u/ThrowRAmangos2024

I (F36) live in NYC and was told I'll need a medical escort for after my colonoscopy in a few weeks. I was plumbing the depths of my brain and I really couldn't think of anyone who could do it!

For reference, I'm single and most of my closest friends and family live out of town. Many of my in-town friends are either quite elderly and live far from where I'm getting the procedure, or are gigging artists who are typically out of town for gigs during the summer. It feels weird to ask my colleagues because while we all get on we don't have super personal relationships.

I guess I'm feeling kind of lame for potentially needing to hire a random stranger to literally walk me out of the doctor's office...Has anyone else had to do this? I'm honestly so embarrassed about it that I don't think I'm going to tell anyone I actually know IRL!!!

EDIT: Wow thank you so much for all the supportive comments, I'm blown away! I will get back to as many as possible. Also, I hope this didn't come off as me trying to shame anyone who's hired a medical escort (or is one). This is entirely about my own feeling of just not having many available people in my local corner and feeling kind of embarrassed about that. I already feel so much more at ease reading through the comments, so thank you!!

I (F36) have been working professionally as a singer for almost 15 years, 10 in NYC. I've done well in that realm but have also always had parallel careers in education and arts admin.

Last year I finally bit the bullet and got a full-time day job, and I LOVE the stability! I've still been singing on the side, but it's been tricky balancing despite my day job being super flex (I'm so lucky in that regard).

On a low-singing week, I practice maybe 3x. I'll up it when I have a big gig. My endurance isn't as good as when I was singing chorally all the time, but also most of my gigs are solo these days anyway.

I've also always had major sinus issues (chronic sinusitis and allergies), plus some other chronic health issues that have impacted my voice over the years. I'm fortunate I've found a way to sing through it, but I've always found consistency really tough, and I feel like since I've not been singing quite as much I'm struggling with it even more. Some days I think "Wouldn't it be nice to just not have to worry about my voice?" But then when it's working well I still love it and I still enjoy many of the gigs I do.

So my question is: Has anyway made the decision to fully stop singing in middle age? If so, why did you do it, how did you feel about it at the time, and how do you feel about it now? I think I'm scared of "losing it", especially as a woman getting into peri years where lots will change anyway. It's such a core part of my identity that it's hard to imagine letting it go fully.

I (F36) am wondering if anyone has ever stepped back from a friendship with someone you still have to live with. I'm really struggling with guilt after making it clear to my roommate Ellie (F29) that I no longer have as much energy for our friendship as I did before.

BACKGROUND: Last fall, I went from being a freelance artist to having my first full time day job with gigging on the side. I still have a social life, date, exercise, cook, volunteer, etc, but I no longer have the capacity for the high contact social relationship I initially with Ellie during our first year living together.

We didn't know each other before I moved in. Throughout the first year, we'd have a lot of natural overlap at home, would casually hang out on the fly, chat and gossip a lot, watch TV together, and go to each other's shows. Not long after getting the new job, I started to feel really overstimulated being around her at home and craved more alone time. She is a super extrovert and likes to make random chit chat, and the regular questions and check-ins that used to feel endearing started to feel grating and overstimulating.

Ellie and I finally talked about the change in our dynamic last week. I apologized for not being more direct about needing space and assured her she didn't do anything wrong, and it was just taking me a while to adjust to my new normal. She had recently asked me to hang out a number of times and invited me to her big show twice in a row. During our chat, I told her I didn't want to keep putting her off with a "maybe in a few weeks" or "not this weekend", and would rather just not schedule anything right now rather than hope my energy comes back by the next time she asks. Even though she accepted my boundary, I know she is hurt that I didn't see her show and that I won't schedule time with her.

Things are fine at home and we both are still friendly and communicate well, but I have a hard time not letting go of the guilt. She's a really good person; I just need home to feel like a sanctuary rather than another place to socially perform and therefore don't have energy to give to her these days. Does anyone have advice for how to let go of the guilt in a situation like this? She sees me talking on the phone, coming back late from social outings, and watching a show over dinner, and I feel self-conscious about the fact that she is watching me go on without her every day. I know I'm not responsible for her feelings, but I still feel bad.

FWIW I would love to live alone but am about 1.5-2 years away from affording it in my VHCOL city (or moving away). That is definitely a near-term goal.

I (F36) have been living in a VHCOL city on the east coast for the past decade working as a freelance artist and nonprofit professional. I'm single with no kids and am fortunate to be in good health atm, which wasn't the case till somewhat recently.

In the next few years, I think I'd like to apply to jobs in other cities/states. I love urban life, but would like to live somewhere more affordable where I can have my own place (I still have a roommate), easier access to nature, and less overall stimulation. One one hand, it's really exciting to be in a "sky's the limit" position where I could literally pick up and go anywhere. On the other, it's a bit overwhelming, almost like having two many options and getting decision paralysis.

Would love to hear from those of you who made a similar kind of "pick up and go" decision in your 30s. How did you decide where to go? Were you happy with the decision? How was rebuilding community there? Is there anything you'd do differently on a second go round? Would love to learn from you experiences. TIA!

I (F36) am exploring getting a Project Management cert of some sort this summer. Would you recommend a PMC Google Coursera cert or a CAPM?

A little background: I've spent the majority of my career as a freelance classical musician alongside teaching and part-time arts administrative/NPO work. Last year I started full-time at my non-profit, where I oversee arts fundraising and manage our org's CRM.

I'm interested in changing jobs in the next year or two. I like my job for now, but my org is religious and politically complicated, with no room for further growth and a low salary ceiling. I'm interested in trying project management next, but am also open to working at a better established/funded NPO in the future.

I've spent my entire career managing all manner of arts/non-profit projects (concert series, organizational budgets, music studio of 30 students, ensembles, government grants, individual giving campaigns, etc), but I don't know the more corporate language and probably have a few knowledge gaps. I already looked into the PMP and I don't think I qualify yet. What do you think would be most helpful for me? Thank you!!