u/Throwaway134579648

Hello reddit,

I've lived with my boyfriend for just over a year now, and I love him dearly, it's been amazing being out of my parents toxic household, and my boyfriend makes sure to let me know he loves me, the only problem is he's lazy.

He doesn't clean unless I ask him, which leaves the house a mess if I don't spend my days off work cleaning it, and he doesn't cook. My bf can cook 2 meals, rice and chicken and pasta with a premade sauce.

I usually cook dinner every night, no matter how tired, sick or sore I am (I have chronic pain in my left leg) and if I don't cook dinner I only get chicken and rice, or if we don't have chicken breast available we just don't eat/need to get take out.

I've suggested to my boyfriend before that it might be good to learn to cook more meals, and his answer was "why? I don't need too right now?" And it pissed me off. He's always very appreciative of what I cook, and thanks me multiple times, but despite that I don't feel appreciated if I'm the only one cooking.

Tonight my work was very busy, and I've come home with my left leg acting up, sore eyes from working in a smokey kitchen all day, having to interact with kids all day and staying to do over time.

I got home and was instantly met with "what's for dinner?" I pretended to think but eventually I just confessed that I really didn't want to cook, and asked if he'd cook. He suggested chicken and rice and we had chicken last night so I suggested something else, and instead of helping me think he stared blankly at his phone occasionally telling me he was hungry and reminding me he's only had cereal today (he's been home all day so I don't know why he hasn't made himself more food) eventually I told him I was just going upstairs to charge my phone because it was at 2%.

I ended up falling asleep for about an hour and when I came downstairs I was met with "I'm really hungry" and I replied with "haha me too" and we sat in silence for a good 5 minutes before he said he could try and cook the premade smash burgers. I asked if that was okay and the snapped yes, and then said he was hangry.

It took him to the point of hangry, of me not giving in for 2 hours for him to finally decide he'll try to make something. Which, by the way, he works in burger King, so I'm not sure why he's so apprehensive to try and cook burgers.

It annoys me that no matter what I'm doing, if I'm on a day off, have plans, or have work I'm expected to buy the groceries, plan them out, decide meals, and make them. Even when I ask for his input he says "idk" and makes me decide everything.

I feel like a mother, not a partner, and I know he's going to come through later and tell me that I was mean, or rude, or something for making him wait and not making dinner. I'm dreading it because I don't have the energy to have a peaceful conversation about this tonight

TLDR: my boyfriend only knows how to cook 2 meals, doesn't feel the need to learn new recipes, and no matter what my personal circumstances are I'm expected to buy groceries, decide, plan and cook dinner and the only way that changes is if he's to the point of hunger where he's angry.