. He met my close friends, people I don't bring just anyone around. We went to a party together. The night before he left he said we should move in together. Later that week, during his family's religious holiday that same week he told me he thinks about how I would fit into his family (in a slightly concerned tone though).

After that weekend he had planned to come visit me again, even said he would come twice in the same week. Then he got sick and the visit got cancelled. I was understanding about it. I checked in on him, took care of him from a distance, told him to rest. During that week he told me he was missing me and that he would call. He never did.

And then something changed. The calls dropped dramatically. He was getting better but somehow talking less. The warmth in texts was still there, still saying he missed me. But the calls stopped and the conversations got shorter and shorter until one day they basically disappeared.

At one point during this period something felt off enough that I sent him a message saying I didn't think he was ready for dating. I deleted it almost immediately because I second guessed myself and honestly I also wasn't in the best headspace that night. I went to bed thinking he hadn't seen it.

The next morning he texted asking if everything was okay. He asked a few times. I told him we would talk about it, genuinely expecting him to call or follow up later that day. He never did. Not a call, not a text, nothing for the rest of the day. That night after it became clear he wasn't going to reach out I sent him a longer message.

I told him that his recent behaviour is very strange and I deserved better than that.

That was a couple of days ago. No response.
He has not blocked me anywhere.

Some context about him that might help explain the full picture. He left a fairly insular religious community about ten years ago and has largely been self taught since. He does not have a conventional education but has managed to build a decent life for himself. He mentioned once that he went through a financial and legal situation at some point, lost money that affected others, but said he resolved it fully and paid back every person involved. I am sharing this not to paint him negatively but because for a moment I also thought he could have gotten arrested or something.

He also mentioned he thinks he might have ADHD though it is undiagnosed. A friend suggested this could explain the intensity followed by the drop off, hyperfocus at the beginning and then fade. Maybe. But ADHD does not explain not following up when someone tells you there is something they need to discuss. Or maybe it does. Don't know anything at this point.

I am finding it hard to understand why would someone talk about moving in together the night if they are having second thoughts. You don't think about how someone would fit into your family during your most sacred holiday if you are not serious. So either he meant everything in those moments and got scared when reality kicked in, or I completely misjudged this person.

A part of me is wondering if something bad happened to him. I have no mutual connections with him and genuinely no way of knowing. But the fact that my messages delivered to his phone tells me the phone is active, which gives me some peace of mind. He is probably just choosing not to reply. And that is okay. I can move on from here.

But I know I will always wonder what actually happened. I wish he had just told me he's not feeling it anymore. Has anyone been through something like this? What do you think is going on?