u/ThickSkull24

UPDATE: Thank you all for the various feedback today. As proven in one section of the comments, there are some mean people in the world who will say, “sometimes the only way parents will learn is if their kid gets sick & dies,” or “if your kid makes it to adulthood,” or “you don’t deserve your children.” These are exactly the kind of people who make me afraid for my children.

We are all doing what we believe is best for our kids.

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Let me start by saying, my husband is more the crunchy parent, so I respect his beliefs as the father of our children. I am a bit more neutral on a lot of things.

With that, we do not vax our kids & I do not volunteer that information as a way to protect our kids. People genuinely wish harm upon unvaxxed kids & it is disgusting and makes me scared for my kids. I have been SO hesitant to post this for that exact reason.

Long story short - my husband chose to share this info with some friends & while our friends were ultimately understanding & supportive, it just triggered me all over again around how borderline dangerous it is to tell people we have chosen to not vax. I have done some research all around, and I really do get why people choose to vax & why some don’t. Again, I tend to be neutral & often understand both sides, and then I make my decisions based on my own experiences.

I guess in this case, I’m looking for reassurance that we are doing the “right” thing, especially coming from moms who are more like my husband & can help me not so be fearful.

For context, I started combo feeding a little over a month after baby was born. I pump during the day & if baby wakes at night, I’ll nurse, and then back to pumps/bottles during the day. Baby has always thankfully taken well to both the breast & to the bottle. I started adding in formula as a way to get ahead on pumps so I can do the pitcher method. I still do that now. Over time, baby has started eating more, so maybe 1 bottle a day is formula only, the rest breast milk.

All this to say, I worry she’s eating too much in one sitting & not eating frequently enough? Everything I’ve read is that at this age, babies are eating 4-6 oz, 5-6 times a day.

When baby girl was around 3 months, she would start her day with on average an 8oz bottle (after sleeping 10-12 hours through the night), and then she’d have usually two more 6-8oz bottles before she was down for the night.

We are likely also going through the 4 month sleep regression, but I feel like she’s so hungry too? She’ll have those 3 larger size bottles through the day, and then wake up hungry around 4 AM, so I’ll nurse & then back to sleep. Maybe 1.5 hours after going back to sleep, she’ll wake up hungry again & can crush another 8oz no problem.

I guess I have a few questions - does or has anyone else’s baby had a tendency to eat larger bottles, therefore eating less frequently? At this rate, she’s leaning closer to 27-30 oz per day - is that the same numbers anyone else is seeing at 4 months old?

I should say we had a doc appt the other day & they said she’s perfect. No concerns about weight/size/demeanor, so I guess I am doing something right, lol. It just concerns me when I hear about other babies eating less more frequently, and I guess I am nervous about overfeeding her!

My friend and I had an early Mothers Day celebration today, so my partner was with the kids. Our 4 month old’s schedule was totally thrown off & they’ve been sleeping most of the early evening. Baby just started stirring an hour so ago, but not quite awake, so I just sat next to them trying to soothe. After a good while of that, I just had a feeling of, “I should pick baby up. I WANT to pick baby up. I just want to snuggle.” We are sitting on the couch, everyone else is asleep, and baby is out cold on my chest.

I am sure as soon as I go to put baby down, they’ll start crying, lol. But for now, I will soak this up. I genuinely missed baby while they were sleeping. Parenthood is hard. The fourth trimester is wild to say the least. But it is my favorite feeling when it’s just me & baby, and I just know I am their safe place.

Happy Mothers Day 💕

For context, I moved into my partner’s apartment they shared with their kid before we’d met, and the general rule was kiddo could sleep on the couch if there was no school the next day. Worth mentioning only 1 of the 3 nights they’re with us is a school night. Kiddo had a mattress that really was crappy & they didn’t like sleeping in that bed. I respected their dynamic, even though it honestly did bother me. It was a fairly small apartment so if I wanted to stay up later than the kid, I had to go to our bedroom, which was fine, but if my partner was sleeping, I felt restricted in either room. I was walking on eggshells.

Fast forward to us now having bought a house, that is OUR house in every sense of the word. We bought brand new furniture & mattress for the kid’s room. We also bought a brand new couch. Sure enough, first weekend, kiddo’s asking to sleep on the couch. Eventually one day they asked my partner in front of me & I made a quick comment saying something like, “Idk, you do have that brand new beautiful bed up there.” That particular night, partner agreed with me & that was that.

A couple more weekends pass, and again, kiddo is more often than not sleeping on the couch. My partner was cleaning kiddo’s room today though, so I finally said something. Partner’s initial response was, “I’d agree with ya’, but most of the days since we’ve been living here, kid just hasn’t had school the next day.” I said, “Well school’s coming to an end soon & is he gonna’ sleep on the couch every single night?”

I continued on saying every once in a while is cool, we can make a movie night out of it & make it special, but kiddo has this beautiful new room now, with a brand new mattress. My partner didn’t really say anything else but, “Yeah.” Partner wasn’t upset & didn’t lash out, just kind of stayed quiet.

Granted we have a ton more space now - there’s a basement that once it’s furnished, if kiddo is asleep in the living room, I could hang out there so I’m not bothering anybody. But that’s not the point. The kid is 8, has a gorgeous new room with perfect furniture, and they’re still gonna’ sleep in the one room that’s for everyone? Idk… I almost wish my partner had more of a reaction so I could say more of my piece so they would understand.

I just hope my words aren’t dismissed. I said my piece, if it continues to happen, I’ll say something again. I just shouldn’t have to. I’ve always tried to be understanding - my partner wants to make the kid happy. Please tell me if I need to be more understanding here.