u/Think_Young5611

I don’t hook up with ppl on there I just have it as like another avenue in terms of dating but why did I just open the app and there’s a twink bottom on there with two separate accounts where one he’s clearly a guy and the other he’s pretending to be trans for his of/spicy page. Like gay guys do the absolute most for dick it’s actually so painfully embarrassing. Mind you this nigga is bright red lipstick and hard front synthetic wig looking overly bricky. This is why ppl hate trans women bc you get the sissys/CDs/femboys that pretend to be trans just to attract a nigga.

It’s such a painful and annoying experience of being a femme (no matter your gender) and interacting with men. I think one thing I’ve learned with my 27 years on this planet is that men really are drawn to the aesthetic of a femme but do not appreciate the feminine mind at all. This man asked me on a date last week I think??? And I agreed. He messaged me like an hour ago while I was sleeping and asked me what I wanted to do and I asked him idk what do you want to do. He then proceeded to tell me we can get a hotel and cuddle. Now in my
Brain when he initially asked me I was hoping we were going to go out but that wasn’t the case obviously. I then say we aren’t doing that because I wanted to go on like a proper date (which it didn’t even have to be expensive I’d settle for a coffee or something). He then says he doesn’t have the money for a 43 dollar hotel room which he pitched the idea to go to in the first place and then I tell him (out of anger) that one I’m 27 I’m clearly not an ugly person (nothing wrong with that either) I do in fact have other options that would actually treat me like a human and take me on a proper date and he misgendered me which I thought was odd and also told me to stfu; which him telling me to do that is what actually started the entire arguement. All this to say it’s very annoying being a trans woman who’s done literally all of the work to let go of male thinking, and male patterns and constantly be put in scenarios with men where they are attracted to you but engage with you on a guy level and expect you to also engage on that level. I told this man I’ve dated a lot of men and they never tell me to stfu because you just don’t tell women that especially when they aren’t even at fault in the situation. And then he said I act like a boy and that I’m sassy. And it leads me to think In general men really just like the aesthetic of a femme and the attention it brings them amongst their male counterparts. Because one thing I’ve learned with being in partnership (platonically) with other femmes there’s a natural need to create a safe space to go over the top of celebrate the small moments. And for some reason men don’t like that nor do they desire to do that which I feel like that is like an innate part of being a femme you just do it naturally???? It’s just sad that men project a lot. And are so unaware versus like a femme there’s more depth and awareness of self. Then these men seek out the beautiful souls and just be mean to them all day long idgi. I also don’t wanna correlate this behavior to being gay but I’ve met three men (him included) that acted like that and ended up cheating on me literally with a guy which one of those men did stuff with my ex bf believe it or not.

I will preface this by saying my race and presentation plays an important part in what I’m abt to say but being a black trans woman that’s alternative that passes as biracial mostly white dudes talk to me which I don’t really mind the race of a person tbh I never really have well I this guy hmu yesterday and we got into a discussion abt my type in terms of a partner and ik for me im typically more compatible with a guy (im hetero) that’s more masculine than me but has soft attributes to him. Like trade af but in tune with his feminine side. Or even men that are metrosexuals And then I started talking to this man abt how again mostly white boys want to be with me romantically and sexually but I’ve also noticed amongst white men most of them are bottoms which that’s doesn’t bother me yes I identify as hetero but I’m not a heteronormative person either just bc I don’t feel comfortable existing in those spaces I feel the most me around other queer ppl but with this reoccurring pattern of meeting white men that want a dom/top but I’ve also noticed these white boys HUNGER a dominant black man it makes me wonder if these white boys are interested in me bc they see me as more masculine than them and I expressed that very statement to him and he completely blew up on me which kinda hurt my feelings bc I feel like black ppl man or woman or really any gender are easily masculinized and I told him when I engage with these men the things they ask of me takes me so far out of my body I no longer feel feminine at all does anyone else have the issue lmk also like was being problematic in expressing that bc he kinda made it seem like I was being problematic but I don’t feel like I was?? Also like imo his reaction just kinda elves that white queer ppl forget they are also white like there’s nothing wrong with dating outside of your race obviously but sometimes their responses are very white and racist bc a lot of black and brown women especially trans women feel like a walking porn category