Tragic news out of UGA, as a foreign exchange student from Antarctica passed away today from heat exhaustion. Mr Chilly Willy Smith was only 4 years old, and was studying at UGA Agriculture school, and dreamed of being a farmer. He was reportedly a member of the Flippy Flappy Fly Fraternity and will be missed by his entire colony.
ACCPD Sheriff John Q Williams held a press conference this morning to confirm there are two new gangs in town, the Dutch Bros, and 7Brew. He asks for everyone to be cautious while out and about, especially in the Atlanta Highway area, which is where both gangs claim territory, and where they gather in massive groups, causing chaos in the area. They are very easy to spot by their colors, and the fact they are usually high on "juice" and "beans". There has been no reports of violence yet, but Sheriff Williams is giving the heads up, as he says both gangs seem to be low IQ and easily manipulated by marketing, which is usually a recipe for mob mentality.
I was walking around UGA and I saw a man's hole emitting gas outside of the dining hall. What were they serving, cyclospora flavored tacos?
Need to find the cheapest avocado's in town as I need to get more calories into my diet, and eating 1-2 per day can get expensive, figure J&J would be cheapest. I would prefer organic, but not a deal breaker if super cheap.
Hey, what's up y'all, no, I didn't lose my gay bar, but I am really looking for a Lost themed gay bar in Athens, I NEED TO FIND ME A SMOKE MONSTER ASAP!
I am happy to report that Athens streets will be a little safer after local sugar pusher Willy Wanker has been arrested for running an illegal candy distribution network. Luckily a fine citizen, who we will refer to as Karen White, reported some teens selling candy in the Alps area. After hearing this ACCPD immediately investigated and apprehended the offenders, and soon after SWAT raided Willy's residence. The teens and Willy were arrested without incident, and are now in custody. Local district attorney Kalki Yalamanchili has announced he will attempt to get the teens tried and convicted as adults. As for Willy, his case is being referred to the Federal Government, and he is facing 35 years for possession of a sugary substance, conspiracy to commit candy distribution, and tax evasion. It is estimated Willy was making up to $100 a day, all to fund his silly outfit addiction. ACCPD is also investigating Willy for helping run high end lemonade stands in more prominent neighborhoods. Good job Karen and ACCPD!
Hello, me(26F) and my friend(25F) are in town and are wondering if anyone is interested in punani sticker swap? If you don't know what a punani sticker swap is then I'd rather not explain it fully here, but involves some "scissors" and lots of lube.
Hello all, me and my fiancé are coming to Athens next summer to get married and would like to rent out a bar that we most likely won't get shot at. Which one would you say would be best? But just to be safe and be prepared for the worst, would level 3 armor plating work, or should we go with the level 4? Maybe do level 3 for the guests, and level 4 for the bride and groom? Thanks!
If you want to be happy the US has been around, and improved a lot in those 250 years, cool, but to say it's been 250 years of freedom seems way off the mark, for many reasons
What a Day! Got stuck in traffic on Atlanta Highway for 2 hours, then a red light for 5 minutes, got to my apartment on Eastside, power was out, went to Athfest, it sucked, went to Duke & Dottie's, got groped and beat up by two teenagers, sideways Kroger was out of everything I wanted, went back home, still no power, and now some asshole keeps driving by my apartment in his loud car, I hear booming coming from somewhere, and just now I seen someone peeping into my window I LOVE THIS CITY!
Who is stealing my smaller sex toys bro? Also, can anyone recommend a good proctologist, my butt hurts for some reason?
It seemed Mr. Clause really needed the day off to prepare for a trip, but Trader Joe's wasn't hearing it, and then fired him for calling in.
Ahoy there maties, I am a Pastafarian Pirate and I am looking for fellow Pastafarian Pirates to plunder the pasta and grog sections of grocery stores, and if there is other booty around to plunder we can give it the old heave ho too, as us Pastafarian Pirates need love too. ARRRRGGGHHHH!
In what now in hindsight seems like a lock of the century, Black guy Derek Fisher easily beats White guy Tim Denson in the local erection race. Tim tried to put on a good showing, but just couldn't get his campaign to grow, while Derek came out swinging, and had a rock solid campaign from start to finish.