u/ThickRule5569

Hey ladies,

I have about an inch of fresh regrowth after losing pretty much all of my hair from chemotherapy (for breast cancer). I don't have the face card to pull off short hair and I'm deeply insecure and afraid to leave the house. I've never had extensions before, but I think it might be my only hope.

I want to get extensions while my hair grows out, but I have no idea if they can work on very short hair, or how long I'd have to wait. I've read that keratin nano tips might be the way to go, but I don't know if they will work.

My regrowth is actually pretty dense and healthy, so I'm not too worried about it being thick enough. Would extensions be safe? I don't need long mermaid hair, I'd be happy even with a relatively fine bob. I'm losing hope and can't deal with being stuck inside or in a beanie for several more months

In some countries it's coming up to the time of year when breast cancer charities do their fund-raising, and we start to see corporate morning teas, events and fundraising challenges.

I think that these charities do great work, so I support the initiatives, but for our friends, family, colleagues etc who are managing the fundraising what advice would you give to them as a "survivor."

I've suggested that they avoid yassifying survivorship, because it's pretty brutal, even if it is better than death. I wonder if the public knew what post- active treatment looks like they'd think "damn, there needs to be a better way to survive" and dig deeper and give more money to fundraising, as well as having more grace for those who have 5-10 more years of AIs, menopause, and all the horrors that we experience.

36f, ++-, Aus

I had my final chemo yesterday, and the pre-infusion appointment where we talked about the future for me and all of the adjuvent treatment like Zoladex and AIs.

I asked my doctor (a GP/maybe oncology registrar?) about medication to mitigate some of the side effects of menopause and AIs, including vaginal estrogen. The doc was encouraging and positive about it, but needed to run the plan past the consultant oncologist, who is in charge of the whole treatment.

The response? Because there's a small risk of estrogen runaway on AIs the guidelines suggest that vaginal estrogen is only typically given for women who are in relationships and having issues with their sex lives.

Yes, read that again.

This oncologist thinks that VE is worth the risk when it involves a man's pleasure but not for a single woman's comfort. I was obviously looking quite upset about it so the doctor (the messenger, not the horrid decision maker/boss) was kind about it and tried to reassure me that there are good men out there and I can have a sex life again one day, but I couldn't articulate at the time why that was not the issue, or why it's the disappointment of seeing medical misogyny happen to me in real time.

Anyway, yes, I have already reached out to my nurse navigator to discharge from this oncologists care, and see if I can find a new one at the same public hospital. I don't know what happens now, if I still need an oncologist or if my long term GP can take over everything from now. Either way, I do not trust this oncologist and will not consent to being under her care.

But I can't stop feeling angry and sad and i wanted to vent. It's such a revolting attitude and a horrible ending to when I should be feeling happy to be finished chemo.

I know acupuncture has research backed benefits for chemo side effects, but I wanted to share my experience recently for those on the fence. I had my first acupuncture session on day 4 of my second cycle, and I felt freakishly better.

Admittedly my first cycle wasn't too horrible for side effects - I had some intense back pain for a few days from the pegfilgrastim and mild to medium fatigue, but I wanted to see if I could avoid the pain with some preventative acupuncture.

I had modest expectations, and I don't know exactly what or how the acupuncturist did it, but after 30 mins of lying there with a few needles sticking out of me I skipped out of there with a ridiculous amount of energy, and the expected pain of day 6-7 never came. I've been at the gym every day since and unless I see myself in the mirror I forget I've even had chemo.

I asked the oncologist and she said don't do it (because of infection concerns) but since I do not vibe with her at all, since she doesn't seem to give a single f about my actual wellbeing and seems to only see me as a vessel for cancer, I decided to accept the risk and go ahead with it. Fortunately I've had no infection, normal temperatures, no sores etc. so I think that regular common sense re: infection is enough to mitigate the risks.

Anyway, this isn't a post bitching about my oncologist's shortcomings, but to share my phenomenally positive and safe experience with acupuncture. It's a bit of a leap of faith, and there's no guarantees, but if you're on the fence then this is my experience and some encouragement.​

So I started this 4TC by buzzing my hair, because I knew some would fall out, and I'd hoped that it would make the cold capping work better. I'm in a public hospital so the cold capping is DIY with gel caps from Amazon and a freezer. Sadly they don't have a freezer where I am (even though I was told there would be) so cycle 1 cold capping was a fail.

Now my hair is 80-90% gone, and watching it fall out has been pretty devastating. Even though it was buzzed it just looks so much worse bald than I could have imagined, and now I'm second guessing if I want to continue.

For round 2 (and beyond) I now have a little off grid freezer esky with a battery that'll make cold capping feasible, but since I have so little hair left I'm wondering if I say "fuck this shit" and don't bother. Logically I know that cold capping still gives me the best chance at preventing permanent hair loss (as is the case 23% of docetaxel patients) and hopefully giving myself the best chance at speeding up and improving the regrowth, but emotionally it's hard to carry on. I don't mind the discomfort of being frozen, but it feels so pointless, and I feel fugly rn.

We know that movement, weights training, good food, and limiting nicotine/alcohol are lifestyle changes that make medical menopause and AIs bearable. I've been doing it constantly and honestly it seems to work and I feel okay day to day.

I am trusting the process, but I hate it. Walking for the sake of walking doesn't spark joy, going to the gym still feels like a chore, and honestly it feels like I'm on a constant hamster wheel. I work so hard to look mid and feel not-shit, and I just wonder when does it end? The lifestyle doesn't spark joy, and I often feel like I'm forcing myself and that I have no freedom. I'm plagued by food noise, and just general lifestyle noise, and I want this to feel natural and not like an obsession.

Has anyone made the jump from forcing wellness to just enjoying it, or feeling like it's a choice and a joy? I'm committed to maintaining the healthy habits now, and I'm pleased ot see it "working" but I hate white knuckling this new life. Will it ever feel instinctual instead of like I'm dragging myself out of bed or forcing it?

Has anyone used their steroid zoomies and energy to get to the gym for really good workouts, or smash out lots of work, clean their house, etc.

I start tomorrow (chemo the following day) and I wanted to hear from anyone of they've been able to channel the energy into something productive. How did it go?

I've come to terms with the fact that I'll be losing my hair after my 4TC chemo coming up, and I've got myself some wigs and all the accessories I need.

Originally I didn't want to cold cap because my hospital doesn't have any support for it (apart from a freezer on site and warm blankets) and since it doesn't seem worthwhile if I only end up keeping half of my hair.

Now I'm starting to think that it might be worth doing to promote better and faster regrowth, not to save my hair. I'd probably buzz my head beforehand so that the CC process is easier, and then hope that hair comes back strong.

Has anyone done this? (Either intentionally or by accident?) Or do you wish you did in hindsight? If I'm not trying or expecting to keep my hair is it less unpleasant?

I (35) got my diagnosis the day before I was due to go overseas for work for a year, and since my apartment was rented out and I was living out of a suitcase I came back to stay with my mum, in a different city far away from all my friends and my life, and I've been here for 3 months already. I know it's kinda "fortunate" not to worry about expenses or have any financial issues from cancer, but I'm jobless, don't have any friends locally (and can't be assed making any here since I won't be staying), and I'm bored af.

Unfortunately picking up a job for a short time that has flexibility and that I can physically manage isn't really a thing (I have lots of skills, but the time to hire and onboard makes it a longer term endeavour), and I have a job and life to resume once treatment is all over.

Since I can't work and it's not worthwhile investing in building community locally, how can I spend my days? I'm so bored of Netflix, the uninspiring collection of books at the local library, and I'm still recovering from reconstruction surgery so I'm a bit physically limited. Apart from daily gym sessions what else can I do to entertain myself, while I'm in and out of the hospital for chemo.

There's never a good time to get cancer, but I kinda wish it had happened while I was around friends, working (and therefore at least a bit distracted from constantly thinking about cancer), and doing something somewhat productive with my life. Everything is just on pause until I am cleared to move overseas.

If anyone has suggestions of hobbies, activities, things to do etc around 4TC chemo for the next 3 months I'd love to hear them. I've already been "relaxing" and doing fa (around surgeries, scans and appointments) for the last 3 months, so I'm past the point of enjoying the break, and feel more distressed the less I do.