32M In need of advice
Struggling to find my place in the LGBT+ community
Hi, I’m 32 Male. On the autistic spectrum and I have ADHD.
Honestly all my life I have really struggled to fit in. My experience as a gay man in my 20s has been disappointing and full of rejection. I’ve struggled to make a connection with someone.
Don’t get me wrong, some reasons are my own fault and I am learning not to repeat my mistakes I made in my 20s. Examples include being too much for people, a tad obsessive, texting people too much and being very anxious. (I’m on ritalin now and it really helps calm me down!). But also have been in therapy to work on myself.
Luckily I did manage to find out more about myself in my 20s. I am very kinky and have been getting more involved in the kink scene (Pup play etc). I like the whole non-monogamy vibe where i can have sex with friends and it’s not weird. I see a lot of people do it. Because I enjoy it and I felt I have had a lot more success in meeting more people compared to the general LGBT+ community.
I’ve recently moved to a new city early this Spring. Main reason is the kink community there is very big and active there. (Plus I got a new job in that city which is going really well atm). In the hopes to meet more people.
Luckily I know a few friends there. But i feel I am falling into the same trap in my 20s now. I’ve been hanging out with some of them more but I feel as time goes on. They don’t particularly enjoy spending time with me? (I’m starting to notice it more with their faces or when they make more of an effort with others compared to me). Like they always so kinky sessions with other people in the group but if I suggest if anyone wants to do anything with me, i just get left on read or if it’s in person. What i just said doesn’t get acknowledged.
I don’t want to question them about it because i don’t think it’ll go well?
I have been trying to meet new people by going to kink events (there are several different ones per month). But i struggle with making conversation which I think I need to work on.
I love living where I am. I also love my new job. So those aspects of my life have improved.
I would like a partner one day but i don’t think that will happen. But I want to make many friends in the kink scene and if something happens organically where it develops into a relationship, I think that is more likely to happen than going on dating apps. (They are so terrible ugh).
Even if a relationship doesn’t happen, having quality friends would make a big difference. People who actually want me around that i feel a connection too
I’ve been going to the gym more so i can be more fit and it’s good for my mental health.
I don’t suppose if anyone has any advice on what else I could do? I don’t want to struggle like this in my 40s. 😅
(I really hope my post makes sense 👀)