u/ThrowRAkanchan

I have all surgical branches options in my state (never wanted to be a physician)
I was Confused between Psm( chill life) in top medical college around me vs obg in average college in my state, but ultimately after soo much introspection i ended up with obg only
Wish me luck ♥️

Same as title
I can’t even type 😭😭 took pcm citrizine , but nothing is helping. My body and head’s aching, mild fever Rn, does anyone encountered same ever? It’s my first time facing this, i’m very serious about this neetg attempt and dont want to loose hopes because of a s#%viral

I never wanted to post something like this because I’ve spent almost five years protecting my partner’s image. I never complained about him to my family, my sister, or even my closest friends because I always believed relationships get better, but the bad things people hear about your partner stay with them forever. So I chose to carry everything alone.

A few days ago, I went to my sister’s birthday after inviting him multiple times. He refused to come. At the party, there was a guy of my young brother’s age I’ve known since childhood, someone I’ve always seen like a brother.my dad’s friends kids are of same age as us, we all hangout together. I posted a normal group video, and within minutes I was getting abusive calls, being told to come home immediately, accused of things I never did, and forced to explain myself over and over again. The next day he came home drunk, abused me, and even insulted my sister.
This wasn’t the first time. On my own birthday, all I wanted was to feel like someone had put thought into making me feel special. Instead, I spent the first hours of my birthday crying alone. Because he asked me sp i sent him money for bringing drinking stuff, nd at 11 pm when i asked him where’s cake, he said order krlege baad mein, idk i expected a customized pre order cake, or flowers or some decorations, i felt worst, i went to terrace crying alone. The next day, when I asked if he had planned anything, he hadn’t. I ended up going out with my sister and female friends instead. He refused to join us despite being invited again and again. Later that night, while I was sitting at same friend’s house with my sister and three girls, he kept texting me that I was “wandering around,” questioned my character, said he didn’t trust me, and even judged the girls I was with. I sent him snaps of my place, but he was abusing me
The irony is that he goes out almost every day, parties, drinks, and I never question him. I barely go out without him, and the only two times I did this past year turned into the biggest fights of our relationship.
The saddest part isn’t even the fights anymore. It’s realizing I’ve spent years proving my loyalty to someone who never chose to trust me, while silently carrying all of this alone because I didn’t want anyone else to hate the person I loved. I post our pictures on my ig account, i don’t think a girl who’s no serious in relations would do that stuff. Wherever i’m i talk about him.
he texts me as if nothing happened—“Where are you?” “What are you doing?”—without a single apology, explanation, or acknowledgment of the hurt he caused.
That’s what hurts the most. How do you hurt someone so deeply and then just… move on? How do you watch someone cry and expect them to study, smile, and act normal? He knows I’m someone who overthinks every word, who cries over one sentence, yet he still says, “Study instead of talking about all this.”
Even 2 months ago before my exams, something he did left me crying for two days. I couldn’t concentrate, and instead of comforting me, he blamed me for blocking him. Today, I even met with a small accident on my way to study, right knee was bleeding not much but my body’s aching, and I still couldn’t focus because my mind is carrying all of this.
I feel utterly alone, i pushed away all people because of this person, and now when he’s not around i don’t have anyone to talk to
Last night i spent night imagined worst case scenario after my death, i want to just giveup

I genuinely don’t feel like studying anymore.

Every time I open a book, all I can think about is
‘yeh bhi reh gaya, woh bhi reh gaya, revise nahi hua.” It gets so overwhelming that I can’t focus on even one thing properly. Aur book band karte hi woh thoughts chale jaate hain.
he worst feeling is knowing that in the exam hall I might see a question and think ki “sh*t , maine yeh padha tha but revise nahi kiya,” and maybe I won’t even be able to attempt it.
one a scale of 10, i revision today was 0/10
it feels so illegal

Idonno what to write but just hate myself for being this emotional/ vulnerable
If it’s because my exam’s is in one day or me being emotional about the fact that my boyfriend talked rudely to me, i wasn’t talking to him from past week we were hardly talking for 30min in a day, was soo busy didn’t had much to talk. 3 days ago we had an arguement in which he texted me chl hat mood khrab mat kr, and that was it for me i blocked him from everywhere
Today i saw his flirting comment under a influencer which broke me i was crying already past days, but today i can’t control, tears falling endlessly i can’t stop myself, i couldn’t even study
Feel like ending it all, itne problem hai life mein for a person like me who overthinks, life wouldn’t easy for me in future too
Someone said during my ragging in 1st year tu mbbs mein kya karne aayi tere jese log fanda lga lete hai, i can’t forget those lines because wo senior ne mujhe dekhkr yeh bola that how fragile i was
Useless person i’m , had only one job to do to study wo bi nhi krhi, life isn’t for people like jinko ache se jina nhi aata. I hate to be born in this world, koi deserving person ko milti ye life, i can’t do anything with it

I seriously don’t understand the logic behind INI-CET center allocation sometimes. There is literally an iON center for inicet just 10 km away from my house, and STILL they gave me a center that’s almost two hours away from my city. Like why??

And the timing could not have been worse. On 15th my parents have to go to Haridwar because of family pressure and some compulsory family thing where the whole family is going. If my dad was here, he would’ve just driven me there without making it a big issue.But now he won’t even be here, and I genuinely don’t know how I’m supposed to manage all this alone.

So now instead of focusing on the exam, I’m stressing about HOW to even reach the center safely and on time all alone
there’s a center practically next to my house and somehow I still get sent two hours away. It just feels unnecessarily stressful and unfair.
And here I am at 3 a.m. questioning all my life choices because of this INI-CET hazard.