Am I too picky or am I not asking for enough?😪 me F24, him m25 2+yr relationship
When P and I started dating, I noticed a few things that were different about him, different than anyone else I had ever dated. The biggest thing I noticed at the start was that he wasn’t hypersexual in the way a lot of men are, in my experience. He never asked me for nudes or even brought up sex, and since we had just started dating I just thought that he was a gentleman. Then, the first time we tried to hook up he couldn’t get hard and I thought okay, he’s just really nervous and it’s getting the best of him. And from that point, we started having sex (successfully) and it was always really good. Hands down best I’ve ever had. But here comes our issue: my libido is higher than his. I didn’t quite realize it at the start, but as I mentioned, there were clues. I’m not trying to be stereotypical here, but in my experience, the man always wants sex more than the woman. But in my relationship it’s not like that. I think about sex a lot, multiple times a day. And I mean fck I’m 24, I should be having sex multiple times a week. But we do it once a week, at best. I’ve brought it up multiple times, I’ve told him that I feel like he would just be okay without sex, like if we weren’t having it at all it would be no big deal. And he always swears that’s not true, that he enjoys it. So I ask why we aren’t doing it more? “I don’t know”. It’s always “I don’t know” or “I’m sorry”. And I’m so tired of hearing that. I’m tired of not having enough sex, I’m tired of being the one asking for it, I’m tired of not feeling that desire, the passion. I love this man so much and he treats me so well and when we have sex, it’s amazing. We just don’t do it enough. I think it’s partly because it’s so hard for him to open up, sometimes I feel like I don’t even REALLY know the man I’ve been with for over two years now. I don’t think he’s even fully comfortable with himself or really knows who he is. So how are we going to be open and vulnerable in the bedroom when he can’t even open up to me on the couch? I feel im reaching a point where I don’t think this will ever change, and like maybe I should leave so we can be with people better suited to our wants in a partner. The problem is he always seems so happy with me. And I love him so much, when I think about breaking up it hurts my heart. But I also want to spend the rest of my life with someone who wants to be open and deep with me, someone who desires me for my connection emotionally and physically and who can give themselves to me fully. I want that person to be him more than anything, but I don’t think you can really change those types of fundamental things about yourself, and I also don’t want him to change himself for me if he’s happy being the way he is. But we get along so well, I feel like he’s my family. So if I leave, what if I regret it?