AITA for not wanting my brother in law and his wife from being my daughters godparents
I’m M(48) my wife (40) and my brother in law (30) his wife (30). My wife and I have a newborn. During the pregnancy my brother in law and his wife planned the baby shower and decorated the babies room.
We felt great because in the past, I have always had issues that I have kept to myself to not cause drama in the family. He has always been babied by my wife’s family while they have really been hard on her. Growing up if they wanted to go to a movie they would force my wife to pay his way. If there was an extended family event he could cancel at anytime (one time literally when we went to pick him up) for any reason. My wife on the other hand would be scolded or guilted if we didn’t want to go. When my mother in law had hip surgery my wife was the one who bathed her, my brother in law stopped by one for about 30 minutes. When we brought up how that was pretty disrespectful their replay was that they didn’t want to stress him out. I always thought that was unfair to him that they thought he was made of glass when he is fully capable to handle anything.We had a horrible experience, my job fired me two days before the end of the month to avoid paying for medical coverage for when my wife was due and to avoid paternity leave.Then there was a complication when our daughter was born that she had the cord wrapped twice around her neck causing brain damage (HIE).
For the first few days my brother in law stepped up. He was there the first night and stayed over to relieve me that night as well as visited my wife and brought her food while she was in the hospitals. His wife was MIA.Then he dropped off the face of the earth for 2 weeks. Sending us texts to ask how we were doing. They finally went to see her on Father’s Day. This was the first time his wife met her. Then they took us out for pizza to let us went about the hell we have been going through. I thought we had turned a corner.
We have been staying at my in-laws for two weeks now and they have visited twice but send us texts of well wishes. They had made all these promises about being there for us but sometimes I feel it’s just empty promises. Like they were there when it was fun but now that it’s work they are nowhere to be seen. We have planned to get her baptized and I told my wife I want our friends who live out of state to be her godparents since they have been calling us, giving us advice, listening to what we are going through