u/TheSecondGigibunny0

I’ve been on 20mg for half a year, although I originally started on 10mg. I’m barely able to talk to my GP or get changes done in an acceptable time so getting reassurance on Reddit is the best thing I can get right now.
For most of my life I’ve managed story ideas every day. I’d research, draw, imagine scenes and dialogue, worldbuild, etc. I’d pace around my house and public places thinking about them, and even use them as mind safe spaces when I couldn’t think about crushes or videogame fixations.
Although I had trouble doing dirty-work like drafting and planning. I’ve always had trouble forming and organising any of those tasks. But other than that, I was having a jolly time.

I went on 20mg doses of immediate-release Ritalin after 10mg stopped working, and with it I can, for two hours, use it to help do that story dirty-work. It makes that kind of stuff suddenly feel available and able to be done, like my brain can suddenly talk and get things together. But outside of those 2 hours, my abilities to do those, alongside the other story doings, have been destroyed. My brain feels completely blocked. I can’t conceptualise, process, or even start any ideas or concepts. This also happens with ideas I’ve already had in my head. Not even things like images or text show up. It’s agony processing any questions I ask myself. My brain is just blunt and immobile.

This is not good, as now I have no safe thoughts to engage with. Thinking about real life brings distress, and media isn’t safe either. I have nothing to distract myself from thinking negative things, such as depressed or anxious thoughts. The multiple-hours-long terrible crash doesn’t help. My hobby has been taken away. I feel so bored and mentally pained daily.

As I said, I’m stuck with this due to inaccessibility of my GP, who is the only accessible one in my area that is qualified to deal with ADHD meds, alongside everything else I have. I can’t stop taking my Ritalin: I was off it for 2 weeks once without the problematic effects lessening at all, and it was terrible enough that I gave in.
Reddit can’t change really change anything, but I’d at least like to know if anyone else has dealt with this situation, and if it could actually just be a placebo effect I’ve given myself that I can dig out of, or something.

We are going to start on Sunday the 14th, 4 PM ACST (Australian Central Standard Time). The sapphire potions are a mix of normals and a few parties.

evilyn105 (me): 834 normals, 250 parties, might drop a few party favours too if I remember. Will start in my den but I might travel to public servers at times to bless the random peoples. Will try making space in my friends list as much as I can. I have 3 hours worth of den party potions so it would be handy to be traded some (I have nothing worth to give back though sorry).

gigibunny0: 969 normals, 101 parties. Staying in Jamaa Township. May not buddy.

Breaks are probably going to happen. If by unfortunate circumstances we fail to do the drops then we’ll try to reschedule. Disconnections will probably happen. Those left out will not be given good chances to get in, so sorry. Dog-eat-dog world. :(

Thank you if you join!

Unimportant note: gigibunny0 doesn’t like to chat. I’ll try to, but I’m a hunt-and-peck typer on a phone so I’ll misspell constantly.

Edit: No need to ask for permission to also drop, or send buddy requests! Go ahead! I prefer it to requesting everyone myself!

So for all of my life I have been thinking, fantasizing, daydreaming about my fictional stories. I’d be world-building constantly, designing characters, forming the rest of the stories around scenes I’d imagine vividly alongside crappy choices of music… Although I’d never write actual drafts. That was too hard for me. I’d also have a cycle of abandoning stories I was originally excited about, after becoming bored. But nevertheless I dabbled with the activity every day, with practically no energy loss.

However, I’ve recently been diagnosed with ADHD, and started Ritalin around Christmas. At first my writing was unaffected. In fact, for 2 hours after I take my dose, I’m suddenly motivated to do the thing I’d usually neglect: plan and draft!

But every other time, my ability has been destroyed. I can no longer properly conceptualise what I used to. I can’t move my thoughts along, or even process one. I can’t add more to my stories as my brain absolutely *refuses* to create anything! Can’t even do those “what’s your characters fave food” exercises, or “write absolute garbage” ones! This started happening when I was writing a story with heavy planning, so I thought it would go away by letting myself write a low-quality self-insert Mary-sue fantasy, but the problem’s still there!

This isn’t an ADHD medication sub, so I don’t need advice right on that front. But I’d like to know if this is an experienced situation, if it sounds more like a placebo effect or burnout, and/or if there’s any regular methods and exercises I can do to help me regain my past ability. It’s really stressing me out! Thanks for any help!