I cannot be around my mother if she drinks, am I awful?
My mother is mentally ill and an alcoholic, and I have had to make the hard decision that I cannot be in her life as long as alcohol is.
When she drinks, she becomes emotionally and sometimes physically abusive. The day after is even worse. Alcohol interferes with her medications, and she becomes depressed, insecure, and angry, and the emotional abuse escalates. She drinks every day so the cycle is never ending.
I finally drew the line while I was in the hospital. She was calling me three times a day, drunk or hungover, to scream at me, and I couldn't take it anymore. After she asked my husband to be a mediator, my spouse walked her and my father through her behavior over those few days, hoping they would see the effect it was having on me. Since then, she has been pressuring me to say that my spouse and I lied and that none of it happened.
My father who has his own mental health struggles depends on her drinking to cope with her mental illness so has just vanished from our lives, he doesn't want her to stop drinking.
I feel awful not being able to be in their lives, but I can't do what they want me to, I cannot pretend the abuse didn't exist, I also cannot be abused for the rest of my life either. I don't see any other option... does anyone have any advice?