Ive been going by Silas for a little bit now but it doesn’t feel quite right and I’m looking for suggestions! Looking for preferably names with the same vibe as my current options and if possible, something that can both sound very masculine or very feminine at the same time.
Current considerations:
- Silas
- Étienne
- Dorian
- Rivers
- Bellamy
- Nathaniel
Me and my ex girlfriend were together for a year before i broke up with her three weeks ago. My reasons for breaking up were that I just didn’t feel like I was in love with her anymore and didn’t want to lead her on, she didn’t have many friends so it made me feel guilty to choose hanging out with my friends over her, I felt that we were becoming too codependent, it was very mentally draining to be around her whenever her mental health was bad which was very often, and I feel like I need to be single to figure things out about myself and become my own person. I’ve been questioning my gender identity recently, and while I identified as a woman at the beginning of our relationship, I have been identifying as a boy for a while now. I’m not sure if this was at all influenced by my ex who is a trans woman herself and is unlabeled with a preference for men. Part of my reason to break up was to further explore this part of myself without outside influence or expectations. While these all seemed like valid reasons to break up with her at the time, I don’t really know anymore because everything else in our relationship was perfect.
After the breakup, she hasn’t been taking it well and I know for a fact that she’s still in love with me and would get back together if i wanted to. We are still best friends. While it’s been hard, it seems that we’re making good progress towards being just friends which is what makes my feelings now so difficult to navigate.
Last night we were hanging out and talking and the entire time, all I wanted to do was kiss her but I knew if I did it would ruin all of the progress we have made since breaking up. I have such a desire to just get back together with her, but I know in the back of my mind that nothing has changed and if we were together again i would end up feeling the same way I did when I broke up with her last time. I’m confused and stuck and I’m not sure what to do.