u/Technical_Tomorrow_4

I've just passed 52 weeks since I took medical leave, my psych injury claim was accepted in Feb/earlier this year. The fact my employer refused to participate in the circumstance investigation prior to the conference helped my claim succeed. My employer has delayed payments due to payroll errors and have been disorganised. Lately I've been pressing them (and CCing the case manager about this.

Out of the blue I received an email requesting I participate in a circumstance report, and a private investigation firm reached out via email too in order to "assist them in the determination of your claim".

I am extremely wary, and I've reached out to my union about this. I don't know if this is standard at the 52 week mark, or because I've been chasing my employer about my workers comp arrears, or what?

Any advice?

I'm a queer woman in my mid 30s, and my city is a popular queer capital. I've been single for ten years, but not for fear of commitment. I've noticed that my community seems to favour non monogamy and open relationships, so much so that I'm mocked or judged by others when I mention my own preference is monogamy and hopefully to be married one day. I get called vanilla, normie, or told I'm perpetuating the patriarchy.

Obviously I'm fine with people choosing what's right for them, but I can't help but wonder if this culture encourages or exacerbates people with avoidant tendencies.

I don't bring an engagement ring to the first date by any means, I just mention I want a long term relationship and thats it, but people still spiral and freak out eventually! They always act like they want the same things, give model answers, show a lot of interest early, and then I get whiplash from a sudden turn. Every single time.

I had a recent 2mth dating experience with a girl I'm sure is a DA. She showed all the typical signs in the end during the deactivation and discard. Not only was it drastic and sudden, but this girl became unrecognisable. At first she seemed very soft, introverted, gentle, demure, shy, bookish, but became hostile and contemptuous (and even aggressivr) during the discard. I was shocked.

I knew I still had work to do but I genuinely thought I'd gotten better at spotting this. These days I don't chase chemistry I look for values and connection, take things very slow, I keep sex off the table until I have a clear idea or conversation from them where it's going (usually people self select out when they realise I'm not putting out), I pay attention to what they say about others and themselves. I like myself and feel comfortable with who I am and my life. I'd like a partner but not at the cost to my mental health avoidant people cause, and I'd rather be alone.

I've dated or met countless girls and i watch every single one panic spiral and suddenly mention they're not ready for a relationship or some vague excuse.

After this last girl I just don't feel sad or angry any more, I just feel despondent. While i have gotten wiser and quicker to notice and act, I want to know how to filter them out even sooner.