u/Thackery-Earwicket

I gotta clarify that I am really new to polyamory.

My partner and I have known each other for 3 years and we have officially been dating for 5 months now.

We are in an open relationship, so we are not complete newbies to ENM overall, and that agreement has been wonderful for both of us.

However, we have had bits of interest for polyamory here and there, and it’s been strange to say the least.

First time it happened was with one friend of his, amazing guy, he is my friend now too and I don’t mind the friendship with benefits we all have.

That guy himself is poly and had expressed feelings for my partner… That made me very insecure and jealous, out of nowhere I felt very protective of my partner, probably the first time I’ve ever experienced jealousy.

I THINK it felt bad for me because that friend wanted parallel polyamory, which is a very valid way to live polyamory, but for my partner and I felt very alienating and secretive even, we really value transparency and being able to get to know everyone involved, it just sounds more peaceful.

So he listened to me, agreed with me, and declined the offer. I thought that meant polyamory wasn’t for me.

Then came the second time it happened, another friend of my partner, someone slightly older, wiser and very caring of him. He recently confessed his feelings.

And I felt NO JEALOUSY, in fact, I felt extremely happy for my partner, because this friend of his is someone he really cares about deeply and can provide some of the stuff I cannot provide myself in the relationship.

I found myself smiling by the way he talked about how he felt about this, literally no jealousy at all so far.

Why do you more experienced poly folk think this happened?
Is it weird to feel jealous over one prospect, but perfectly chill over another one?

I’d love to hear any feedback, thanks!

I love animation, I really do, I love creating and designing and drawing and… Well, everything about it.

But I’m in my fourth semester of animation college and it’s honestly too much, I don’t feel like I can do it anymore, not in the insanely tight deadlines I’m handling that have made it impossible to get good grades without pretty much sacrificing my sanity.

Don’t get me wrong, I still wanna stay in college and get my degree in animation and game development.
However, not for “getting into the industry anymore.

I’ve thought of some alternative career paths that truly sound perfect for me:

1. NSFW Furrt Artist. Yes, I’m not joking. I am a part of the furry community and I’ve been doing some SFW comissions ever since I was a teenager and been paid pretty well, I love it. Something college is teaching me is discipline and time management and I think that with everything I’m learning I could set up a good following and a Patreon and work a lot without exploiting myself up to burnout.

2. Animation Teacher: I also am very patient and love teaching others! My family is full of teachers, and the idea of teaching what I love to other people and having a more stable job through that sounds like a blessing to be honest.

Maybe I could even do both, I don’t know!
It’s a hard decision but for my own hapinness I think it’s the best, I would love to hear your thoughts.

I’m a 20 year old animation student at college.
Four semesters in, only four more to go.

The first three semesters, while challenging, were somewhat manageable and I was never at risk of truly failing a class.

I struggle with AuDHD, but I think I am responsible enough to deliver things in time when they are asked in human timelines and with the right accommodations and support from my professors.
(EDIT: By accommodations I mean being open to communication and getting my questions answered, not constant extensions.)

That being said… There is ONE profesor I struggle a lot with, arguably the most important profesor since he works in the animation industry with big names such as Disney or Illumination, won’t say names cause of obvious reasons.

This professor is extremely strict, has a fame for breaking spirits inside of my college by spending a whole hour of his class giving you feedback and explaining everything you did wrong with your work.

He doesn’t like getting questions asked cause he thinks that “there ARE dumb questions that make everyone lose time, especially if it’s for clarification or something that has been already explained.”

(Guess who constantly needs clarification and asks questions due to AuDHD?)

Worst part? He ALWAYS has a point.
He knows what he is talking about, after all.

But that constant criticism has honestly jaded how I feel about his classes, especially this semester.

Long story short: My brother developed a brain tumor this semester and had to undergo an extremely dangerous surgery, that affected my workflow and made it difficult for me to get through.

All of my teachers were comprehensive and trust me already, so they didn’t mind giving me some extra time and consideration with their classes.

Not the one professor I’m talking about, he is extremely strict, unapproachable and ruthless.

Since I can’t really ask questions and therefore I only take notes of what he says the first time, I always seem to be missing something and therefore, I end up not getting good grades in my work.

I’ve tried explaining my situation to him like with my other teachers, his answer was:

“Well, I feel empathy for you, however, empathy is not a quantitative measure I can calculate in your grades, so… I can’t do anything with it.”
Ouch.

So yeah.
The point is:

Due to all of these things, Ive started getting bad grades this semester, and its almost assured to me that I will fail his class and have to take an extraordinary exam to get over with it. (That basically means delivering everything I had done wrong throughout the semester during summer.)

And seeing how I can’t seem to handle the pressure he is, and how he tells us he only does this cause “the industry is even worse”, that has left me scared for my future in animation…

I love animation.
I love creating characters, telling stories, and working with other people.

But seeing how I struggle with his class has broken my spirit a bit, and I don’t know what to do moving forward…

Could I get any advice or opinions from people in the industry too?
Is it really all doom and gloom for me?

Any words are appreciated.
Thanks for reading up until this point.

I love Luca Guadagnino’s cinema, except for that one movie that seems to glorify gr**ming (you guys know which one), but overall I think the way he talks about sex and intimacy is beyond outstanding.

That being said… Challengers is a movie I LOVED, but when I talk about it under ENM lenses I see there are so many layers to it to the point I just had to come here and ask for your thoughts.

The way I see it, this movie is about the average first-time toxic triad everyone has heard about learning that ethical-non-monogamy is a thing.

Except that now it involves tennis and a girl who lowkey comes off as sociopathic to me.

And that’s the thing: Everyone in this movie is lowkey TERRIBLE.

This is NOT ethical-non-monogamy, but rather “evil-non-monogamy-ohmygodmakeitstop”, so I don’t know if I could say it’s a form of positive representation.

(SPOILERS AHEAD)

Then we reach the ending, the final tennis match.

Art and Patrick are fighting to win over the girl they’ve been fawning over since the beginning while having an insane amount of sexual tension between each other.

The way the audio in the film is mixed focusing on the moans of the players and the way Tennis is framed as a battle for power… I think it’s meant to represent sex in a conceptual level.

And Tashi is literally watching everything in a chair, almost as high as a throne. Can it be more on the nose?

She is watching her two lovers fucking and she enjoys it, it’s as simple as that.

Then, when Art realizes Patrick has had sex with his wife, he seems strangely okay with that, he even responds with the same sign, saying “I fucked your girl too lol”.

At the end, they both just hug each other, the competition is over and no one “wins”… or maybe they all did, cause Tashi literally screams with passion after seeing such a good Tennis Match.

It’s almost like the movie is telling us “See how easy this could’ve been solved if everyone just accepted they wanted each other?” The good ending is the recognition of non-monogamous love.

Too bad we don’t get to see the aftermath of this moment, leaving the audience without knowing how these three people will walk forward towards loving each other ethically.

That is my interpretation of it.
I’d like to hear your thoughts.