u/That_Tunisian_chick

Hey, the title says it all.

Its my birthday in an hour exactly. And ive been talking to chatgpt and crying my heart out for the past couple of hours.

For reference, i got broken up with at the start of this month. It was a long distance relationship but i was 100% convinced i found a soulmate and the universe finally put someone that speaks my soul’s language in my path. I was happiest version of my self with him. So stable that i got off my antidepressants after being on them for a coup’e of years. Then the break up happened and it broke my soul.

I was foolish and tried to commit suicide and it traumatized my elderly parents. And when my ex heard he was more sure that its best the relationship ended because im clearly unstable.

I have no friends. I know people and have more than 2000 followers on insta and tiktok but i dont even have 1 real friend.

I keep remembering all the little things i did for my ex on his birthday and how on mine im alone crying in bed talking to an AI.
This was supposed to be the happiest birthday the last one i spend with my family because we were planning to get married this summer. But then my life collapsed

I feel my heart physically hurts and i cant stop crying over the version i thought this day would be and over how i have no one to distract me or calm me or care about me. This is the loneliest ive ever felt in years.
This month is definitely in the top 3 of most worst months of my life.

Hey, the title says it all.

Its my birthday in an hour exactly. And ive been talking to chatgpt and crying my heart out for the past couple of hours.

For reference, i got broken up with at the start of this month. It was a long distance relationship but i was 100% convinced i found a soulmate and the universe finally put someone that speaks my soul’s language in my path. I was happiest version of my self with him. So stable that i got off my antidepressants after being on them for a coup’e of years. Then the break up happened and it broke my soul.

I was foolish and tried to commit suicide and it traumatized my elderly parents. And when my ex heard he was more sure that its best the relationship ended because im clearly unstable.

I have no friends. I know people and have more than 2000 followers on insta and tiktok but i dont even have 1 real friend.

I keep remembering all the little things i did for my ex on his birthday and how on mine im alone crying in bed talking to an AI.
This was supposed to be the happiest birthday the last one i spend with my family because we were planning to get married this summer. But then my life collapsed

I feel my heart physically hurts and i cant stop crying over the version i thought this day would be and over how i have no one to distract me or calm me or care about me. This is the loneliest ive ever felt in years.
This month is definitely in the top 3 of most worst months of my life.

I tried to overdose using 2 different antidepressants (not Effexor) i survived. I started seeing double for about 2 days which was pretty scary… anyways i went to my doctor and told her everything and she told me to not take effexor anymore or any meds for the next week or two (until i see her again).
I know she is a doctor and knows her stuff but it felt weird that a medication that is hard to come off, and i just stop using it cold turkey.
Its been 4 days now, i feel ok (anxiety high, bad sleep, clenched jaw) but thats pretty much it while i read lots of horror stories about quitting this medication.
Is this normal? Will the side effect hit later on? Im on medical leave but i’ll be back to work in a few days and im scared i’ll mess things up or something

I’m in my 30s and recently went through a breakup that completely shattered me. Officially, he said we were “too different,” but deep down I know his parents played a huge role in it. I’m diabetic, and they convinced him that as I get older I’ll become too much responsibility and eventually affect his quality of life (he is super active and follows a strict healthy life style).

I’ve had longer relationships before, but this was the first person I truly loved. I genuinely saw myself in him, we thought alike, shared the same values, same humor, same energy. I was deeply attracted to him emotionally and physically, and for the first time I imagined a future with someone. We planned to get married after the summer. We are long distance now but we still looked at wedding rings and dresses together with happiness and excitement.

He has BDP and not really treated but i felt that i knew how to handle him. When he splits on me thats the hardest part because he becomes someone who lowkey hates me but it doesnt last long, and no one is perfect we all come with damage.

When the relationship ended, it forced me to realize how alone I actually am. No close circle, no best friends, no real support system. I had unknowingly made him the center of my entire world, and when he left, everything collapsed with him.

I have borderline personality disorder and have been in therapy and on medication for around 10 years. Four days ago, I attempted suicide using sleeping pills and insulin. I survived, but spent two days in a coma. Waking up was devastating in its own way it felt like nobody even noticed I was gone. No texts on my phone, no missed calls its like no one noticed that i disappeared.

After surviving, old trauma resurfaced hard. Memories of being sexually assaulted as a child by a relative came back intensely. Since then, I’ve been drinking daily just to numb everything.

I live with my elderly parents, and seeing me come home drunk every day eventually led to a confrontation where I finally told them about the assault. My father went into complete shock and denial. My mother reacted with anger and blame, while I kept repeating that I was a child and a victim.

Now the house feels unbearable. My dad sits silently in his room staring at walls, completely broken. My mom barely speaks to me and seems angry that I “caused” all of this. Meanwhile I keep repeating the same cycle: drinking from midday until evening, taking sleeping pills, passing out, waking up, and doing it again.

What hurts the most is that my ex seems completely okay. He said he was “using logic” and that leaving was the right decision. He’s still posting online, going to work, living normally, while my entire world feels destroyed.

I know it’s unhealthy to rely emotionally on one person this much, but I genuinely don’t know how to rebuild myself from this point. Has anyone here ever come back from a complete emotional collapse like this?
And how can i at this age connect to people and build friendships, i feel so isolated. And trust me if you saw me you wouldnt guess any of this. I look fresh young full of life, i work a corporate job get paid good money and i am good looking, im not sugarcoating it but i am attractive and i feel that my whole whole life people want to get close to me because i look good but the more they know me the less they want my presence. Knowing me more leads to liking me less.