u/TheBeeSharps88

Is it just our hardcore scene or is it everywhere??

Every week or two a rumor surfaces or a falsified-screen shot or an anonymous tip gets forwarded and bands take turns canceling each other

Once a year or two a real true tragic situation is brought up and its awful but honestly i have lost count in 5 years. 90% of it is just total bull shit but it means friendships get ruined and bookerw just roll their eyes at local bands

Ive been bed-rotting since Saturday. I am grateful for the chance to.

But im not at the -beach or taking my kid out to a park-status, yet.

For those not fully decompressed yet, I hope youre able to keep cool and hope Summer saves us a slice! Happy & Safe Canada Day/Independence Day, folks.

How are you and whats your go-to recharge ritual?

I am cycling thru this letting go/playing cool/wall era.

Possible twin flame has brought me back to my values and given me courage to try new and scary things. Through channeled msgs or downloads or imagination, who really knows. I spent real time on a project that came from (several) one-sided "guided" conversations though.

A really couple amazing convos between us took place the past month in real life. They shared fairly vulnerable matters or emotions, briefly and appropriately. I was more willing to talk or follow up, instead of feel scripted/calculated. It felt like growth was happening .

Then we were both at this special event together last week, but I was so flustered that I guess I put up a wall and didnt let my eyes wander or engage with them at all. Im awkward 98% of the time but this time I am kicking my self.

It was a highly anticipated event and i always hoped they would be there. But I didnt really expect them to be there, either, so I guess my senses got over loaded. They didn't approach me either. There was not a lot of distance, at times I felt the glances. I felt my heart in my throat. I felt my palms sweat which unusual for me. I felt my hands being embraced at times. And warmth.. and yet, we both remained quiet and disengaged from others for those brief moments before moving on to other places and circles at the party.

Still kicking my self. If I put up a wall and make them run again, or if im in fact running...

How did we actually NOT end up uniting or talking at all. Their inspo basically drove me towards that entire situation. Its weird.

Maybe they were in shock or awe of the scenario. If 5D convos are real, but yet they know we never spoke in real life abour my special project, imagine how trippy that would be?

I literally dont understand or trust my sanity any more.

I mean hey I still did some thing. But im real dissapointed that night didnt directly.lead.to any reunion or interaction... im worried they reject me.or are influenced by the others or are doubting my reception to them, or ashamed to be with me

an individual I work with has been Liking my dating profile. I block them every time. I periodically delete my profile. And then when I restart it, within a day, there they are, Liking my profile. At least 3x this yeae.

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It doesnt say or imply much, 1 standard photo. I am not really ashamed by that on its own. The problem for me is, they have a kid with whom I worked with this year and that kid absolutely ignores me and refuses to look at me or engage with me and it made me look bad a few months ago. It also resulted in discipline for the student.

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Then I was invited to a conference with student parent admin and 2 other staff. About a month ago. And they went and liked my profile last night. Now im willing to bet comments have been made by that coworker either around their kid or to/amongst their team. Now I am getting bothered and ruminating.

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Im considering how to make a complaint because it seems like if I address them in person (at work) it will create more conflict. They also have a bigger team than I do. But I feel if I dont mention this, im going to continue to look bad for totally missing the mark with that family.

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I hardly ever acknowledged them before. We are not in the same department or schedule at all, just brief "hi" in the hallway when I realized whos kid I was working with. I think its about time they stop. But I sense damage has occured.

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Am I being delusional/defensive? Its numerous times, in fact they used to try and add me on socials well over 10 years ago. Then it started on the dating site after we started working in the same building.

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I have taken 1 screen shot of the recent event.

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Do I approach the admin team in-house or just go direct to HR? Or go to my union??

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Im feeling like a fairly fortunate situation haa happened where theres small class sizes and well-trained motivated, teachers. It kind of feels apparent at more times than not that I am not really fitting in to the mix and I need to target why.

Weekly and usually before class, I greet and hear about the upcoming lesson. We all have a grasp and sense of whar potential behaviours will occur and the teacher is quick to re-situate or redirect students who misbehave. I am on my feet a lot, gesturing to redirect, praising effort, gathering supplies if someone is low on anything, I get it. I stay off my phone. I dont over-try to make chit chat

But because of my initiative and focus, im worried im not really welcomed or am awkward in moments of coaching social mishaps. Sometimes the teacher just gets to the situation quicker, maybe I lack intervening before triggers or emotions get out of control or just am naive.

In previous months during escalations, I documented behaviour that was recurring and reviewed with the teacher a change in seating, alternative learning spaces, and updated the admin if the dynamics. For weeks we practiced basics like raising hands, holding personal comments for after the lesson, keeping chairs ans legs on the floor, not being disrespectful.

Its decreased in intensity but still happens a few times weekly,

Most commonly, its just disruptive verbal behaviour, some times its nonsense or just out of turn, other times its to provoke classmates.

Facts are its late in the year and kids are over the demands and each other.

I want more effective intervention strategies but I also dont want to keep looking like im trying to out perform someone who seems to resent needing me. I cant settle where the fault lies.

No one I work with is rude or confrontational, but im still feeling Iced out over all. I just suck at chir chat maybe

Do songs activr kundalini or strength the ties or mean somethin?.

I have has this in many times, in sober, quiet times too, just suddenly, but more seldom and muted in comparison to music or mu sh rooms.

What is occurring in these situations?

Maybe the weirdest sync is how the songs most epic lyric or songs climax tends to be on our lucky number. Its such a powerful, invigorating force. I can see their face and feel their heart.

Im supporting high schools in a specific ed morning block and then 2 mainstream classes in the PM.

The teachers ha e strong management skills, however the academics are so off-level that behaviours arise frequently each block. Im the only mainstream AM EA and dont get to see them all in the PM. Maybe half.

So since they lost PM supports there's been targeted bullying and other behaviour like skipping and hostility in the AM and PM classes. I see the trend and want to target it with the higher ups.

I see warning signs of a bigger collapse.

When I type things out it all seems clear but to go talk face to face means often, I get rushed and overlooked.

I dont get to talk to the other 4 paras in the building because they're on different lunch or departure schedules. Different students entirely.

I dont fit in with teachers and am just alone at lunches my self and feel like all my observations arw just drowning and unmanageable.

My admin doesnt do check ins or respond to emails requesting a behaviour update from me

I feel like im just being squeezed out or bored and bothered to tears because no real team work or collaboration is happening. Time is just passing and no real growth, regulation or learning is being achieved. But if i tell the VP or the teachers that in plain words or dare share data ive collected ill seem disgruntled. This is politics at play, right?