u/Terrible-Penalty-291

This is what it is like living next to my butthole's data center.

I used to go scoff at dog owners who bring their dogs into HEB thinking it was disgusting violation of the health code. Until I became a full time lab mix breeder down on Riverside. I soon started to make a lot of money selling my pups to the dog fighting ring. All of a sudden I could afford to do the muffler delete on my car that I always wanted to and my perspective changed. I used to be a lamo but now I am cool and very masculine. I need to share this with reddit because I have a deep seated need for validation that I am indeed cool.

Today I took 20 of my lab mixes to HEB and let them run around unleashed. The employees just let me do it because I am now cool and better than everyone else. I can do what I want.

But then I came across a family with small children. My friendly lab mixes love biting the faces off of children, but I expected the parents of the children to keep their children leashed and under control while I let my pups do as they please because I am cooler and can get away with whatever I want. Well these parents didn't have their children leashed so my pups proceeded to rip their faces right off. All I ask is that you keep your children leashed or up in their shopping cart beacuse I cannot be held responsible for your poor parenting decisions.

Let me just say this. Having a ton of lab mix dogs in HEB makes me cool, and if you complain to the manager or call the police as my pups rip your kids' faces off, well that just makes you a total lame wad and you should go cry in a corner because that is all you are good for.

I get it, I am cool, and I have cool dogs and they can do what they want. You wish you could be me, but you aren't. Too bad. I just hope sharing this perspective will help all the lamos in HEB navigate public spaces..