u/Thazmak

I want to destroy myself mentally and physically. I want someone to beat the shit out of me, abuse me. I want cuts all over my body. I just want to feel worse. There's something wrong with me, I just don't know what it is. I don't even know myself.

I feel like I'm such a bad friend whenever my friends try to vent with me. It's because I don't know how to comfort and find the right words to say to them. I have so many things to say but I can't exactly find the right words for it other than "It's okay" or "Are you feeling alright?" And it sucks because I know they want to be comforted but I just don't know how to. It's even worse if it's face to face and they're bawling their eyes out and I'm just here standing not knowing what to say. I don't even know why they always choose me to vent their problems out. Maybe I could be their comfort person, but when it comes to situations like this, I have no idea what I'm doing. I wish I could help you out but I just can't.

I don't know what to feel about myself, I don't know if I'm depressed, I don't know what I want to do with my life, I don't know what to do after I graduate, I don't know what's going to happen to me, I just don't know. I don't even know if I'm going to make it past 18. If I could end myself, maybe I would. I have those thoughts everyday but I don't really plan on doing it. I don't know anymore.