u/TheJapanMistake

I'm a 3rd-kyu in Okinawan Goju-Ryu but there are several problems with my karate that I feel embarassed about,

Such as my iliopsoas/hip flexors being super weak making it difficult to kick with proper form by using the hip flexors,

My kicks in general being pretty low due to a lack of mobility/strength in those movements...

My shikodachi being trash

And my inability to comprehend a lot of newer concepts/lack of choreography.

I see lower belts than me grasp concepts super fast and being able to stand in shikodachi etc

Just for me it's really difficult. Presumably because I grew up in front of the sofa and almost never moving so I have terrible proprioception.

I get corrected a LOT during class

- btw I do train outside of class hours so I'm not entirely lazy

TLDR; my karate is terrible even at brown belt

Literally I have no method that works to eliminate this addiction and I've given up on trying.

People may say it's "not an addiction" because it's not substance abuse so it doesn't count or whatever. So I'm never taken seriously when I talk about this.

But it's honestly exhausting because every day that I have a free day, I tend to spend like 3-7 hours in bed online before getting up.

Even now it's 14:15 because I scrolled too much: I woke up at a decent time, 10:00 and could've gone out. But I have to shower and everything and going out now, what is there to do? Most shrines close after 15:00, the rest are only open until 17:00.

And then there's only what, like, food? To enjoy. By myself.

The sun goes down at 18:00 so it's not like I have a lot of daylight hours to enjoy the sun left.

It'd be one thing if I had people to hang out with but, and maybe this is because I'm deeply flawed as a person, right now I have zero people to hang out with.

So I feel zero motivation to get up.

Genetically I'm more prone to addiction to others. My brothers are alcoholics, everyone in the family enjoys snus and can't go a day without it.

To describe how utterly impossible it is to get rid of this addiction would be a humongous task. I've tried everything, trust me.

Not possible, not one bit possible. Trust me.

It sucks. 14:20, and I'm debating what to do. The festival is already over, it started at 10:00 and ended at 14:00.

So now I have nothing to do. Nothing on my own anyway. All the cool spots are an hour away by train, but by then it'll be 16:00 because I have to shower first.

The day is practically already over.

I feel like every time someone else is angry against me it's somehow justified and they'll have someone defending them being angry against me,

Whereas when I get angry against someone else it's usually trivialized, that someone else will be defended and it's always that I'm being overly emotional/ridiculous/unstable somehow.

I'm a bit torn. I'm on a working holiday in Japan which expires by the end of the year, and the original plan was to go back to Sweden,

but I've applied for (without expectations), and somehow recieved multiple offers for jobs within Europe offering relocation processes etc... In Mallorca, Spain for one.

And I just don't know whether to go back to Sweden when my visa expires or go somewhere else...

Even if I go back to Sweden the plan is to move somewhere else eventually. I just haven't been in Spain at all so I have no idea whether I'd like it there and I don't speak the language...

I made so many plans for adventures within the Nordics fully ready to come back home...

TL;DR Do I go back to Sweden when my visa expires or move to another country (Spain)?

Don't know if this is interesting to anyone but I wanted to write anyway.

I'm a Swede practicing Okinawan Goju Ryu currently at brown belt- I practiced for three years until brown belt in Sweden and now I'm in Japan (not Okinawa, mainland) practicing in the same organization.

I've noticed some structural differences between the two dojos, though it's probably not enough of a sample size to generalize:

1. In the Swedish dojo it's more "do do do" with more visual instruction, and short verbal corrections. I assume because the Japanese instructors didn't speak much English/Swedish- so the current Swedish instructors also don't speak too much whilst instructing. Though they'll still explain to you more deeply if you ask, (but almost nobody is brave enough to ask).

Example: When doing a too short Zenkutsudachi- a Swedish instructor might say "deeper! It's ZENkutsudachi!"

And gradually correct it one thing at a time.

In the Japanese dojo I get corrected more deeply on a fundamental level, with long explanations for why something is incorrect and why the other way is correct. We still practice, but there are more long, sciency explanations.

Example: When doing a too short Zenkutsudachi- the Japanese instructors might say- "Your legs are long so instead of doing a higher Zenkutsudachi like us, you should do a deeper one. Also make sure to keep your upper body straight when doing it.... Also..." Correcting everything at once.

2. Swedish dojo has a higher focus on correct form in the strength training we do with push ups and such. Do twenty or fourty strict, perfect push ups. There's a higher focus on form as to prevent injury- and lower grades are allowed to do push ups on the knees if they can't do normal push ups.

Japanese dojo? Higher focus on endurance and amount. Everyone does 100 push ups together. Sometimes it's 110-120 push ups. Sensei may say it's just 50, but it ends up being 100.

3. Small things:

In Sweden nobody bats an eye if your sleeves are rolled up. And for a while nobody did at the Japanese dojo- but it was apparently more that they didn't notice rather than the sleeves rolled up being allowed (in Sweden more people than me rolled up their sleeves).

In Japan Black belts and higher ranks stand up first in order. which is more of an ideal than something that's 100% followed.

* Swedish dojo has an edge over the Japanese dojo in a few things:
In Sweden, we do bunkai, as well as renzoku-bunkai on both sides. In Japan, it's only the right side.

In Sweden, we also practice how to fall. In the Japanese dojo, you don't. I assume it's because Japanese people are already taught Judo in school, but I still think it's a good habit that we practice how to fall every time we have to get to the ground in Sweden.

* We also do some ground-fighting in the Swedish dojo, and more practical fighting.

A few things that give the Japanese dojo an edge:

Participation in local competitions. (The Swedish one I go to abstains from competitions). Practicing two styles of kumite - point sparring and practical- when we actually do practice.

More specifically written requirements for gradings. In Sweden- we get a short list that doesn't cover everything needed.

Obviously, actual correct pronounciation of japanese words. (In Sweden some people seem to say "Jetski" instead of "ki o tsuke", for example).

The Japanese dojo has a mirror, whereas the Swedish dojo expects you to learn everything internally, preferably without using a mirror.

Ippon-kumite is also freer in the Japanese dojo and more strict in the Swedish one.

Both dojos are very high quality however and the end result of technical prowess is the same.

They're simply different paths up the same mountain.

I might try to be kind and help, or buy something for someone, but each time I feel emotionally distant, because I'm assuming they're just pretending to appreciate it.

I don't think I can form meaningful friendships, or relationships in any way. So I also avoid asking for peoples contact info etc. As not to bother them/be creepy.

The people from my current job say that they'll throw a party for me when I leave (when my visa expires) but I'm planning on trying to avoid that and be discrete when leaving.

It's subtle and it doesn't affect my ability to function. My therapist even said it's fine and nothing to really fix since I'm functional.

There's also the fact that people constantly say "work/(hobby space) isn't for making friends/relationships" so I've conditioned myself to follow that as a rule.

We used to have movie nights since we lived in the same apartment-

He had a projector and he'd make these super delicious drinks that he'd make me drink,

Sometimes he'd make food.

We'd watch films from 22:00-07:00 in the morning.

He'd give me celsius energy drinks, or tell me to buy them in advance, or make his own.

More than that he's just a really great guy and I'd (and did) totally just buy alcohol and such for the two of us, it's not just the stuff he gave.

Movie nights, talk about stuff as we get drunk. Cozy apartment.

Sometimes we'd watch some Indian films I didn't like, but even that was kinda fun with the alcohol.

I'd show some karate joint lock moves on him and since he used to be a bully he showed me better ways to do the technique.

Now I've moved countries and he'll move back to India by the time I'm back home.

Damn.

For a while now I've felt like everything is meaningless-

I've spent so much time prepping to move to Japan, and now that I'm here, it's underwhelming...

So I just lost all sorts of meaning and willingness to work hard except for work...

I won one round at the karate tournament last weekend. After thinking hard work doesn't pay off at all and thinking I'd lose- I won one round.

I had prepped for like a month, training outside of dojo-hours- thinking it wasn't enough for anything at all. But with this...

I'm starting to feel like working hard on my goals again.

I haven't felt this way in ages.

And there's another tournament in October.

Anyway, it's small, and a bit silly.

I'm a 3rd kyu brown belt in Okinawan Goju Ryu. Constantly ridiculed for my lack of mobility as a brown belt lol

I'm just... Not interested in that part of karate too much.... The kata don't involve high kicks...

I mean, I would like to be able to do high kicks but I don't like training for them... Or stretching at home for that matter...

I guess I just don't see a clear progression for how to build up to high kicks and disagree with the methods presented to me?

I don't know what my goal is with writing this.

3rd kyu. I had my first ever Karate competition. I won only the first round at the Kata competition - but I recieved tons of praise from sensei and senpai for my kata✨✨✨

That counts as a win, right?

(I did shisochin,

I lost at the second round because I hadn't practiced the second kata as much.)