u/That_Bee_592

Parent will just sit there and demand attention from spouse only, just repeatedly calling their name. I come out, see what's happening. Ask if they're ok or need help. No. Spouse is trying to make their own medical calls or banking. Showering.

I remind parent spouse is on phone. Again ask if they want MY help. Nope.

Then it's back to screaming their name. Then it's something ridiculous like the cat wants inside, or they want a snack.

This never ending black hole of attention seeking is pissing me off.

Parent suddenly stopped taking their melatonin for unknown "vibes". It suddenly stopped their advanced sundowning. Like all the bedtime shenanigans abruptly ended, which confirmed my suspicion.

Now they're not sleeping at all, slightly manic, and doing more impulsive stuff. They just decided to go on a food run yesterday and got outside and into the wrong car passenger seat, unattended, didn't tell anyone they wanted to go into town, weren't dressed appropriately.

This sucks. It's either sleepwalking zombie or totally amped up manic.

On recall by USA Food & Drug Administration

PRED MILD (Prednisolone Acetate Ophthalmic Suspension)

Company: AbbVie Inc.; Allergen, Inc. (an AbbVie company)

Manufacturing Location: France

Scope: 2,736 bottles (0.12%, 10 mL)

Drug Purpose: Steroid eye drop used to treat eye inflammation

Recall Reason: Failed stability specifications; this could affect the drug’s effectiveness and shelf life.

Recall Date: May 18, 2026

Link: FDA Enforcement Report 

Prednisolone Acetate Ophthalmic Suspension, USP, 1%

Company: Lupin Pharmaceuticals Inc.

Manufacturing Location: Pithampur, India by Lupin Limited

Scope: 2,530,182 bottles of 5 mL, 10 mL, and 15 mL prednisolone acetate ophthalmic suspension

Drug Purpose: Steroid eye drop used to treat eye inflammation

Recall Reason: Presence of foreign substance (Because this recall was just announced on July 1, 2026, there are no additional details listed at the time of publication).

Recall Date: June 4, 2026

I have one dementia parent and one scatterbrained DIY type that never finishes anything. It seems to be their life goal to destroy every bathroom and make it as uncomfortable as possible. Dementia parent keeps clogging sinks and flushing huge wads of paper and trash, then locking the door overnight. DIY parent keeps disconnecting sinks, turning off the water main, etc. fully uninstalling toilets for 24 hours.

I am in perimenopause and this is bullshit. I physically can't go without a flushing toilet, and had to switch from cups because I'm not rinsing hygiene products in the kitchen sink.

Today dementia parent hid a waste bin of my bloody trash before I could get to housekeeping. Where? I don't know. There's just a basket of period trash "somewhere" in the house which I need to scavenger hunt.

How did they also go through this for decades and just delete that memory bank!?

Parent with advanced Parkinson's keeps projecting their limitations and insecurities on me. Things like; I can't drive at night, I can't climb stairs, I can't eat alone. I need to immediately come inside if there's a storm. I need to tell someone when I'm home alone.

For context I am a super athletic 40 something capable of self supported endurance sports. I could run a marathon tomorrow. I've lived alone without roommates for decades.

Logically I know their world is small and they're experiencing cognitive decline and mild dementia, but this is exhausting. This level of gaslighting is pissing me off, even if I understand the dementia logic. It's giving me the ick in a kind of Munchausen by proxy way? Like they're on this campaign to convince me that I'm the one who is disabled, not them?

Parent is lashing out because they feel childish not being left alone. They have an atypical syndrome with severe lapses in judgement, motor skills. Choking risks. Can't drive. Can't even walk to the car alone. Can make some phone calls to a list of contacts but anything to an outside agency like a pharmacy (or 911 probably) goes to hell. They wouldn't be able to evacuate themselves or pets in a weather emergency. They don't like me, don't want me here, and think they can be left alone on the couch for hours. That isn't reality.

They can't be left alone. I'm tired of getting screamed at. This is exhausting.

Parent was always "off" in a way I couldn't pin down. Like it seemed like they had a mix of every possible personality disorder, highly neurotic, hoarding, etc.

When I was a kid they had this habit of control, that maybe even to a kid seemed within reason (dresses being too low cut, not being allowed to go places with teenagers they hadn't met, etc). Sort of still within the realm of parental logic.

Then by my 30s it slid into "you can't drive at night" "you can't go on international business trips" "you aren't safe at the gym". We always just lied or joked it off.

Now it's so far into brain damage it's "you can't eat lunch". I just flat said No. They kept repeating it. Just No. No. Nope. I finally told them we could talk to the neurologist if she wanted anxiety med suggestions. Then she just sat there glaring at me.

The look of defeat was honestly vindicating. I finally realized this was never an anxiety thing, it was always an angry sabotage. She's lost the capacity to mask it under plausible concern.

Y'all, I'm in one of those weeks. Parent got it into their loop that they need to do something about an incidental lab finding. They don't have pain or symptoms. They're already on the most likely drug anyway. They definitely won't comply with any lifestyle changes, and I'm skeptical any advanced surgery won't end in hospice.

And they're throwing a tantrum about needing to see family member's specialist, no referral, who doesn't actually treat this. On the same appointment.

I'm happy to take them to their GP for reassurance or something. I don't want to say "no you're terminally ill and don't need this" , but everything they're fixated on is the wrong bureaucratic process. I'm fcking losing it.

Thought experiment; US specifically, do you think your parents should ethically be allowed to vote? Mine can no longer cook, read, drive, shower alone, or make online purchases without getting scammed. They're filling out a ballot. (Fairly low stakes primary, some positions only have one or no candidates running).

Just a broad picture concern, how many people with full blown dementia are making these choices? It feels manipulative.

Parent is going to bed at inappropriately early times and expecting the entire house to sundown with them. Closing blinds mid afternoon, getting agitated that the house should be locked and quiet before other people have even started dinner. They don't want to move to a secluded bedroom because of fall fears, so we're all supposed to also go to bed while it's sunny and stay there for 15!!! Hours. I can't do this as an athletic 40 something.

I am trying one last gentle white lie to stop the relentless amount of texts. "I'm getting spammed by political junk mail and turned off my texts."

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I cannot keep interacting with parent in the way they want. They're love bombing me with non stop cute texts, that feel like reassurance fishing, or a medication high. I don't want this many "love notes" from a parent, and they aren't clocking the social cues that their behavior is inappropriate and off-putting. I'm in the same building and they're crashed out on the couch with their dopamine meds and texting me crap like "I miss you soooo much!!!"

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I'm at a loss as to what to do if this doesn't work. I don't want to tell a dying parent to stop saying "I love you" but this is becoming a massive nuisance.

I am doing so badly with this household. Mid 40s, super organized, also probably fast moving adhd. The kind of person that does well in concierge, restaurants.

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Everything, and I mean everything, parent does is chaos, illogical, dangerous, cross contamination. Running the dishwasher without soap, derailing the dish rack and breaking everything, mopping kitchen with bathroom and pet mops, missing the toilet. I could go on for hours.

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I don't care what this means for them. MY attention span is destroyed. There's so much nonsense going on out of the corner of my eye I can't even deposit checks or schedule car repairs let alone deal with big concerns like job hunting.

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This is becoming a death by a thousand papercuts for someone who thrives in order.

What is the "acceptable" amount of falls with these cases? If you asked me, "zero" with major home modifications and a doctor visit for every incident.

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Parents aren't working with me, aren't accepting mobility aids, aren't willing to reorganize their clutter. They've made some changes, but half asses a lot of them (waffling about grab bars in useful places, etc). Parent won't wait for help, won't tell me if they need a spotter, etc. Everything from my point is "worst possible recipe for disaster" and I'm being out voted with things like paid home care and dealing with their hoard.

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I saw the ER bill from one single fall with no serious injuries and that visit alone billed out the price of a budget car. This can't continue, how does this go on for years?!

I'm getting super frustrated with elderly father. He's still capable , primary caregiver to mother, who can't be left alone. Any time I schedule a grocery pickup, or laundry run he just decides he should leave too. Getting their groceries, going to fast food. Then mother does this dramatic "everyone can leave me alone!!!" She's been falling and we're already at 3 injuries and a ct scan this year.

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It isn't sinking in that she requires full-time supervision from an adult driver. I frigging live here now.

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It's so stupid, just a "I'll go to grocery at noon. You go to laundry at one" is fine. I'm loading up the car for an errand I announced and he's leaving too.

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What even is this, it's a completely unnecessary boomer failure of communication?

I hate that attitude that "your parents took care of you as a baby, now it's your turn". I was fully potty trained and able to turn on the tv and find a little snack by age 4.

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This crap has been going on for a clinical 7 years now, with a 35 year history of mental health, personality disorders, and hoarding leading up to this.

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This is a really delusional message that needs to stop. Hanging out with a 3 year old is nothing like a hallucinating, incontinent, fall risk 75 year old.

I'm looking for a word, and don't know this industry

Is there some sort of organizational therapy that comes into their home and reminds them how to clean? Like an occupational person or professional organizer?

I'm struggling A LOT with unhelpful cleaning, cross contamination, them thinking they can still do chores and doing an absolute goddamn awful job, but getting angry if I try to redo it. Telling me the neurologist said they should continue doing what the can ( honestly screw that guy. He hasn't been to the house, and they can't do any of this)

Stuff like "mopping" the bathroom with no disinfectant using the pet mop. Unloading one rack of the dishwasher, then putting dirty plates in, then telling everyone it's clean.

They're furiously angry if I suggest they've lost the capacity to do this.

Parent is back on their "clog the toilet, get ashamed, abruptly make everyone go to bed." They sleep 13 hours a night and have a commode and don't care. They're shutting me out of any other alternative guest room. Like, I'm an experienced backpacker and will find a bush or bottle if need be, but it's everyone's denial that this is the warning sign they can't be alone. We're flushing pad wrappers or plastic trash nightly now.

Everything feels like quicksand.

I cannot and physically will not go without a toilet for 13 hours. It's these constant failures of "what a house should be" that are just grinding me into ruin.

Insisting we keep rotting food. Shutting the blinds at 4pm. Opening every cabinet door. Piling stuff in front of exits. Feeding the animals stuff they shouldn't eat. They tried to throw a full metal trashcan down the stairs last night and just froze when I gently suggested we rethink that. Wasn't a thought behind their eyes as to any goal or need.

I was occupied in the bathroom and repeatedly told them to wait 2 minutes before answering their questions. Anyway, they were eating out of the trash. I just had a full Gordon Ramsay meltdown.

Y'all I can't do this. This is too much.

How do you deal with neurotic waif type attention seeking? Like they're still capable of most bathing and toilet use, but absolutely collapse and demand higher help if in a different, non preferred room.

It's a toilet. It's identical to all the other toilets. They've lived in this house for 20 years.

It feels like weaponized attention seeking, like the entire household is expected to drop everything. And I saw some reel from a therapist about not doing all the problem solving for light daily tasks because it leads to more rapid intellectual decline.

Above all else, the constant destruction of the house is getting to me. Every day they've clogged a drain, clogged the toilet, broken door knobs, used towel racks as grab bars, smashed trash into the disposal.

Now they're on "let's stack stuff in front of the main entrance door, then fight about it". I'm spending all day moving crap away from the fire exit while they sulk and complain.

I'm tired of arguing about how homes function. When this ends I'm finding a tidy apartment where everything just works. This is destroying my attention span and frankly will to live.